Page 3 | What would you think if this was your cafe?

UndertheCedartree · 2022-08-08T18:21:50+00:00

I was so embarrassed today! DP thinks it's fine but I don't! He thinks it was ok as we ordered more drinks. So, today my DP and I went to a cafe with my DMIL and DP's nephew. We all ordered a drink. DP has finished his drink then ordered another. DN finished his drink and said he was going to get a drink from the bakery next door and asked if anyone wanted anything. DMIL said she'd have a tea. So DN got them and they both sat at the café drinking their drinks from next door! DP was still drinking his drink and as I'd finished my drink I ordered another too. I felt so embarrassed. But hoped the fact DP and I still had drinks from the cafe counted for something! There were other tables free and all are the same size, but I still don't think it's on! Should I apologise next time we go in? We go in there regularly!

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:00

TwoMonthsOff · 08/08/2022 20:07

@Blinkingheckythump
I agree….probably saved a massive 45p !

I've just checked and he would have saved a pound. In all honesty he probably only just had enough for the drink from the bakery, but if I'd have known what they were going to do I would have just bought them both another drink from the cafe!

OP posts:

Johnnysgirl · 08/08/2022 22:02

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:00

I've just checked and he would have saved a pound. In all honesty he probably only just had enough for the drink from the bakery, but if I'd have known what they were going to do I would have just bought them both another drink from the cafe!

Show quote history

But her bought your mil a tea as well... How did he manage that when he was struggling to pay for his own?

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:02

StoneofDestiny · 08/08/2022 20:10

I can't believe you were not asked to leave.

Well, DP and I were drinking drinks from the cafe and go in there regularly so they probably didn't want to lose custom from us. But it wouldn't have bothered me if they'd asked DMIL and DN to leave!

OP posts:

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:04

OutnumberedByNone · 08/08/2022 20:11

So you bought 5 drinks from the cafe and then got two take away drinks to have? I don't see the issue with that. You still gave the cafe good business.

Were the two drinks something that wasn't available in the cafe or why did they get them from a different place?

We bought 6 drinks. I think they got them from the bakery as they were cheaper.

OP posts:

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:06

Penguinsaregreat · 08/08/2022 20:11

That is incredibly rude. Why didn’t your dh tell DN not to do it?

I don't know if he realised what he was going to do. But his opinion was that we were sitting at a table having our drinks anyway and so DMIL and DN weren't taking up an extra table. He thought the cafe would rather have us having another drink than all leave after only 1.

OP posts:

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:08

confusedlots · 08/08/2022 20:48

Oh wow I'd have been mortified! And would definitely have said something before they left to buy drinks from somewhere else!

I didn't think they would drink them at the table!

OP posts:

Johnnysgirl · 08/08/2022 22:09

DN finished his drink and said he was going to get a drink from the bakery next door and asked if anyone wanted anything
How could your dh "not realise what he was going to do"? 😂

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:10

redbigbananafeet · 08/08/2022 21:07

Why post and ten disappear for two hours? That's also rude.

Show quote history

I do apologise - sometimes life gets in the way of Mumsnet! Had a DC being sick so had to prioritise that, I'm afraid.

OP posts:

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:12

SirenSays · 08/08/2022 21:52

If it were my business? I wouldn't care as long as they aren't taking seating away from paying customers.

This is DP's point of view. At least someone agrees with him!

OP posts:

whynotwhatknot · 08/08/2022 22:12

very rude i cringe when i see others doing it b latantly pisstaking

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:14

Johnnysgirl · 08/08/2022 22:02

But her bought your mil a tea as well... How did he manage that when he was struggling to pay for his own?

Show quote history

He didn't - MIL paid for her own.

OP posts:

momager1 · 08/08/2022 22:14

maybe they were not taking up a table from a paying customer...but who do they and your DP think cleans up after them? also did they use the toilets? that water/ loo roll/ soap/ sanitizer does not pay for itself, nor does the water to clean up and flush and the person who cleans them. This is not your fault. If I were you I would just mention it to the staff next time you are in, don't apologize for them, as you did nothing wrong. Just say something along the lines of " I cannot BELIEVE they did that, and trust me, I won't be inviting them along with me again" If you are good regulars they will not hold against you, In fact, that is probably why they said nothing, as they didn't want to embarrass or upset you. Believe me..they DID talk about it behind the scenes

Scuttlingherbert · 08/08/2022 22:15

Jumpstark · 08/08/2022 20:51

I agree its rude, but not always. We've sometimes brought in food from another shop because my daughter has allergies.

I do this too, as I can't eat gluten. If the place has no gluten free options I have absolutely no qualms about eating something GF which I've brought. Obviously if there's somewhere nearby with GF options I'll go there instead, but sometimes there isn't.

I think everyone is being pretty melodramatic, especially if there were seats free and they had bought loads of drinks.

I'd love it if this was the biggest problem I had right now.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:16

Johnnysgirl · 08/08/2022 22:09

DN finished his drink and said he was going to get a drink from the bakery next door and asked if anyone wanted anything
How could your dh "not realise what he was going to do"? 😂

Well, I assumed DN and DMIL would sit on a public bench with their drinks - it just didn't occur to me they would drink them at the table!

OP posts:

Clymene · 08/08/2022 22:17

Cafes aren't public seating areas. If they don't do food or drink you like/can afford/can eat, go somewhere else.

No wonder small businesses are going under

drpet49 · 08/08/2022 22:18

Some people on here completely over exaggerating.

Johnnysgirl · 08/08/2022 22:18

Scuttlingherbert · 08/08/2022 22:15

I do this too, as I can't eat gluten. If the place has no gluten free options I have absolutely no qualms about eating something GF which I've brought. Obviously if there's somewhere nearby with GF options I'll go there instead, but sometimes there isn't.

I think everyone is being pretty melodramatic, especially if there were seats free and they had bought loads of drinks.

I'd love it if this was the biggest problem I had right now.

Show quote history

Why is it the cafe's problem that you can't eat gluten? If you can't eat what's on the menu you go elsewhere. Anyone with a trace of self awareness knows this.
They are not obliged to cater for you.
The absolute entitlement in your post

Earlymenopausesucks · 08/08/2022 22:26

Like you I would have been embarrassed but unfortunately you can’t control other peoples behaviour. I would probably offer a polite apology next time you were in ‘oh the in laws, how embarrassing’ kind of thing.

momager1 · 08/08/2022 22:28

Scuttlingherbert · 08/08/2022 22:15

I do this too, as I can't eat gluten. If the place has no gluten free options I have absolutely no qualms about eating something GF which I've brought. Obviously if there's somewhere nearby with GF options I'll go there instead, but sometimes there isn't.

I think everyone is being pretty melodramatic, especially if there were seats free and they had bought loads of drinks.

I'd love it if this was the biggest problem I had right now.

Show quote history

wow.. you would love it if that was your biggest problem right now? speaking for myself and several other restaurant owners that are friends, How would you really like to have our problems? Covid decimated our businesses and now costs are thru the roof. Our problems? Paying the bills. Keeping (in my case) 22 people employed full time and being able to pay them. Keeping fridges and freezers stocked fully, even though we may not sell it all in the next bit, but we cannot be out of anything. Keeping up with the rising cost of electricity. You know what does NOT pay that... someone bringing their own food or drink in , including allergies. If you are not sure if the restaurant can accomodate your requirements, then call ahead (ps...most will accomodate if they can) DO NOT bring your own food or drink into my restaurant. Beyond rude and entitled

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:30

momager1 · 08/08/2022 22:14

maybe they were not taking up a table from a paying customer...but who do they and your DP think cleans up after them? also did they use the toilets? that water/ loo roll/ soap/ sanitizer does not pay for itself, nor does the water to clean up and flush and the person who cleans them. This is not your fault. If I were you I would just mention it to the staff next time you are in, don't apologize for them, as you did nothing wrong. Just say something along the lines of " I cannot BELIEVE they did that, and trust me, I won't be inviting them along with me again" If you are good regulars they will not hold against you, In fact, that is probably why they said nothing, as they didn't want to embarrass or upset you. Believe me..they DID talk about it behind the scenes

I can imagine they did! 😳

OP posts:

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:32

Scuttlingherbert · 08/08/2022 22:15

I do this too, as I can't eat gluten. If the place has no gluten free options I have absolutely no qualms about eating something GF which I've brought. Obviously if there's somewhere nearby with GF options I'll go there instead, but sometimes there isn't.

I think everyone is being pretty melodramatic, especially if there were seats free and they had bought loads of drinks.

I'd love it if this was the biggest problem I had right now.

Show quote history

Well, yes me too! It's not my only problem, unfortunately!

OP posts:

momager1 · 08/08/2022 22:33

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:30

I can imagine they did! 😳

Show quote history

trust me... if you are a good regular, it was not you that they were talking about. they probably said nothing BECAUSE you are regulars and they didn't want to embarrass YOU..but they were def talking shit about the cafe goer

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:34

Earlymenopausesucks · 08/08/2022 22:26

Like you I would have been embarrassed but unfortunately you can’t control other peoples behaviour. I would probably offer a polite apology next time you were in ‘oh the in laws, how embarrassing’ kind of thing.

No, you can't can you? I'll do that.

OP posts:

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 08/08/2022 22:38

Clymene · 08/08/2022 22:17

Cafes aren't public seating areas. If they don't do food or drink you like/can afford/can eat, go somewhere else.

No wonder small businesses are going under

But as a small business owner would you have rather us buy 2 extra drinks (and the other 2 being cheeky) or us all leave after 1 drink. Because if you are looking at it just financially surely the first? This is DP's view because he is looking at it financially. I guess I'm looking at it from the 'etiquette' point of view.

OP posts:

deedledeedledum · 08/08/2022 22:41

Johnnysgirl · 08/08/2022 19:26

But hoped the fact DP and I still had drinks from the cafe counted for something!
No. It really didn't. Can't believe you're trying to put a positive spin on this.

The OP isn't trying to put a positive spin. The OP didn't do anything wrong Petal. Don't be horrible. The reason the OP posted is because they were embarrassed by the behaviour of the others.