WIBU to not allow popular kids characters/music in the house?

[Elilanna]

No kids yet, but I'm hoping to have them in the near-ish future, work in the early childhood sector and have a young niece and nephew so I'm quite aware of what's popular with the little ones these days, but I'm personally not a fan and would rather not expose my own children to any of that media, at least not when they're very small - but I've heard a lot of criticism of this approach, that "only crunchy hippie mums do that!" and "it's part of our culture, you're depriving them of an important part of childhood!" Specifically I'd be avoiding Disney, Cocomelon, and the Wiggles, and even things I don't mind wouldn't be on baby's clothes & other belongings as I don't believe in turning your child into free advertising for a popular brand. I'm otherwise not very "hippie" or "crunchy", this is just the one thing where I'd like to limit their exposure.

So... tell me I'm not the only one who wants to do this?

Okay, replace American with Hollywood if that's the issue - it's the mass produced, mass marketed stuff with lots of merchandise that I take issue with. I was raised in an unconventional family, not "crunchy" per se but definitely not typical, my dad was also discouraged from watching anything in that vein growing up, so it's a bit of a family tradition for me.

This reminds me of that Tiktok account of Werner Herzog sad beige toys

I had similar views before kids. Along with only wearing organic cotton clothes and only playing with wooden toys. Reality was completely different!

Are you going to be passing your xenophobia down to your imaginary children?

Hilarious you think it's only American media companies targeting young children. Not so hilarious your child could miss out on something joyful because 'nothing American in this house'

I think you are over thinking. I never bought branded stuff for my son as it was too expensive and we never watched Disney, cocomelon or the wiggles because we just never did. Not because we were making a point about anything or trying to live a certain life. Just pick the things you like and watch, wear, read, whatever them. Don't do things because you think you should and don't worry about not doing things you think other people think you should! Do whatever you like.

Compromise, OP, is the name of the game. My kids didn't have too much screen time and then only Cbeebies (or Milkshake for Peppa), no other paid for channels like Sky or Disney or anything. I think we went out and explored more than some of their friends. They didn't watch Disney until older (mostly because I wanted them to have the concentration span and understanding to watch a whole film properly rather than getting bored after 15 minutes). They didn't get any electronics until around age 10ish and I don't think they suffered. HOWEVER to deprive your kids of the most basic childhood currency such as superheroes, dress-ups etc is unnecessary and honestly a bit damaging socially. My boys were so happy dressing up as Sporticus from Lazytown and leaping around doing stunts with their friends and I can't see how it harmed them. A mum friend put me onto Peppa Pig as we had never seen it and I loved it - and so did the children. It's funny, and educational. I also said no guns or weapons and actually my boys have never been massively into fighting, but they did pick up sticks and use them as pretend guns, and they do like paintball and computer games now, within reason. I can assure you they are lovely, gentle young men and not psychopaths.

I'm surprised he finds time for a side hustle

Bonkers, sorry!

I have loads of plans of being the perfect parent like my mum was/is, buuuuut she was a stay at home mother and I’ll be working full time after maternity leave, so I can imagine most of my fantasies of a screen free child will go down the drain fairly quickly. 😹

Your view will almost certainly change. Why are you bothering to have a stance on this before you have children? Your child will notice (even in nursery), that if they don't recognise popular characters they will be left out of chit chatter. That's quite sad imo.

you sound a bit overly concerned about this seeing as you’ve thought about it well before actually having any kids.. I think there’s a lot to be gained from stories, characters and building imagination. You can still have a healthy limit imo. Good luck! X

I don't think it's bad to want to have some boundaries around what your kids watch; mine are no YouTube (Ryan's World/Blippi/unboxing etc), Cocomelon (it's irritating), or age inappropriate content. They mostly watch CBeebies and Disney+. I tend not to have character clothing either, although that's a bit harder as we often get secondhand bundles. Why wouldn't you have boundaries around what your kids watch and do online?

I would also add that screen free is detrimental to the way we live now. Not necessarily TV, but the ability to use touch screens, navigate technology etc is an essential skill. You'd be negligent if you didn't expose your child to this from a fairly young age.

All I can offer is that I was raised by deeply religious parents, who banned almost everything that they deemed "unacceptable". It left me isolated from my peers and marked me out as "weird", as @CrossStitch87 said. Even teachers picked up on it. It was very, very difficult. Some of those difficulties have pursued me into independent adulthood.

It's cruel to stifle a child's imagination and "ban" them from things they enjoy in innocence. Your motives might be well-intentioned but a small child can't understand the higher concepts behind them. But they WILL remember things like being the only child in their class who wasn't allowed to go to Amy's "Little Mermaid" birthday party.

This.

But as far as clothes go that’s quite easy. None of my dgc have grown up wearing free advertising. Both DDs dead against it.

Wooden toys are beautiful - but if you have a child going through the throwing stage (where do they get this accuracy from) - plastic tat flies less well and hurts less.

My brother was revulsed by my kids knowing TV characters (and you're missing a treat if you skip out on Duggee cos it's epic) and having plastic toys... now his child is hitting toddler age - his standards are plummeting rapidly.

I did try to ban Peppa Pig (I conceded Ben and Holly cos that's bloody funny as an adult) but they picked it up from nursery anyway. Likewise - good luck if you have them going through lower Juniors at a peak Disney film age - there was NO CHANCE of avoiding bloody Encanto last year!

Like many others, I was an amazing parent before I actually had kids 😂

We avoided a lot of it for a long time really, and continue to manage to avoid a lot through home educating as our friendship circle aren't really interested in certain popular things and my eldest doesn't have the exposure at school, but we do still have to put up with cocomelon, Blaze, pokemon, bluey, blippi and similar. We've not graduated to Disney stuff yet as 5yo finds it all terrifying. I'm sure we'll get there eventually.

I am a mother to an adult with autism. He fixated on certain TV shows and still is. I brought him so much joy and taught him many skills with he would have struggled with if taught a different way (yes we tried) If I hadn't have been this programme he would have fixated on something else just like your brother would have. The Wiggles have done huge amounts of work helping disabled kids so in my mind as an mum going through that he fixated on the right thing. To deny a child because of this is crazy. I also have much younger children (now teens) who loved the same programme but never fixated on the same way as their brother. Your brother fixation is due to his disability, don't deny your children because of this, they are different childre completely.

My DCs are adults now. Ask DD for her best memory as a child and she usually comes up with the time she met Bear from Bear in the Big Blue House! DSs memory was a day out on a heritage railway for a “Thomas” day. Great family times have been had at EuroDisney. DS and I (he’s 19) sat and watched the Lightyear film last week - great Mum & Son time.

OP don’t set yourself up for a fall before you’re even a Mum.

IMO children whose parents impose strice rules like this based on their own daft ideologies find it harder to make friends and fit in as they don't have the same common ground to share with other children. Why make it hard for them?

One DD went full on Disney princess but was over it by the age of 6. She's now 17, got a raft of 9s and 8s at GCSE and will go to university next year, and wants to qualify into a traditionally male-dominated profession/field. I can't see that it has done her any harm. Younger DD was never as bothered, loves gaming with her friends but is also massively sporty and active.

No idea why characters are bad...genuinely.

I blessed the time that ours were old enough to go downstairs alone and could turn the TV on themselves! However, I never put them in character clothes, loathed them, my concession was they had character duvet covers.

When ds was little he struggled with reading (dyslexic problems) and his main incentive to read was Pokémon so he could play the game. We also used to play alphabet games like name a Pokémon beginning with "a" etc.
Never bothered me if they wore tshirts with their favourite characters . Not sure what harm OP really thinks it will do?
Both DC are kind , caring and have good careers, it really never did them any harm. DS at 26 still likes Pokemon!

I had this sort of lunacy too before DC.

wooden toys only, no tv, no characters, no sugar, no McDonald’s

It was a complete waste of time. Don’t let it occupy your headspace @Elilanna

Embarrassingly, in 2012 I was on the pregnancy boards on Mumsnet coming up with all these silly ideals (name changed since then!) and I look back at it and laugh at myself.

Nothing brings you back to planet Earth and real life more than having a child.

Worst still, I actually worked for Frugi at the time and Organic Cotton was like a religion to me.

He’s 8 now and playing in his bedroom with Lego wearing a t shirt and short set from Asda…. Listening to old skool Gorillaz

I was so uptight back then 😳