To say “just speak b***** English”

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Ok, don’t panic
I work in hospitality, in England. We get our fair share of people who don’t speak English as their first language, or at all, and that’s absolutely fine. I only speak English but we get by.
But … we have one regular customer who is English, speaks English all the time to his friends, but finds it funny to come to the bar to order his food/ drink and insists on speaking Spanish/ French or whatever he’s decided to show up with today - tbh I can’t even tell the difference. He then insists on talking me through exactly what he said, as if I’m an idiot, despite holding other customers up behind him.
Now, I’m not actually going to tell him to f* off, but I SO wish I could 😂
So would IBU to do so, given that “the customer is always right, even when they are being a dick”?

A manager or someone with authority needs to step in and tell him to take his Duolingo act back to the table. He's doing this to humiliate the staff.

It'd also be cool if you have a native speaker to reply to him and embarrass him.

I came on here thinking you were talking about people who have moved to the U.K., and don’t speak our language, and was going to agree with you. Hate it when people have lived here for decades and have no command of the language in the country they have made their home. I work in customer service and it’s massively frustrating.

I would ask politely why he bothers trying to speak in another language if he's just going to repeat himself in English.

Follow up by handing him a slip of paper with the details of a conversational french/Spanish group in your area and say, "here, I thought you might like to know about this group so you can improve your confidence with them"

And of course, as leaves, breezing and cheerfully say "au revoir, monsieur!"

Isn't this almost a poster child for Google Translate ?

Next time just get your phone out and use it to translate to/from whatever the langue du jour is.

If my Sri Lankan friend can take his family around Paris powered by GT, then it should easily accommodate you.

I was trained by experienced bar staff years ago that when an idiot customer (men) started playing around, holding out the money and then whipping it away, I had to say to the next person in the queue ‘Many apologies - I’ll serve you as soon as this gentleman has paid. ‘ Next customer would usually tell idiot customer to pay - in more explicit language.

Can you try a variation of this? Big smile and apologies to the next customer, that you’ll be able to serve them when this customer has placed their order in English?

It does sound like he has MH issues

It really doesn't.

Or at least, he may have mental health issues, just as anyone might, but that's got nothing to do with his being a tedious dickhead.

I don’t think it’s mental health. I think it’s a sad lonely man trying to get attention, however he must go about it.

If you are willing, it would change the dynamic to give him a bit of friendly attention before he gets to this point. Greet him by name, ask how he’s doing, “oh you’ve brought friends today.” What’s everyone having? Please oh please in English this time!”

Only if you are willing of course.

Learn a swear word in a language he can't speak. Then say it and tell him you don't have time to explain what it means.. then laugh as you walk off and say it again

Without being horribly rude, I would do a big sigh and tell him to speak English. I’d be interested to know why he does this. It’s extremely annoying.

Just tell him. (But in a friendly way ) I have noticed that you are English and skeak English but when you ask questions you speak in spanish. Are you learning it? What do you use Duolingo? And if he keeps coming in. Just say the usual? And remember what he has

He's an attention seeking prick

He sounds like a tedious, attention-seeking twunt. This may come in useful for future use...

www.signingsavvy.com/wordlist/27408/FUCK+OFF/1011535

Sadly, I can’t tell him where to go, as I’d probably get the sack

Fortunately there's no need - just smile, say "I'm afraid I can't understand you" and move on to serving the next customer

I love this idea - it puts it right back on him to stop being a dickhead. You could say something like - I will serve you as soon as this man stops acting the fool and lets me know what he wants.

Just say
"In English please" each time he says something in another language.
If he insists on saying every first in another language say there is no time to practice your languages without holding other people up. If you go to the end of the queue that will be best so that you are not holding up everyone else in the queue.

Learn to say 'you're being a dick' or similar in French or Spanish. Then smile sweetly and say 'I've been working on that for ages as I find studying languages a real struggle. I so hope I got it right?' If he complains say you were trying to join in his fun and thank him for his order but you've not quite got the hang of French / Spanish yet and no offence was meant.

“Hello, what language are you strangling today?”

A comedy podcaster I listen to has a saying he lives by: "no bits on tips". This means "don't try silly jokes or routines on people who are obligated to laugh - or at least refrain from punching you - because their job, or their income in the form of tips, depends on it". This guy is doing "bits" (messing about when ordering) on "tips" (you, the waitstaff). He's out of order.

I know someone who thinks they can speak different languages when they are having a psychotic episode. He speaks a mix of Italian and French words that make no sense but to those that can’t speak Italian or French it sounds quite realistic. He had no insight into this at all.

This! Roll your eyes as he approaches and let him know he has become a running joke

Just tell him you don’t speak French or Spanish. Why is that so hard?

I'd just laugh at him and say, "I know what you are trying to say, but what you actually said is quite rude".

Which is actually true.

@ilovecardigans that's ASL, totally different in BSL.

OP

You know people on TV do those heart shapes with their hands,

Put your hands like that, move your fingers up so the finger tips meet in a sort of arch.

Then turn your hands upside down and move your hands towards him.

You've just called him a cunt, and he will have no idea.

Being able to swear in BSL has its advantages when you want to call someone a name.

Ooh yes, correct his pronunciation!!

Which has little to nothing to do with some pub bore inflicting his cleverness on the captive waiting staff.

I would just say slightly loudly 'do you not speak English'?