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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to not allow popular kids characters/music in the house?

533 replies

Elilanna · 09/08/2022 07:37

No kids yet, but I'm hoping to have them in the near-ish future, work in the early childhood sector and have a young niece and nephew so I'm quite aware of what's popular with the little ones these days, but I'm personally not a fan and would rather not expose my own children to any of that media, at least not when they're very small - but I've heard a lot of criticism of this approach, that "only crunchy hippie mums do that!" and "it's part of our culture, you're depriving them of an important part of childhood!" Specifically I'd be avoiding Disney, Cocomelon, and the Wiggles, and even things I don't mind wouldn't be on baby's clothes & other belongings as I don't believe in turning your child into free advertising for a popular brand. I'm otherwise not very "hippie" or "crunchy", this is just the one thing where I'd like to limit their exposure.

So... tell me I'm not the only one who wants to do this?

OP posts:
GirlInACountrySong · 09/08/2022 14:15

Elilanna · 09/08/2022 10:02

Okay, replace American with Hollywood if that's the issue - it's the mass produced, mass marketed stuff with lots of merchandise that I take issue with. I was raised in an unconventional family, not "crunchy" per se but definitely not typical, my dad was also discouraged from watching anything in that vein growing up, so it's a bit of a family tradition for me.

And what about the father of these imaginary kids??

What if he grew up loving Minnie/mickey or whatever??

apintortwo · 09/08/2022 14:58

Peppa is banned here. Gobby little madam deserves a trip to the butcher

😂

Patsy400 · 09/08/2022 15:04

😂 oh dear, you’re in for a bit of a shock when you have kids. You’ll be thanking your lucky fucking stars for those “admittedly” tedious kids programs, just to have 10 minutes to yourself.
Good luck 😉

SunshineLollipopsRainbow · 09/08/2022 15:04

I said this before having my son and I'm pleased to say we have followed it through. There are plenty of lovely clothes available without having cartoon characters all over them.
Pepp pig is my worst I've, can't stand her.

apintortwo · 09/08/2022 15:04

Okay, replace American with Hollywood if that's the issue - it's the mass produced, mass marketed stuff with lots of merchandise that I take issue with

Well, Disney have not been on their best behaviour according to some and seem to have form for getting embroiled in political activisim. So perhaps you have a point OP

www.ft.com/content/e4e84eac-8502-4a7f-b51b-c372752b4b38

ashitghost · 09/08/2022 15:06

Lol

PurpleFlower1983 · 09/08/2022 15:06

Decide once you’re a parent.

Endlesslypatient82 · 09/08/2022 16:00

I’ve being a mum, really enjoy and love it.

and I think a big part of this is that I set NO “standards” for myself before having children.

so I didn’t think “I definitely want a birth with no pain relief”, and I felt no pride or sadness when with my first I did and second i didn’t.

i didn’t think I was desperate to breastfeed. And I suspect my very relaxed approach meant I didn’t have any issues. When I go recurring mastitis at 6 months I jacked it in with no guilt at all. M

and the same approach I apply as my children / teens go older.

op - you are setting yourself up for disappointment, with yourself

Endlesslypatient82 · 09/08/2022 16:01

I love being a mum I meant to write

apintortwo · 09/08/2022 16:06

What does crunchy mean????

Extreme boho, save the planet, gentle hands, no plastic, cultural capital, cotton or wool, dungaree, vegan, etc

MolkosTeenageAngst · 09/08/2022 16:18

I would want to avoid these things too and wouldn’t be introducing my baby/ young toddler to TV characters I don’t like or buying clothes with for example Peppa Pig or Minnie Mouse on. But ultimately children are their own people and at some point they are going to be introduced to these things in a situation outside of your control such as nursery, friends/ family, school etc. I wouldn’t refuse to buy my child an outfit with characters on if they were old enough to express a preference for it, banning something will probably only make it seem more alluring!

Of course you can bring your children up how you like but I wouldn’t make too many assumptions about what kind of parent you’ll be until you actually have a child. All kids are different so you might envisage things one way but the reality might end up being very different and children have their own personalities, just because you imagine a child who is into for example nature, animals and crafting doesn’t mean you won’t get one who is into Frozen, Princesses and dress up. I also recognise that it’s easy to say as a non-parent you won’t let these things around your children but that the reality when you’re sleep deprived and toddler is tantrumming for the tenth time that day I might feel different and that if things like Cocomelon gives 15 minutes of peace it might suddenly seem less annoying to put it on than to face another tantrum!

Starlight86 · 09/08/2022 16:24

Awwwwwwww OP

I WAS YOU!!!

I remember it so well, the hopes and dreams i had as a parent and how judgy ( not saying your judgy) i was. I really do laugh at my younger self.

Now im 3 deep just trying to make it through the days ensuring they are healthy, happy, well fed and well rounded children.

Currently baby shark and peppa pig are FIRM faves in our house.

On another note, I cant seem to fathom your reason behind it?, are you happy to let them watch "non popular" programs?

user58486267489 · 09/08/2022 16:25

I had the same sort of ideas as you. I did stick to no character clothes (although my children didn’t care what they wore when little) and now they’re a bit older I don’t buy them clothes with Xbox/Minecraft etc stuff on them either. Basically I have always preferred clothes with no label so that includes everything from peppa pig to designers.

cbeebies is brilliant, mainly educational and I don’t regret letting my children watch quite a lot of it. They didn’t watch other channels but did watch dvds a bit. Really can’t bare most of the other childrens channels with the endless adverts and gormless crap.

Kindofcrunchy · 09/08/2022 16:25

I'm a pretty crunchy parent and alas, paw patrol is regularly on our TV. You do what you need to do to stay sane, and not throw toddler out the window. Grin

boingy · 09/08/2022 16:28

It's best to make these decisions once you're a parent.
Sometimes you just need a minute and these characters on tv and iPads are the only ones that allow you to have time to have a brew and do some washing up.
My first DS was obsessed with Bing. I hated bing the spoiled little brat - but I used to actually quite enjoy some stuff like Ben and Holly.

Starlight86 · 09/08/2022 16:30

boingy · 09/08/2022 16:28

It's best to make these decisions once you're a parent.
Sometimes you just need a minute and these characters on tv and iPads are the only ones that allow you to have time to have a brew and do some washing up.
My first DS was obsessed with Bing. I hated bing the spoiled little brat - but I used to actually quite enjoy some stuff like Ben and Holly.

Ahh Ben and Holly, one of my personal faves!

HiggidyPiggedy · 09/08/2022 16:30

Just to add another perspective on this, my dad was the same as you OP, he refused to let us watch anything that was popular with other kids, hated anything American, sniffily disapproved and mocked us for wearing branded stuff etc.

I'm currently in therapy for chronic low self esteem as I was brought up to believe if I liked something that my dad disapproved of then I was less 'worthy', stupid, frivolous and a crowd follower. I am nearly 40 and have some major issues with allowing myself to be 'me' all of which stems from a childhood of being told I couldn't do or watch anything popular as it made me stupid.

Please let your kids like what they like and be themselves and don't make them feel bad for it.

Eloise791 · 09/08/2022 16:54

apintortwo · 09/08/2022 16:06

What does crunchy mean????

Extreme boho, save the planet, gentle hands, no plastic, cultural capital, cotton or wool, dungaree, vegan, etc

Sounds quite good then.

BellePeppa · 09/08/2022 22:41

I never gave stuff like children’s telly or character t shirts a nano second of thought when I was expecting. I just had my children and played it by ear. If they liked a kid’s programme they could watch it, if they liked a character t shirt they could have it (cost depending), what’s the big deal🤷‍♀️

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 07:44

Eloise791 · 09/08/2022 16:54

Sounds quite good then.

Show quote history

but with an undercurrent of extreme and overwhelming snugness and judgement against those that do not follow suit.

Quia · 10/08/2022 07:54

I will be forever grateful for the hours of pleasure Thomas the Tank Engine gave both DSs. It wasn't just the TV programmes, it was the books, and loads of construction play in building railway set-ups etc, and visits to heritage railways leading to an interest both in history and engineering. They both grew up absolutely fine, DS1 ending up with a degree in English, so it clearly did no harm whatsoever.

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 07:59

Quia · 10/08/2022 07:54

I will be forever grateful for the hours of pleasure Thomas the Tank Engine gave both DSs. It wasn't just the TV programmes, it was the books, and loads of construction play in building railway set-ups etc, and visits to heritage railways leading to an interest both in history and engineering. They both grew up absolutely fine, DS1 ending up with a degree in English, so it clearly did no harm whatsoever.

I used to love curling up with my two on a rainy cold Jan in front of Thomas the Tank Engine. Lovely memories

FilthyforFirth · 10/08/2022 08:13

As many have said it's all well and good parenting your hypothetical children to perfection. The reality is very different.

I was, and still am, militantly against screens. I'm fine with TV but my children dont have a tablet, use my phone, gaming consoles etc. However my eldest is 5 and youngest 1, we are about to do a 9 hour plane journey. The baby couldnt care less abput the TV so there goes bribing him with a screen. We have got the 5 yo a tablet and he has no idea how to use it and little time for it...

Best paid plans and all that... I probably shouldnt have been as strict as I have been

FreezyFreezy · 10/08/2022 17:08

Has anyone else seen Mickey Flanagan talk about watching Thomas and ending up liking it? That was me when my dc were little. Now that they're older they don't watch so much TV; instead they watch YouTube, play Minecraft or play out!

PugInTheHouse · 10/08/2022 17:30

This is possibly one of the strangest things I've read on MN. Seriously, a balance of anything is fine, my kids grew up watching Disney, loved the Wiggles, had some of the clothes/toys etc. They watched lots of other things as well, I couldn't stand the Wiggles but even suffered to take them to the live show. They go through phases of what they like and there is nothing offensive about any of it (other than to my ears but it's not all about me). They wear the tshirts because they like the characters.

Just a shame we can't let kids be kids and like what they like anymore without there being so much to it. My DS1 loved disney but also preferred what is considered 'boys' toys, DS2 loved all that but absolutely adored My Little Ponies also and dress up in disney princess costumes. I just let them get on with it, if they wanted a pink water beaker they had it, if they wanted the most masculine one on the shelf then they had that. None of it is a big deal IMO.