WIBU to not allow popular kids characters/music in the house?

[Elilanna]

No kids yet, but I'm hoping to have them in the near-ish future, work in the early childhood sector and have a young niece and nephew so I'm quite aware of what's popular with the little ones these days, but I'm personally not a fan and would rather not expose my own children to any of that media, at least not when they're very small - but I've heard a lot of criticism of this approach, that "only crunchy hippie mums do that!" and "it's part of our culture, you're depriving them of an important part of childhood!" Specifically I'd be avoiding Disney, Cocomelon, and the Wiggles, and even things I don't mind wouldn't be on baby's clothes & other belongings as I don't believe in turning your child into free advertising for a popular brand. I'm otherwise not very "hippie" or "crunchy", this is just the one thing where I'd like to limit their exposure.

So... tell me I'm not the only one who wants to do this?

All those ideals will go the same way as the birth plan you spend hours writing.

This.

Also TV isn’t always bad for them.

Mine are too old for Cocomelon but my friend’s toddler watches lots of it and can sing all the songs, it’s helped her speech with certain words and I don’t think it’s the brain crying horror show people like to think it is.

Best new parent advice we were given (apart from avoid bibs with days of the week on them and do up the poppers on baby grows alternating left and right) was never say never.

That thing you said you would never do may be the thing which saves your sanity at 3am after many nights of no sleep.

When my nephew was born my brother said he’d ban all characters etc. My nephew ended up being the biggest Thomas the Tank Engine fan. This led to him taking an interest in steam trains, volunteering at a railway and now he’s got an apprenticeship at the railway and gets paid to drive steam trains all day! He’s literally living his best life at 18 all thanks to an annoying little blue engine that nearly got banned in his house.

You can limit all you like but the characters will still filter in…

I hate Disney for lots of reasons (most irrational) and didn't have any Disney stuff in my house when the kids were little. They are boys which I suspect made this much easier. It was fine.

Disney own everything now so I don't know how successful I would be if I had a baby today. That said I hated the old Disney cartoons specifically so I don't think I would care as much.

As everybody else is saying raising hypothetical kids is much easier than actual ones. Even some of the stuff I did stick to with for number 1 I binned off off for number 2 (seriously, who can be arsed raising a second baby properly? I was so over it).

And honestly, ignore the crappy comments about how you don't have the ability or right to have an opinion until your child is here. EVERYONE has ideas about how they'll raise their child before they're born. Some stick to some decisions, some don't, some chuck them all out the window. There's no right or wrong. But I can't imagine you will ever find a parent who gave birth with zero plans around things like screens, toys, feeding, sleeping and so forth.

My best advice is (when you're ready) to read evidence-based parenting books so you can think ahead of time about the basics like feeding, sleeping, screens and so forth before you're in the thick of it. Weirdly we never planned to be screen free but it just felt for the best once we got to that point, I had no idea I'd feel so strongly about that. Feeding doesn't always work out the way you plan to (regardless of my own plans my body had other ideas). Sleep I just knew there was zero way I'd ever do anything but safe sleep and we stuck to it consistently. Be flexible but by all means put some thought into it ahead of time, it's nice to be prepared!

Hate this nonsense about how if you've not had a child you can't have an opinion. We've all been children. Some of the friends I trust most with going to about parenting advice are childfree because they don't have baked-in ideas about what they did with their child and are open minded enough to see us as individuals.

Oh, and see also:

• birth plans before you're in labour
• dummies
• no white noise
• cloth nappies
• no baby wipes

Best of luck!

I also think I briefly fancied one of them, back in the sleep-deprived days

God I feel sorry for new mums. What's with no white noise? What does that even mean?

Cloth nappies were literally an impossible dream when mine were born. I wouldn't even have known where to get them. I feel like for every problem the Internet solved it created 2.

Yeah you will manage quite easily I think for the first 2-3 years and then they will start to go there own way.

My advice - anything you ban completely is going to be wanted more. Maybe look at Pixar movies rather than Disney Princesses etc

DD is 13 and wore a Finding Dory t shirt yesterday and loves all things Disney and Pixar but is also a vegan who hates the idea of a tv in her room

Additionally OP, working in the early childhood sector you've probably got a better idea about childrearing and what you do and don't want to do than someone who's never spent much time around kids.

Do you mean for a baby or a 2/3 year old? Baby is possible, toddler it's a lot harder. And it negates the sheer joy a 3 year old gets on their face when someone buys them a Peppa tshirt as a gift- it's a very wholesome sight.

But I wanted to avoid the pink/ glitter/ girly rhetoric for my daughter, and I have. She wears all of those things, and very few characters, but in a rotation of every other colour and style. Some days it's dungarees, some days it's a dress. She's 3 next month though, and it's getting harder- the lure of the twirly dress is getting stronger, and cats are making a much more regular appearance!

We don’t do branded clothing because I don’t like it. We also don’t do any of the tv shows like Peppa, Paw Patrol, Cocomelon etc…

It isn’t that difficult to pick what you think is best/what annoys you least. We do some of the Disney movies, Tractor Ted, Peter Rabbit and she loves a nature documentary. My daughter’s Jessie doll from toy story goes everywhere with her and all of her rabbits are called different variations of rabbits in Peter Rabbit.

I mean, you can try. You might find when you have kids that you no longer care about.
The wiggles are great by the way, catchy songs and sometimes good messages in those. I had a bit of a crush on the red wiggle, Simon.

Motherhood sometimes doesn't look like what you think it will 🤣

Yeah….
um…

you’re definitely better off just picking the couple you hate and pushing what you can cope with. Peppa and Paw Patrol don’t get a look in here as I can’t stand them. Bluey, Dinosaur Train and Puffin Rock are ‘our’ favourites.

We've never done Disney or Peppa Pig or Bing etc.
We've also never done branded clothing - or didn't until DC were old enough to choose their own clothing. But even now I'd say they only have 1 or 2 items of branded clothes.

With our first he didn't watch TV until he was maybe 2, not that it was banned he just wasn't interested. Now he would sit and watch it all day long.

I don't think it makes a difference long term to be honest. If there are characters that you find annoying just avoid that show, not watching cocomelon isn't going to damage your child.

And while I'm sure there are parents out there that don't expose their children to screens at all, the only parents I've know who claimed not to have a TV and their kids never watched anything actually used to allow them to watch videos on a tablet from a young age. For some reason, allowing kids to watch TV shows on a tablet didn't actually count as their kids watching TV to them.

This is very funny OP, you just do what you want to do. When I was pregnant I just knew I would be taking my baby to the park every day, not watching any TV - we would be exploring nature, making stuff, I'd be home creating all food, obviously breastfeeding til he was 2, and it would be lovely.

So anyway a few months later and Cbeebies was our best friend and I used formula as I couldn't breastfeed, and there were a lot of food pouches used when weaning began. And it was great!

Life looks way different when you have extreme sleep deprivation, a postpartum body that might be hurting in ways you can't imagine right now, not a second to yourself to even pee, normal life demands still happening and a small human to keep alive! Stuff like not using clothes with a certain character or symbol on - that'll go out the window (you'll see why when your baby arrives).

I'd say about billion of us had the same ideas as you before birth but it usually doesn't pan out and that's ok!

YANBU OP

It's not mandatory to watch any of these. Do what you think is best for your future children

Disney is shit and all, but they own a lot of the media now. I think you’d find it very hard to ban them completely. Plus I don’t mind that my DD is into Frozen. I think it has a pretty good message compared to some of the Disney films of my youth. Do you not remember the excitement of certain movies when you were a kid? It would be a shame to be the only kid who hadn’t seen something.

I’m not a huge fan of branded merch either, but DD absolutely loves Peppa Pig and her face lit up when her grandma bought her some PP pyjamas. Was I supposed to give her a lecture on capitalism or just let her wear the bloody things? Life is too short and you should be able to enjoy stuff.

Also, Bluey is one of the best kids shows ever. It’s wholesome, there are no gender stereotypes and it shows kids having amazing imaginative adventures using basic things.

First, I’m afraid I unashamedly judge people who use the noun “baby” without the definite article.

Second, I (like many PPs) was a very judgy childless person. Then my son turned up and he’s super high octane energetic with a hot temper (even for a 3 year old) which he has inherited from - you guessed it - me. I then realised how hard being a parent can be. If he wants to watch Paw Patrol, so be it. There are bigger hills to die on.

That makes me sad.
Sunday evenings after baths was the best time ever as we’d snuggle up and watch a Disney movie.
My DD is now a teen and we still love a good Disney movie I hope to one day afford to go to Disney world.

We all want you be good parents and that comes with having discipline and boundaries.
But there’s a fine line between having boundaries and being a control freak.

Many parents let their children watch squid game or IT.
I didn’t let my DD watch them but I have no issues with her watching the Simpson’s, Disney, playing computer games etc.

You need to find a compromise.
I’m sure you will once you actually have kids and learn that they’re not robots.

You always plan to be the parent you want to be.

You'll be the parent you have to be

If you have kids that don't mind having no clue what their friends are talking about in social situations and you are the type of parent who doesn't need to plonk them in front of the TV for a break then brilliant!

Reality isn't like that for most people

I hate it when people put their weird baggage onto their children. It makes their lives less pleasant and more difficult for no good reason.

There's a whole community of screen-free parents on FB!

Personally we didn't really have a goal other than to get to over two before introducing screens, once he was two and a few months we started with 5-10 a few days per week. But some people do it until 5, 6 and beyond!

I've had similar ideas. My daughter loves Duggee, Elmo, Bluey, Arthur and the dancing Youtube fruit saved my sanity when she was tiny.