WIBU to not allow popular kids characters/music in the house?

[Elilanna]

No kids yet, but I'm hoping to have them in the near-ish future, work in the early childhood sector and have a young niece and nephew so I'm quite aware of what's popular with the little ones these days, but I'm personally not a fan and would rather not expose my own children to any of that media, at least not when they're very small - but I've heard a lot of criticism of this approach, that "only crunchy hippie mums do that!" and "it's part of our culture, you're depriving them of an important part of childhood!" Specifically I'd be avoiding Disney, Cocomelon, and the Wiggles, and even things I don't mind wouldn't be on baby's clothes & other belongings as I don't believe in turning your child into free advertising for a popular brand. I'm otherwise not very "hippie" or "crunchy", this is just the one thing where I'd like to limit their exposure.

So... tell me I'm not the only one who wants to do this?

Sorry to echo other posters but I too had ideas about how I would parent prior to having children. I work in secondary education and was quite firm in what I wanted or didn’t want.

2 DDs later (1 & 3) and they both know what they like - they have strong preferences when it comes to clothes, nursery rhymes, games, toys, books, food etc. I agree with some and not with others.

They love Peppa, Cocomelon, Ben & Holly, Frozen, Paw Patrol etc! I have learnt to pick my battles and do indulge their preferences when it suits. Like others have said, some days are about survival especially between 4pm-7pm when It is dinner time, bath time and bed time in quick succession and I want to avoid the house looking like we have just been burgled!

It is great to have ideas about how you want to parent prior to the event BUT if this is truly the route you want to take you may be making a rod for your own back - play dates with other kids will mean that they get exposed to these characters; birthday parties and even in preschool. My DD attends a private pre prep and they watch Peppa, Ben and Holly, Topsy & Tim, Rainbow Ruby at home time.
It may also isolate your children from their peers as they grow up - I know it shouldn’t but we all know that things happen which shouldn’t.

(written with kindness)

DD liked Disney but the films like Dumbo, Aristocats. We're not big fans of clothes with logos.

DS wouldn't even watch TV despite me trying to get him to sit down for 20 mins to chill. However the one thing he would watch was Peppa Pig. He never liked any character things. He does now like YouTube though so I don't know what is worse.

We don't have TV on unless we're watching it. I think you can bring things into the house without them taking over.

Agree with others that it's hard to judge these things. I think the teenage years will be harder tho!

You're not being unreasonable. You have every right to decide what your children watch and wear. However, you're making decisions without all of the information. Until you actually have kids, you shouldn't make any hard and day rules. My oldest will be 3 in a few weeks. There are many shows he likes to watch and he's incredibly smart and well balanced. He's potty training now, and one of the main ways we were able to get him excited about it were the Bluey underwear we got him. Just keep an open mind when your actually get there.

Disney and Pixar films are actually really great. Lots of lovely songs, good messages and as an adult pretty watchable.

I had lots of ideas about how I would be as a parent. But you quickly change your views for an easier, happier life for all.

Mummy...I was never going to let my boys play with toy guns. So they bit their toast into gun shapes and shot each other that way. Good luck OP.

Much of it is actually pretty good.
We have differing views - that’s ok
I find it weird that many don’t apply critical thinking to children’s tv. But that’s ok too

As you'll see from even a cursory read of this thread, that is rubbish.

This is just a thread on Mumsnet - a fraction of the population. It’s not indicative of all. To say children have an inability to develop their own tastes - that sounds and is tosh. They are not born as identikit cloned kids with a predetermined love for the same things - but I think you know that anyway. Different cultures demonstrate this point quite clearly. Family/friends/school circle do have a part to play.

I did not condemn all pop culture. I said much of it….especially when it’s drip fed.

No not mummy, just a thoughtful Mmmm.....

Honestly, you may gave a plan hut you have to wait and see how things go when you have kids… i had decided a lot of things before baby was born and a good number of them have became null 🫣

See, I was the weird kid at school, 50 years ago now. Free school meals, single parent, no TV, lefty politics, no inside toilet, no Enid Blyton, no Barbie... My mum insisted that we should rebel against mainstream culture and partly as a result we were oddballs. (She had been a lonely oddball child too.)

I had my children as a lesbian mother. One of my children is white and one black. One is adopted. We live in the suburbs. So I knew they would be 'different' and was determined not to exacerbate that. So they were allowed to wear all the pink they wanted, watch crappy TV, enjoy all the earth-polluting crazes.

I'm not saying there were no limits - they were always exposed to alternative choices and they definitely got exposed to my values - but I think as a parent you have to accept your child will need to negotiate their peers, and usually they want to fit in. I don't think my job was to make it harder for my kids to fit in, though I did always try to help them stay true to themselves (accepting that they are a different person to me).

What would have made my parenting life easier would have been if the nice mums of this area had been a little less focused on what their kids were eating, watching and wearing, and a bit more on top of how their little angels lived their values.

Sorry if that sounds bitter. I'm not, really. My kids are great and have plenty of friends. My point is really that you won't get any argument from me if you ban Disney. But understand that raising a child is less about building a micro-climate for them and more about helping them negotiate the world.

We have differing views - that’s ok
I find it weird that many don’t apply critical thinking to children’s tv.

Well what do you consider to be good children's tv then? I find it odd that adults don't think a bit harder about the target audience for this material. Success here is not appealing to adults.

This is just a thread on Mumsnet - a fraction of the population. It’s not indicative of all.

I don't think 'my child watched something at a friends house / nursery' is particularly unrepresentative as a practice, to be fair.

To say children have an inability to develop their own tastes - that sounds and is tosh.

Goid job I never said that then, hmm?

They are not born as identikit cloned kids with a predetermined love for the same things

Again, no one said they did. It's vey clear from this thread that children find their own specific favourites within the wider offering.

raising a child is less about building a micro-climate for them and more about helping them negotiate the world.

I couldn't agree more. Wise words there for any parent.

If i were you, id reserve judgement on parenting until you're a parent yourself

I wish people would stop saying ‘plastic tat’ - you mean your childrens prized possessions.

I completely understand not wanting to have too many toys, but it’s horrible to refer to any one’s belongings as tat.

When you're trying to wrestle a headstrong 3 year old into some clothes for nursery and you are running late.

Not wearing that. Don't like it

How about the Peppa t-shirt?

Oh yes please mummy. Great! Job done

My job is to research and consider the consumption and impact of pop culture ( amongst other things) on it’s target audience, young and old. I do think about it.

You originally call my view out as rubbish. That’s fine. I’m not here to convince you of it. My view is to expose children to a range of things early on. That was my advice to the OP.

My job is to research and consider the consumption and impact of pop culture ( amongst other things) on it’s target audience, young and old. I do think about it.

This

But if you can live up to the ambitions then I admire you and YANBU

Shit I don't know what's happening to my posts today.

My job is to research and consider the consumption and impact of pop culture ( amongst other things) on it’s target audience, young and old. I do think about it.

I'd be interested in your methodology here, how are you accessing the views of the kids themselves for example?

My view is to expose children to a range of things early on. That was my advice to the OP.

I don't think anyones disagreeing with you there. Just that banning The Wiggles/Teletubbies/Hey Duggee is an odd policy, particularly when the OP isn't even pregnant.

User48 has the best reply.
As a parent and grandparent I am laughing my head off 🤣. I have heard similar stories from about-to-be parents. Two years down the line, it’s a different story. If you get through the first 2 years safely, happily and sane it’s a major achievement. Good luck.

Make sure they're not isolated.

We have mostly done this. We don't buy clothes with characters on. They still choose their own cool clothes (reversible sequin tops being the current favourite). Same with toys. We have plenty of cars for example, but no Paw Patrol ones.

DCs watch bit of TV but not loads. Maybe 30 mins 3 times a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. It has only been very recently (DCs age 6 and 3) that they have control of the remote, so previously we have chosen what they watch. We put on kids programmes but steer towards the ones we prefer. Current favourites are Number blocks, Topsy and Tim, Go Jetters.

For me it was " my baby will never have a dummy, disgusting things ". I lasted a couple of weeks. He had colic .

What will you do when they are at school and they get an end of term treat to watch a movie in class and it’s something on your no list? Pull them out? They’ll end up being singled out from their peers. I can understand you wanting to limit these things (although we love Disney in this house, such rebels!) but it may not be realistic to completely shield them from everything.

Also, my girls love their LOL Surprise and Ariel PJs, and I don’t think it’s doing them any harm at all 🤷🏻‍♀️

So far I’ve got away with my DD not having character clothing, and we don’t have much tv time. But she’s around other children a lot and see’s cocomelon etc and so we watch some of it at home as she enjoys it. I don’t think you should ban or avoid kids characters, and I am crunchy/hippie!

I was the child of someone who thought this way. I grew up isolated from my peers culturally which made making friends and sustaining relationships relationships difficult as I didn't have the same reference points. I didn't catch up until I was in my early twenties. This was the time before YouTube though so maybe your hypothetical children will not be as unfortunate as I.