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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the government needs to something quickly to help families financially supporting children at Uni.

562 replies

Fl0renc3 · 07/08/2022 08:41

Mortgages are going up( ours will by 300 when we remortgage v soon), energy bills will be going up hugely, ditto food, petrol etc…. Already making all the savings we can.

We have got to start paying our child £500 a month to live on from October on top. It was already going to be a squeeze.Her bills will be rocketing too so who knows if what we were planning to give her will be enough.

We don’t have a money tree and have 2 other children due to start Uni in the next few years. I know the poorest and the richest will be ok re funding for their child at Uni but there is a massive band in the middle who won’t. Whether or not you can go to Uni shouldn’t be decided on parental income( thanks Tories) but those already there and just starting are going to be in dire straits as are the families supporting them.

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 10/08/2022 15:55

A lot of people forget that HR's job is to protect the company not the employee. I always lol at people advising folk to report everything to HR. HR look after their paymaster first and foremost.

Quite

dianthus101 · 10/08/2022 17:34

PolarBearLookoutGuard · 10/08/2022 15:52

A lot of people forget that HR's job is to protect the company not the employee. I always lol at people advising folk to report everything to HR. HR look after their paymaster first and foremost.

The manager is not usually the paymaster though.

Nothappyatwork · 10/08/2022 17:39

TheKeatingFive · 10/08/2022 15:55

A lot of people forget that HR's job is to protect the company not the employee. I always lol at people advising folk to report everything to HR. HR look after their paymaster first and foremost.

Quite

It’s more for the paper trail when the matter gets in front of ACCAS and they make their decision on whether being screamed out in the face is reasonable or not.

everybody else’s opinion on the subject is pretty much irrelevant.

TheKeatingFive · 10/08/2022 17:48

It’s more for the paper trail when the matter gets in front of ACCAS and they make their decision on whether being screamed out in the face is reasonable or not. Everybody else’s opinion on the subject is pretty much irrelevant.

In my experience the private sector don't really get involved in this stuff. Things would get smoothed over internally, then if the person is deemed more trouble than they're worth, they'd be managed out.

dianthus101 · 10/08/2022 17:49

TheKeatingFive · 10/08/2022 15:55

A bit Short is very different from screaming in the face isn’t it ?

Yes, but it is all subjective. I've seen young employees extremely affronted at negative feedback, delivered very calmly, everyone's tolerance is very different and it is hard for HR policies to accurately reflect that.

If you’re training your daughter to put up with this in the workplace she will put up with it at home

What I said was that young employees should have strategies for dealing with these situations because no, not everyone in life is going to be lovely to them. Taking that to 'you're training them to put up with domestic abuse' is a ridiculous leap.

It's not subjective. Screaming/shouting at someone is very different to being a “bit short” or less than “lovely” and is abusive. I'm sure most people know the difference.

dianthus101 · 10/08/2022 17:53

TheKeatingFive · 10/08/2022 17:48

It’s more for the paper trail when the matter gets in front of ACCAS and they make their decision on whether being screamed out in the face is reasonable or not. Everybody else’s opinion on the subject is pretty much irrelevant.

In my experience the private sector don't really get involved in this stuff. Things would get smoothed over internally, then if the person is deemed more trouble than they're worth, they'd be managed out.

Interesting that you have so much experience of how workplaces deal with managers who scream in the face of their employees….

TheKeatingFive · 10/08/2022 17:56

Interesting that you have so much experience of how workplaces deal with managers who scream in the face of their employees

I'm not sure where the insinuation is getting us - come out and say whatever it is you want to accuse me of.

In fairness, I don't actually have much experience of screaming. The worst managers I had were far more subtle than that.

However this is my experience of how conflict in general is dealt with in any business I've worked in. It seems to be very different to the public sector.

dianthus101 · 10/08/2022 18:00

TheKeatingFive · 10/08/2022 17:56

Interesting that you have so much experience of how workplaces deal with managers who scream in the face of their employees

I'm not sure where the insinuation is getting us - come out and say whatever it is you want to accuse me of.

In fairness, I don't actually have much experience of screaming. The worst managers I had were far more subtle than that.

However this is my experience of how conflict in general is dealt with in any business I've worked in. It seems to be very different to the public sector.

I don't work in the public sector. What makes you think everyone on this thread who thinks screaming at employees is not appropriate is a public sector worker?

TheKeatingFive · 10/08/2022 18:03

I don't work in the public sector. What makes you think everyone on this thread who thinks screaming at employees is not appropriate is a public sector worker?

I didn't say you did. I would just associate mention of ACAS more with public sector, rightly or wrongly - that was another poster I was replying to, not you.

Sunshineandwetsuits · 11/08/2022 19:22

if you want to help your DD you could starting suggesting that she gets off her arse and gets some kind of job.
she can defer Uni to save some money, then work PT at Uni.
if that doesn’t sound do-able, is Uni the right option for her ? What about an apprenticeship, or an entry level job with FE qualifications later as an adult ( many employers support this with time to study and ££ towards qualifications)

As an employer I can tell you that we prefer not to hire the graduates who have no life/work experience ( we don’t count gap years building wells in some village or Duke of Edinburgh BTW).
I’ll hire the kid who has worked in McDs at 16 or the local shoe shop, then worked PT at Uni all day long, even if the got a lower degree because I know that working and studying is hard.

And as someone a bit less entitled than you I can suggest that you volunteer at your local
food bank, FareShare or similar so that you can get an idea of what a state our government has left many people in.

Sunshineandwetsuits · 11/08/2022 21:48

My empathy for OP is a a particularly low ebb having I spent the day at a food bank…

Nothappyatwork · 11/08/2022 22:16

TheKeatingFive · 10/08/2022 17:48

It’s more for the paper trail when the matter gets in front of ACCAS and they make their decision on whether being screamed out in the face is reasonable or not. Everybody else’s opinion on the subject is pretty much irrelevant.

In my experience the private sector don't really get involved in this stuff. Things would get smoothed over internally, then if the person is deemed more trouble than they're worth, they'd be managed out.

Absolute nonsense.

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