To have another child - how do you know when you're done?!

[Unlikelyfarmerswife]

I am 37 and have an 9 year old boy and a 5 year old girl. When I had my second child, I was convinced we were done. As the years have gone by I have been less convinced, but as time ticks away, I get older and the potential age gap gets bigger it makes me question if stopping at two is the right thing.

We have had issues in the past with miscarriages so I am fully aware nothing is guaranteed but I just can't shake the feeling - the absolutely sensible thing to do would be to stop, we have two beautiful children and life is just starting to get a bit easier with them both at school etc. But I've just got a nagging feeling we would regret not trying.

AIBU to consider trying for another child?!

But it will be anyway - if your 2 kids have 2 kids, that’s 4. If they have 2, that’s 8.

I don’t understand the sense of righteousness some posters have in being so certain ‘2 is the right amount for the planet’. I mean if you’re that environmentally concerned, why not have 1? Or even none?

Noooo! I've just had a new born with a 6 year old ! I forgot how tiring the early days are, and how much attention babies need

Enjoy the time with your children ... x

I had 2 because that's enough expense and work for me. I don't think there's anything the government could actually do to persuade me to have another.

I agree that we need to reduce the population of the planet, butUK families as they are, some zero children, 1, 2, 3 or more are evening out at 1.6 per woman. So there is no need to shame the 3 kid families. I think it's best if the population decline is gradual rather than falling off a cliff so we can make the adjustments without governments panicking!

Retirement as a concept will probably have to go - it's unsustainable without high rates of fertility. I hope governments can think long term and have these kinds of honest conversations with the populace. No one is really talking about it though.

As a PP said there are now pronatalist policies in several countries, incentives for having 3rd children, but having limited effect. The worry is - what will they turn to next if women can't be 'persuaded' to have more children and the government won't make the economic sacrifices? Handmaid's Tale territory. I'm sure I read abortion rights in China have also been restricted along with attempts at 'persuasion' and propaganda.

My third is away traveling and back on Sunday….cannot imagine life without him and his siblings who are 4 and 6 years older would definitely agree! Just go for it ..life is so precious 💐