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Original poster

What would you think if this was your cafe?

123 replies

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 19:21

I was so embarrassed today! DP thinks it's fine but I don't! He thinks it was ok as we ordered more drinks.

So, today my DP and I went to a cafe with my DMIL and DP's nephew. We all ordered a drink. DP has finished his drink then ordered another. DN finished his drink and said he was going to get a drink from the bakery next door and asked if anyone wanted anything. DMIL said she'd have a tea. So DN got them and they both sat at the café drinking their drinks from next door! DP was still drinking his drink and as I'd finished my drink I ordered another too. I felt so embarrassed. But hoped the fact DP and I still had drinks from the cafe counted for something!

There were other tables free and all are the same size, but I still don't think it's on! Should I apologise next time we go in? We go in there regularly!

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 23:32

Cedricsmum · 08/08/2022 23:19

I was disgusted today. Sitting upstairs in a local coffee shop, a family came in, settled themselves at a table and proceeded to unpack and eat a McDonalds. Just one of the party had a cup of coffee from the coffee shop. I just sat there open mouthed. It’s not very often I’m rendered speechless 😶

Oh my goodness!

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 23:35

bellac11 · 08/08/2022 20:18

Reading the OP I assumed the nephew was an adult

You dont police other adults behaviour, you can advise them that you cant drink other establishment's drinks at the cafe but you cant 'tell him not to do it'

Show quote history

Yes, he's an adult.

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 08/08/2022 23:36

My in-laws do this sort of thing all the time. Thank God they live a long way away and I don’t have to be around them too often. Last time we visited them we stayed in a B & B. We were telling them the breakfast was really good and the owner jokingly said they could come for breakfast the next morning. We all laughed but they actually did turn up for breakfast with no plan to pay for it.
The owner was so polite they wouldn’t take any payment from me since they had “invited” the in laws to breakfast. I had to leave a big tip when we checked out 🥴

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 23:36

Benjispruce4 · 08/08/2022 23:31

Not sure how old nephew is but I’d have told him it wasn’t the done thing and to wait until you al left.

Well by the time I knew he was going to do something that wasn't the done thing, he'd already done it!

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 23:37

Twiglets1 · 08/08/2022 23:36

My in-laws do this sort of thing all the time. Thank God they live a long way away and I don’t have to be around them too often. Last time we visited them we stayed in a B & B. We were telling them the breakfast was really good and the owner jokingly said they could come for breakfast the next morning. We all laughed but they actually did turn up for breakfast with no plan to pay for it.
The owner was so polite they wouldn’t take any payment from me since they had “invited” the in laws to breakfast. I had to leave a big tip when we checked out 🥴

I love this one! Makes my story seem very mild! 😆

OP posts:
Arenanewbie · 08/08/2022 23:40

It’s wrong but I would let it go, I wouldn’t talk to him or to the cafe owner unless asked. Just be more assertive next time when you are out and about with him

doyourememberwhen · 08/08/2022 23:41

It's a non event, OP, just write it off.

Could just as easily be reading a thread from your DN about how annoying it was you insist they visit the expensive cafe when you know he was on a low income, and even when he told you he was going next door you insisted on staying there and even ordered more drinks.

Total non event.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 23:42

Arenanewbie · 08/08/2022 23:40

It’s wrong but I would let it go, I wouldn’t talk to him or to the cafe owner unless asked. Just be more assertive next time when you are out and about with him

Social interactions are a bit difficult for me, unfortunately!

OP posts:
AlexandriasWindmill · 08/08/2022 23:43

I think it's quite common when it's outdoor seating tbh and think it's strange that you would have sat at the table whilst they sat on a bench.
They weren't taking seats from paying customers and the cafe (if they thought about it at all) will have assumed they wanted something unavailable from the cafe.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 23:44

doyourememberwhen · 08/08/2022 23:41

It's a non event, OP, just write it off.

Could just as easily be reading a thread from your DN about how annoying it was you insist they visit the expensive cafe when you know he was on a low income, and even when he told you he was going next door you insisted on staying there and even ordered more drinks.

Total non event.

Yes, another poster made me realise that could have been what he was thinking! We were treating him to a drink but I can imagine him not wanting to take the pee by ordering a second drink. I'll blame my DP for ordering a 2nd drink in the first place!

OP posts:
Idontknowwhattothink · 08/08/2022 23:45

I had a similar situation. SIL was visiting with her DC (so my husband's DNs). We invited them out to a very nice local restaurant that we go to quite regularly and often for special occasions.

SIL is a ferocious snob, very opinionated and usually highly (unintentionally?) offensive with it.

After we had finished our main courses her three children stood up as they'd heard of an amazing icecream sundae truck nearby. She gave them money. I assumed they would sit on a beach seat given it was still bright outside and we were presumably boring them.

Ten minutes later they all swanned back in, smiled at the hostess and proceeded to eat their giant sundaes at the table.

I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 23:47

AlexandriasWindmill · 08/08/2022 23:43

I think it's quite common when it's outdoor seating tbh and think it's strange that you would have sat at the table whilst they sat on a bench.
They weren't taking seats from paying customers and the cafe (if they thought about it at all) will have assumed they wanted something unavailable from the cafe.

I just wouldn't have felt right sitting at a cafe's table drinking a drink not from them. They had a tea and a coffee so not something unusual not available at the café!

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 23:49

Idontknowwhattothink · 08/08/2022 23:45

I had a similar situation. SIL was visiting with her DC (so my husband's DNs). We invited them out to a very nice local restaurant that we go to quite regularly and often for special occasions.

SIL is a ferocious snob, very opinionated and usually highly (unintentionally?) offensive with it.

After we had finished our main courses her three children stood up as they'd heard of an amazing icecream sundae truck nearby. She gave them money. I assumed they would sit on a beach seat given it was still bright outside and we were presumably boring them.

Ten minutes later they all swanned back in, smiled at the hostess and proceeded to eat their giant sundaes at the table.

I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

Oh no! 😳

OP posts:
Kattekit · 09/08/2022 00:07

I’d agree that it’s not on, you wouldn’t go for a pub lunch and be ok with half your party go to the chippy, then bringing it back and eat at the table in the pub. Probably asking for plates, cutlery and sauces - I mean why not?
Cafes are really struggling post Covid and behavior like this will be the end of some of them.

CanaryShoulderedThorn · 09/08/2022 00:14

Damn, I pressed the wrong voting button.
You are not brong unreasonable, they were very rude.

ToGanymedeAndTitan · 09/08/2022 00:16

That's well cheeky, you don't do that!
YANBU

Hawkins001 · 09/08/2022 00:38

@UndertheCedartree
Basically they took the biscuit.

Usually when I'm at x cafe,.I use their facilities, but I wouldn't go to cafe x for a drink to sit at cafe q.

DonnaBanana · 09/08/2022 02:00

Only an absolutely terrible proprietor would ask people to split up or leave if there wasn't a shortage of tables and everyone on a table had ordered something at some point from them (even if they then consumed something from somewhere else as well.) It's not as if they weren't customers.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 09/08/2022 14:14

Hawkins001 · 09/08/2022 00:38

@UndertheCedartree
Basically they took the biscuit.

Usually when I'm at x cafe,.I use their facilities, but I wouldn't go to cafe x for a drink to sit at cafe q.

Luckily there were no biscuits from the bakery involved!

OP posts:
marmb87 · 11/08/2022 22:07

incredibly rude

MyneighbourisTotoro · 11/08/2022 22:38

Seeing as you were all sitting outside I don’t actually see the issue.
You already ordered drinks from the cafe plus extras and they were sitting with you.
Its not something I’d get worked up over.

Solonge · 17/11/2022 15:01

My God….that’s like booking a table 8n a restaurant and bringing your own in…appalling! If it were my cafe…you would have been asked to leave and drink your drinks in the bakery.

Clymene · 17/11/2022 15:17

ZOMBIE

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