Neighbour obsessed with what time I get up

[Mississipi71]

I overheard my neighbour talking about what time I get up in the day. I have no blinds in my bedroom, just curtains, so she can presume see what time I wake up. I even heard her saying "it is 11.30 am now, what time did she get up 11.15?" I don't go into deep sleeps (side effects of anxiety meds) so I never really feel I have had a full night's sleep. I am early retired, with no kids so what time I get up is down to me. I just read in bed, dont play music or watch tv, until I finally drift off. She also has no idea whether I have reasons for sleeping patterns and I don't need to justify anything to her. Anybody else have CF neighbours like this?

I’ll take a punt

You and this neighbour aren’t exactly on formerly terms anyway?!

If my blinds are open I get neighbours waving to me as they walk along the street 😁
The notion that people walk along residential streets with their eyes anchored firmly on the horizon so as to preserve other people's privacy is arrant nonsense.

Police where involved, they said there was 'no proof' it was him that egged the house so it was his word against ours. He was quite aggressive and the PCOs just kept saying to just 'do as he says' so we dont 'upset him'.

Eventually he kicked our door in screaming that he would kill us, I was on the phone (recorded phone calls) to the police as it was happening, thats what FINALLY got the 'no contact' order - then a year or so late he moved house.

I did a bit of research and hes an ex profesional fighter (like boxer or cage fighter I cant remember which) and had an on off drug addiction issue.

I think he had clearly been hit round the head one too many times but he was the most controlling person I ever met (but he was only ever like this with women and children, he didnt get agressive to other men).

Since retirement we've always lived our lives in a different time zone which has been commented on by friends in a jokey manner....I don't sleep well and sometimes don't drop off until 2 or 3 am so I sleep late and my DH just follows my lead a lot of the time. I said to my postie the other day when I opened the door it was a novelty actually seeing me dressed..people are so ruddy judgemental.. not the postie..he's a doll.

@Trying20

arr you back from your holiday yet??

Sorry to derail

My DM had someone say this to her in the 90s. It freaked her out. I just kept my curtains closed all the time!

When I lived in the suburbs I felt it was a bit curtain twitchy. No one said anything but it made me feel uncomfortable. I much prefer living in anonymous inner cities.

I have watered her plants when she has been away - on my offer. We exchanged a tipple as christmas presents. I (naively) thought she was an unassuming lady it was only when she had work done in her garden, for two days, I found out the truth. She sat watching our other neighbour work whilst she bitched about me and other neighbour at the back of her. She put the working neighbour in an uncomfortable position. He told me after he just wanted to get on with the job but she pulled up a chair for two days watching him. Lonely, I can understand but that is no license to rip into ppl. She is harmless but it makes you realise you will get shit on whether you are decent, or not, at times.

She's bored. We keep our curtains closed all day in hot weather so our neighbors may think we are permanently in bed!

You don't have to explain your sleep pattern. You go to sleep when you do and wake up when you do. If you sleep till noon, so what? If you get up at 5.30am, so what?

But you did admit to a dollop of nosiness too

So I’m also nosey

People have different living environments. I assume those saying they NEVER look into windows live in houses that have no neighbours in direct sight line. My last flat had one tiny window and all the houses were in a line, so you'd have to stick your head out and crane it to the side to even see another window.

All the external walls of my current flat are floor to ceiling glass (sofa is against the only 'proper' wall and directly faces one of the glass walls) and the other glass wall is metres away from the neighbouring tower block which also is all-glass. If I'm lying on my sofa then there's floor to ceiling glass right in front of my eyes, then a small gap, then my neighbours' glass wall. There's literally no privacy except in the bedrooms and bathroom.

I installed blinds just over that one spot so my sofa is hidden but there really is no way of not accidentally seeing into other flats.

I suspect that a lot of people in this aged complex are bored and just chew the fat about trivial shite such as this.

I never open my curtains, because my kids bust the blinds and I hate having my privacy invaded, we spend a lot of time outdoors so I like home to be cosy and private.

Get an electric curtain rail and have them open and shut at random times-particularly when she thinks you’re out.

Must constantly have lights on in winter

And I love the sun pouring through windows , seems a shame to be living in twilight

I’ve actually thought I should go around and tell them so that they maybe… close their curtains

Why?? Encase there is another “nosey” pervert like you staring into their windows?

To say you have never seen through the window into someone else’s house is… frankly, ridiculous

I haven’t because I don’t behave that way. You said yourself you are “nosey” so don’t try and backtrack now. Looking into someone’s window takes a huge amount of effort, it’s complete different to someone walking past your house. It’s not normal and it’s a gross invasion of privacy, do you lack boundaries in other areas of your life?

Looking into someone’s window takes a huge amount of effort, it’s complete different to someone walking past your house. It’s not normal and it’s a gross invasion of privacy, do you lack boundaries in other areas of your life?

That completely depends where you live. Where I live, I would have to go to extreme effort to not notice what's going on in a glass building a stone's throw from the floor to ceiling glass a foot away from my sofa. But you simply don't move into a glass building if you want that level of privacy.

Electric blinds, cardboard cut outs, installing a bloke, making out I have a ghost, mooning.. 😄😄some fab ideas. Irony is, she can still be awake at 3 am, herself, because I can hear her tv. Muggings, here though just accepts it as she is a bit deaf. I would be in my right to say, yeah I sleep in because you bloody keep me awake😏

Maybe its an ageing thing and she's losing/ lost her filter? My mum who is mid-70s says pretty much whatever is in her head, doesn't matter how inappropriate it is.

Op

this issue aside
how do you get on with this neighbour?

Ignore her, it's none of her business what you do. I'm usually up and out of the house by 6:30 and in the summer the curtains and blinds stay shut to keep the bedroom cooler. Onlookers might assume I'm still in bed but who cares even if I was?

I once moved to a tiny little village just before Christmas one year, and saw an advert in local newsletter about a "cheese and mincepie" evening at the neighbours over the road. (Think 'Vicar of Dibley' and you'd be on the right path). Keen to get to know the locals I arrived and was invited in, to hear my name being mentioned in conversation. I was introduced to everyone and one chap piped up "We were just saying, no-one knows what time you go to bed. You walk upstairs so quietly the lady who lives next door can't hear you, so none of us know when you're asleep". 😱

Ignore them. As long as their obsession with knowing every detail of your life doesn't actually affect your life, then let them wonder.