WIBU to not allow popular kids characters/music in the house?

[Elilanna]

No kids yet, but I'm hoping to have them in the near-ish future, work in the early childhood sector and have a young niece and nephew so I'm quite aware of what's popular with the little ones these days, but I'm personally not a fan and would rather not expose my own children to any of that media, at least not when they're very small - but I've heard a lot of criticism of this approach, that "only crunchy hippie mums do that!" and "it's part of our culture, you're depriving them of an important part of childhood!" Specifically I'd be avoiding Disney, Cocomelon, and the Wiggles, and even things I don't mind wouldn't be on baby's clothes & other belongings as I don't believe in turning your child into free advertising for a popular brand. I'm otherwise not very "hippie" or "crunchy", this is just the one thing where I'd like to limit their exposure.

So... tell me I'm not the only one who wants to do this?

I think there are certain battles that just aren’t worth fighting. In an ideal world all kids would be playing with beige, faceless wooden pegs and their imaginations would flourish but in the real world, I wonder how you’ll feel when yours is the only kid who doesn’t know who Peppa Pig or Moana is.

Lol

The idea of life with children and the reality of life with children are two very different things.

You can choose to limit these things but just be ready to spin on a dime and change your mind. I.e don't start telling all and sundry what you're doing, if you're doing it just get on with it or it'll come over as criticism.

Aren't we all.

In reality when you do have kids you'd do well to remember they are actual people with their own ideas, likes, dislikes and preferences not dolls who have no opinions. It will save you a lot of stress and unnecessary frustration.

God I am this person. I bloody hate guns and swore there would never be toy weapons in my home. Little did I know, that in my children's eyes, anything can be repurposed as a weapon. And yes by saying mummy doesn't like guns so no I won't be spending my money on them, I have now made them more exciting than heroin.

My son was never going to have access to phones or electronic devices.
He could unlock my phone at 18 months old whilst screaming "peppa".
Trust me, you'll look back and laugh at yourself.

Can I ask why? I'm interested to know.

Why don't you want them to watch or listen to those shows?

We have very little character clothing, if any.

It’s certainly possible, but I’d say ‘not allow’ is just a way to make it forbidden fruit.

I generally don’t buy branded things as they’re more expensive than regular (only exception was Peppa Pig and Paw Patrol undies during toilet training!). And I actually had to Google Cocomelon and the Wiggles, so we clearly avoided those. But gifts (especially from grandparents) have come with Disney and such on them, and we don’t reject them. So if you want to avoid having too much branded things a neutral attitude is likely best.

It’s perfectly fine not to seek out any particular kind of thing for your very young child. You will have complete control for a short period of time.

Once your child enters the world and spends time with other children, your child is going to be exposed to ideas and media that do not personally introduce. You retain veto power and should use it for anything truly harmful or dangerous, but you need to allow your children, even young children, to make their own choices to some extent.

for example, if your child comes home from school having fallen in love Jesse from Toy Story and wants nothing more for Christmas than to have a doll of her own, you should really examine your parenting choices if you wouldn’t get it just because it is Disney.

If rather people stopped using that ridiculous term "crunchy mum". Please just let it fuck off and die.

I think too when you imagine yourself as a parent you picture one-off trips to the park or walks with the buggy. You can’t picture the unending relentlessness of a kid needing your whole attention when you’ve only had three hours sleep yourself. It’s brilliant but you absolutely will cut corners before you go insane.

Heh. Same. Only organic home-prepared meals and wholesome intellectually stimulating activities for my hypotheticals.

DS mostly eats white bread and watches ASMR YouTube every single day.

OP, you can do as you wish but one day your child will be exposed to other people. My DS has never seen paw patrol, Cocomelon or the wiggles. But he loves Hey Duggee and Postman Pat.

“Free advertising” baffles me. Never seen a child wearing clothes with characters on and thought “wow, better get on board with that!”.

I get what you're saying. But you would be depriving them of a large part of their shared cultural currency with their peers and run the risk of making it much harder for them to fit in. Also anything you ban will become far more appealing.

It’s like with teen girls. My friend with two lovely rather square teen boys announced she would just not “allow” any Dd of hers to dress like our girls. My other friend and I were like 🙄 would love to see how she would achieve that!

My children get huge joy from things with characters they recognise on them. Their favourite things have always been a minions t-shirt/Elsa jammies/Bluey pencil case etcetc. It's how kids operate. They see cartoons they love (because kids love cartoons) and then branded stuff is a celebration of that. It's like a first expression of their personality.

That's been my experience anyway.

The only thing that is certain about the parent you'll be is it won't be how you imagine it will be.

You can try it that way if you want. I give you until their 3rd birthday 😆

Just out of interest does this extend to books such as the gruffalo for example?
Is it just TV based things you have a problem with? You realise a large number of popular TV series also have books, puzzles and other educational things attached to them. For example my son has never seen winnie the pool on TV but has puzzles and books and absolutely loves tigger.

His best friend is obsessed with simba, being 2 she has never seen the lion King but has books and teddy's about it.

As an early years provider are you assuming every child that loves a certain character is spending their weekend watching TV?

My 5 and 2 year old have never watched any of those programmes. They watch tv a couple of times a week after supper- CBeebies and Tractor Ted as I find them the most bearable.

They don’t have any characters on their clothes. I think they look awful and so don’t buy them, they rarely come clothes shopping with me and so have never asked for them.

None of this has really been a conscious decision, it’s just happened.
I am aware things may change as they get older.

YABU to make these decision before having children. You hqve no idea what you'll allow when you're unwell, knackered and you have a grumpy toddler to entertain.

I limit some things I don't deem appropriate but we have some popular characters in our lives. I refuse to have cocomelon due to its terrible americanism. We have a few pairs of Pyjamas with characters on but thats about it. Too many nice kids clothes to get the themed ones.

I also hate disney for how sexist it is, so at present we avoid that.

I agree!
Why go to Disney when you can skip their bastardised versions and go directly to Andersen and Grimms.
May I recommend some short German tales?www.gutenberg.org/files/12116/12116-h/12116-h.htm

The Apprentice by Zeman is great kid's movie too.

Disney is fir pussies😁

I understand where you're coming from but when you have a child, and you see that they are developing their own interests, it's a nice thing to enjoy these things with them and see their joy.

I thought the same when my DD was young. I was gifted Disney baby stuff and hated it.

Now at the age of 4 her biggest joy is wearing anything Frozen or LOL branded (the sparklier the better) and it doesn't bother me at all. She's happy, I'm happy.

Coco melon though. That programme drove me mad and I'm so glad we're out of that phase! It did get me through many an hour of cooking and cleaning in peace though so 🤷‍♀️

I love it when people start saying everything they won’t do when they have kids (I had similar ideas) 😂
wait until you’re on day 3 of no sleep due to a sleep regression or teething, you’re walking around like the walking dead and putting something on the telly for 10 minutes allows you to drink some tea and cry into a pillow

Honestly that’s not meant to be snarky I had a few similar ideas but then the reality of this wonderful tiny human is just so different. Go in with your intentions but don’t beat yourself up if they turn to mush.

There's a huge difference between working with kids, having nieces and nephews and actually being a parent yourself. Everyone has ideas of what a parent will do but the reality is very different.

No toy story? No Nemo? No Duggee? What a joyless world your imaginary children live in.