To not make her go to dance camp

[partypingu]

DD is 5 and refusing to go to dance / drama day camp.

I feel completely miserable, it's the only summer activity I've planned for her (apart from a trip to the seaside last week). Apart from the wasted money I am upset that's she's just hanging about doing nothing.

She doesn't want to see her friends, or go to the park, just to play at home / watch TV.

I know rationally that's she's only 5 and probably just needs to chill out at home but honestly it's been 3 weeks since school ended and there's another 3 weeks to go and should I let her just hang about at home the whole time? I'm limiting TV and we are going swimming every day but other than that she's doing absolutely nothing.

Her behaviour otherwise is excellent but I'm worried about her refusal to engage with anything / anyone.

I know I could force her to go but it feels wrong to make a 5 year old do a day long activity if they don't want to. Of course she would probably love it if she did go.

Can anyone talk some sense into me? If you are a more experienced parent can you tell me if any of this matters? I've lost perspective.

What's up with her? Is she not feeling well? Not sleeping well in the heat? Being picked on by older children at the camp? Is she enjoying herself when she's there?

If there's nothing wrong, I'd be taking her anyway as long as she's not being disruptive at the camp.

Yes you’ve lost money but she doesn’t want to go. If you’ve tried ‘go for a morning and if you don’t like it I’ll come and get you. But honestly sometimes they just want a bit of peace and quiet and to Potter and do their own thing. Don’t you!

Just leave her be. What's wrong with chilling at home for the entire summer hols? I can't understand anyone forcing a child to do an activity they don't want
to do.

She's absolutely fine. First day of camp so she can't be being picked on or have any other reason to refuse other than just wanting to be at home.

I am a massive homebody and could easily spend 3 weeks pottering at home so that's part of my conflict - I relate to her feelings completely.

I know I just need to make peace with her not going or make peace with forcing her to go.

But for some reason I feel over the edge with it. I think I'm a loving parent but I'm not confident with it at all.

She's 5, she doesn't have enough life experience to know if she's going to like it. Take her to the dance camp and see now she gets on. She'll probably love it.

I'd still send her. She has an entire summer to potter at home. This isn't sending her to the gulag, it's a nice way to spend a day - take her and see how she gets on.

She’s 5. Plenty of time for busy holidays when she’s older. Make the most of the expense-free time at home.

Already paid for so not expense free sadly

My 5 year old has been quite resistant to doing stuff as well this holiday, but I've said she can't spend all 6 weeks doing nothing! I try and make sure that there is a good split of home days and activity days, but I do make her try the stuff I've planned. She really kicked up a fuss about visiting a farm last week, but loved it once we were there and kicked up a fuss about leaving the farm!

I would send her and see how she gets on once she is there.

My kids often whinge about going but like it when they get there. Much like the dog they are food orientated so a packed lunch with lots of treats that they don’t normally get is often enough.

5 year olds don't get to choose. She can go to camp and she'll have a lovely time once she's not getting all this negative attention. She doesn't even know what she's resisting, as she's not been before.

When they say stuff like this you just breezily go "right, well, that's nice, off we go" and they realise a) parents make decisions, not toddlers, and b) days out are nice. You don't let them rule the roost.

I’d make her go for a couple of days at least as usually once they’re there they love it.

If after a couple of days she absolutely hates it then you can let her stay home.

Swimming every day is a lot for a 5 year old. Is she tired from that? I'd stop that and get her out doing different activities each day instead.

This. Also, try leaving the TV off for 3 days to rest things and then she might want to try other things.

Is it literally a whole day of dance/drama or do they do other activities?
Dance/drama all day for a five year old must be exhausting (and a bit boring after the first hour or so).
If you want to get her out the house are there other activities you could take her to in your area? Ones that are free or low cost? In the school holidays local musuems, libraries etc usually have things like craft events or a Lego building session or story time etc and they are only an hour or so which is better for a 5 year olds attention span.
Also what's wrong with playing at home? What does she play with? Could you get some extra toys cheap/free online to go with it and turn it into a 'project' - ie if she is into wooden trains and you can get more track she could build a massive town in the living room and make buildings out of cardboard etc.

If she’d tried it and hated it I would listen.

But she hasn’t even tried it.

I’d be dropping mine off and saying give it a go.

Is anyone she knows going? That tends to help persuade my two.

Totally agree that 5 year olds don't get a say in this.

it's booked and paid for, she goes. Especially as she doesn't have a reason other than not fancying it.

Just take her. she’s 5. What a lot of nonsense, watching tv and needing to ‘chill out’. There will be time after the dance camp. It’s not exactly a 40-hour week up a chimney.

I have similar with 10-year old. Wants to be stuck to screens all the time. Always enjoys when they are there come out beaming! It’s exhausting but unfortunately necessary. Needs the time when young expanding personal and social skills.

Sorry but at 5 you decide what she does. Refusing to go? You take her there, cheery goodbye and a kiss and off you go. She might tantrum but will get the message that mum is in charge.

I guess you ran it by her before booking, or that she has an interest in the area? If it's not something she hates I'd be sending her off with a cheery smile. You're probably desperate for a day to yourself by now!

The money is spent whether she goes or not so let it go. Offer again tomorrow, I assume that will be fine. Mine went to club on the Monday, he didn't want to Tuesday because he wanted to be with me but then went fine rest of week. Sometimes they're funny buggers like that. You're doing fine

She sounds JUST like my daughter who is now 10 and still exactly the same. She loves being at home pottering about and most importantly she is happy so I don’t push the clubs now.

Bless her OP ❤️ little home bird.

At 5 it would be a non-negotiable for me - I wouldn't give an option to stay home. She'll have a ball once she's there!

Id definitely be taking her at least to say one and probably 2. If she really hates it after that then reconsider- and by that I mean hating it after she comes out not the next morning when she cba as with many things dc leave having had a great time but then don't fancy it the next day at first

My just turned 6 DD kicked up an almighty fuss about holiday club but I needed to send her & she loved it! Said next time could I pick her up later!

I would send her once & not again if she hates it, she’ll probably like it!