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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour obsessed with what time I get up

263 replies

Mississipi71 · 07/08/2022 10:30

I overheard my neighbour talking about what time I get up in the day. I have no blinds in my bedroom, just curtains, so she can presume see what time I wake up. I even heard her saying "it is 11.30 am now, what time did she get up 11.15?" I don't go into deep sleeps (side effects of anxiety meds) so I never really feel I have had a full night's sleep. I am early retired, with no kids so what time I get up is down to me. I just read in bed, dont play music or watch tv, until I finally drift off. She also has no idea whether I have reasons for sleeping patterns and I don't need to justify anything to her. Anybody else have CF neighbours like this?

OP posts:
fetchacloth · 09/08/2022 08:58

Hmm1234 · 08/08/2022 21:59

I have neighbours like this- semi retired and nosey. You can ignore but the passive aggressive comments will start to come as she walks past your property. Nip it in the bud now

If I ever encountered comments like that I would just shut it down.
People neither have the right to judge other nor live their lives for them.

Original poster
Mississipi71 · 09/08/2022 09:05

I agree it is a generational thing. She is 75. She is also, at that age, of the mindset she can say it as it is.

OP posts:
rightonthyme · 09/08/2022 09:09

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Endlesslypatient82 · 09/08/2022 09:18

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Original poster
Mississipi71 · 09/08/2022 10:25

This reply has been deleted

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I probably did because I haven't made a joke about it. You are mentioned on it, If in your eyes, that makes me unreasonable, that is up to you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mississipi71 · 09/08/2022 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why are you asking somebody to post a link of a comment of mine from another thread? Why are you being passive aggressive, when you don't know the context of my comment on that thread?

OP posts:
browneyes77 · 09/08/2022 11:11

This is why I have net curtains 😂

petmads · 09/08/2022 13:21

I dont get up till 10:am unless i have something on babysitting, going out on our bike shopping my mum always said youve slept half the day way im like so ive done all that waking up at god knows what time and every 4 hours at night with the kids when they were babies , going to school does it matter is it affecting you no so mind youre own and my hubby fully supports it

notasoldasiseem · 09/08/2022 15:29

I have joined up to say this. Please stop with the 'generational' thing. I am 70+ and the sort of quotations here about what time blinds are drawn etc are things my parents would have said and they would be about 100 by now! They are not in my vocabulary - often open my curtains late. I am not saying what time I get up

Vynalbob · 09/08/2022 16:18

Play a dvd where a character shouts for help then make sure your curtains are closed and you are outside at the time (with your neighbour obviously)... make a lame excuse and rush in to stop the DVD....if she asks say you accidentally left a dvd on (looking sheepish so she doesn't believe it)
Give her something to gossip about

Too much.... maybe but CF so deserving
of a little unnerving

Endlesslypatient82 · 09/08/2022 16:28

notasoldasiseem · 09/08/2022 15:29

I have joined up to say this. Please stop with the 'generational' thing. I am 70+ and the sort of quotations here about what time blinds are drawn etc are things my parents would have said and they would be about 100 by now! They are not in my vocabulary - often open my curtains late. I am not saying what time I get up

Is it really so far fetched to say a demographic that is retired, more than likely far from their physical “peak” and so more inclined to be… sitting, is going to be much more aware of their surroundings and the goings on of neighbours than than a young get demographic???

Original poster
Mississipi71 · 09/08/2022 16:41

Vynalbob · 09/08/2022 16:18

Play a dvd where a character shouts for help then make sure your curtains are closed and you are outside at the time (with your neighbour obviously)... make a lame excuse and rush in to stop the DVD....if she asks say you accidentally left a dvd on (looking sheepish so she doesn't believe it)
Give her something to gossip about

Too much.... maybe but CF so deserving
of a little unnerving

Love this ! She will have a bit more to gossip about as I have a builder who is round at the minute and as he is also a friend, he will be staying for dinner. I think I have learnt a lot from this thread. X

OP posts:
mybiggestfan · 10/08/2022 13:47

My neighbours must lie in bed 24/7 as they never open their bedroom blinds.

Your neighbour is a nosey old bat with nothing better to do than spy on you. Get a few male friends to come round stand in your bedroom window and then you close the bedroom curtains that will really give her something to talk about.

mybiggestfan · 10/08/2022 13:49

Incidently I am 72 and it is not a generation thing. Its a nosey old bat thing.

Leafy3 · 10/08/2022 15:16

I'm just going to defend my post where I said there may be a generational correlation.

I wasn't generalising that anyone who qualifies for a bus pass is likely to do this sort of thing.

I referred to someone who died a few years back in her 90s - so a generation older than those of you who are 70+. She was a widow and lived in the same house most of her life. Her neighbours of the same age looked out for her - they all looked out for each other.

So if she hadn't drawn her curtains by a certain time they'd check she was OK. Its the sort of community behaviour we're missing in big parts of society now, but its not busy-bodiness and I do think that we tend to see more of this type of behaviour among some older generations, maybe because they're less likely to be rushing around on school runs and commutes.

It wasn't a derogatory post against older people, nor was it a blanket generalisation of any generation - older or younger.

Original poster
Mississipi71 · 10/08/2022 19:51

Leafy3 · 10/08/2022 15:16

I'm just going to defend my post where I said there may be a generational correlation.

I wasn't generalising that anyone who qualifies for a bus pass is likely to do this sort of thing.

I referred to someone who died a few years back in her 90s - so a generation older than those of you who are 70+. She was a widow and lived in the same house most of her life. Her neighbours of the same age looked out for her - they all looked out for each other.

So if she hadn't drawn her curtains by a certain time they'd check she was OK. Its the sort of community behaviour we're missing in big parts of society now, but its not busy-bodiness and I do think that we tend to see more of this type of behaviour among some older generations, maybe because they're less likely to be rushing around on school runs and commutes.

It wasn't a derogatory post against older people, nor was it a blanket generalisation of any generation - older or younger.

Don't worry, the person who said that was merely posting in another name to stir up more trouble. Their previous post had been deleted x

OP posts:
Leafy3 · 10/08/2022 21:33

@Mississipi71 oh that's a relief, thank you :)

SuSen · 10/08/2022 21:52

I'd be starting some weird voodoo sh*t in the bedroom to mess with her mind 😬
Some folk have zero going on..

sue20 · 10/08/2022 22:23

35965a · 07/08/2022 10:32

Don’t give it another thought, she obviously has a very boring life.

Don't give it another thought she's obviously mad! Lol. And a nosy parker!

sue20 · 10/08/2022 23:59

Endlesslypatient82 · 09/08/2022 16:28

Is it really so far fetched to say a demographic that is retired, more than likely far from their physical “peak” and so more inclined to be… sitting, is going to be much more aware of their surroundings and the goings on of neighbours than than a young get demographic???

Show quote history

Yes it is too far fetched. People age in very different ways and don't all just retire at a certain age. Some are fitter than in their youth. Im in this older category and certainly don't just "sit" bothering about what my neighbours are doing. Im still going out to work as many older people are. Especially with what has been done to women's pensions! There is no longer a legally required retirement age from employers. The behaviour described sounds like a depression and it could be happening any age. As can unemployment. Generalising about age related behaviour is ageist actually. so I'm with this poster.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 11/08/2022 07:49

my bil opens the siting room curtains when he goes to bed, so he can sleep all day without the neighbours being concerned
when we were staying there and didnt follow this routine a neighbour commented that they thought someone had died since the curtains were closed all morning!

Endlesslypatient82 · 11/08/2022 07:59

MrsLargeEmbodied · 11/08/2022 07:49

my bil opens the siting room curtains when he goes to bed, so he can sleep all day without the neighbours being concerned
when we were staying there and didnt follow this routine a neighbour commented that they thought someone had died since the curtains were closed all morning!

If he’s sleeping all day - probably a cause for concern!

MrsLargeEmbodied · 11/08/2022 08:06

@Endlesslypatient82
i should have explained better, if he stays up very late, talking drinking

MrsLargeEmbodied · 11/08/2022 08:07

anyway, can't people sleep all day without the neighbour's being informed?

Endlesslypatient82 · 11/08/2022 08:08

MrsLargeEmbodied · 11/08/2022 08:07

anyway, can't people sleep all day without the neighbour's being informed?

Did I say that?