To think the government needs to something quickly to help families financially supporting children at Uni.

[Fl0renc3]

Mortgages are going up( ours will by 300 when we remortgage v soon), energy bills will be going up hugely, ditto food, petrol etc…. Already making all the savings we can.

We have got to start paying our child £500 a month to live on from October on top. It was already going to be a squeeze.Her bills will be rocketing too so who knows if what we were planning to give her will be enough.

We don’t have a money tree and have 2 other children due to start Uni in the next few years. I know the poorest and the richest will be ok re funding for their child at Uni but there is a massive band in the middle who won’t. Whether or not you can go to Uni shouldn’t be decided on parental income( thanks Tories) but those already there and just starting are going to be in dire straits as are the families supporting them.

I used to work in a psychiatric hospital in the 90s and there were plenty of teens and young adults with mental health problems. I also knew people who committed suicide in the 80s and a couple of people who attempted it. The difference in the past compared with now is partly the fact the people actually talk about it. In the 90s more people had your attitude so people knew to keep quiet but that doesn't mean they were all employed or in education. It just means you and others with your attitude didn't know about it.

Yes there were some but now there are swathes. You’re talking about people ill enough to be admitted. Now, the majority seem to have an issue. What’s going on? Some of it is nonsense and attention seeking

@Siameasy

I have worked in the MH sector for a long time and I can assure you there are many professionals with your opinion, it’s just not at all very PC to say out loud.

So you think only some of it is nonsense and attention seeking, but some of it is genuine. And yet you are telling all posters on this thread that they shouldn’t pander to their child’s mental health problems and that it does no one any favours. How do you know their child isn't genuinely ill given that even you think some people are?

We can't diagnose how serious MH issues are on here but I do think if an 18 year old has significant MH issues then delaying university might be the best/safest option. Uni isn''t all fun and giggles.

Several of us are with you,@ancientgran Really hope the OP is taking our comments under advisement

Totally agree with this.

And I’m sure there were plenty of young people in MH wards in the 90’s but what I don’t remember was 18yo’s bursting into tears and having a breakdown and declaring they can never work again, because they work in Asda and a customer was a bit rude to them. There’s absolutely no call for resilience any more, it’s expected that everyone pander to the most sensitive people going. And 100% anxious parents create anxious children.

University is a priviledge and not a right. if you choose to attend then you have to sort out the funding. This is all down to Blair and his pushing for 50% of school leavers to go to Uni. completely unrealistic and the other labour decision to charge tuition fees was the opening of pandoras box and so obvious all they were going to do was go up and up. this recession is going to be long and its going to be deep and it really needs all adults to look critically at their finances. for some its going to mean delaying uni, for others selling up and moving to a smaller house or having less children than planned. this isnt 6 months and its over this is years and years.

It feels like there is so much pressure to rush from school to university or to a lifelong career. I think there is more to learn in life and a year or two between school and university can be a very positive thing, particularly if there are MH issues. I also hope she is listening.

@mummymeister but it’s not fair if it’s a right for some people and a privilege for others, which is what will mean if only those with rich parents can afford uni.

Not sure the “poorest will be ok” I think they’ll probably really struggle too or maybe they won’t even be able to consider uni for that very reason.

If the real reason she doesn’t get/ have a job is MH issues then that needs attention. But you also mentioned transport as a reason, so how do your other two kids get to work?

maybe there’s something local in your village she could do- babysitting, cleaning, dog walking, gardening?

I haven't seen any 18 year olds doing that now! I'm sure that there are some but there would have been some in the 90s. Many people in the 90s would have said teenagers were much less resilient than in the 60s. In the 60s they probably said they were less resilient then the 30s. It's all a case of some people being out of touch and looking back on the past with rose tinted spectacles and disparaging the “youth of today” and thinking they were superior when they were young.

I haven't seen any 18 year olds doing that now!

You must have a better recruitment policy than our place does! I don't know where they get them from, but I keep tissues in my desk now for the fragile teens who can't cope with the slightest, gentle constructive feedback (not from just me). They are smart cookies, but just can't seem to cope if they aren't told they are a star 100% of the time.

I am always astounded by the general attitude in the UK that further education is mainly some kind of vanity project. Why does education stop beign valuable at 18? Globally, a less educated population will only make the UK less competitive

I totally agree. Tuition fees are totally wrong in my view. We need people to be well educated. But successive governments don't agree.

I was a student back un the dark ages of grants in the early 90s and even then we ALL WORKED in the summer full time and most of us had a part time position in the term time too

I don't know where you were in the early 90s but we really didn't - there weren't the jobs. One summer I had a very part-time job in a gift shop and I got a decent full time summer job between the end of my degree and my Masters. Otherwise it was the odd two week placement here and there.

I had had Saturday jobs in the late 80s when I was at school but not while at university. The shops wouldn't employ students - I think they assumed we wouldn't get out of bed on a Saturday morning. Some students did bar work at the college bar, that was it.

However, I did end up at zero when I left university - no savings, but no debt.

I worked all three of my summers (80s), 8am - 4.30pm in a toy factory. It was grim but it meant I could eat in the autumn term and buy books 😊

Perhaps your workplace is particularly crap or your feedback isn't quite as gentle or constructive as you think. My experience of 18 year olds (my DC are in their early 20s now so have known many) is that they aren't any more or less fragile now than 30 years ago in general.

OP seems incredibly negative and prone to catastrophic thinking. I don't think this is a great example to set for DD heading off to uni, which is quite a challenging time for a young person. OP, please think about this and try to be positive for your DD. No wonder she's anxious if you are also like this with her.

As a retired HR manager I think bursting into tears if you get something wrong is pretty well spread across all ages. If I had a £1 for every time I've heard I've given someone a bollocking when I wasn't even telling them they'd done something wrong I'd be a very wealthy woman. I could never figure out if they really thought they'd been given a bollocking or if it was like some badge of honour so if they'd been called into my office it was an opportunity to join the "bollocked" club.

I do think that sometimes youngsters think they are more useful than they actually are. Lots of indignation if they are paid less than an adult but it is a rare 16, 17 or 18 year old that can perform as well as someone with some life experience, I'm not saying they aren't useful and I'm not saying that none of them can out perform their older colleagues but the reality is most need the edges rubbing off a bit. One of the things a gap year, or two, is very good at doing.

And 100% anxious parents create anxious children.

That may be because anxiety can be genetic! According to the NHS website, people are 5 times more likely to develop generalised anxiety disorder, if they have a close relative with it:

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/generalised-anxiety-disorder/overview/

Its not one gene for anxiety.

"Supporting children"

If they are 18 or older, they are legally adults

I disagree. My DD is still on placement 90 miles from uni, working 3 shifts a week in a different hospital and in uni 2 days. She will have 10 days holiday this summer and had 5 at Easter. She worked last summer and during her 2 week Xmas break but cannot work term time as she is on shifts when on placement. She even has to wait months for her petrol to be reimbursed and is currently back in halls to cut costs. Some medical courses need seriously different funding!

Congratulations. You are in the big band in the middle whereby you get fuck all. We are still in the position in this country whereby there is little incentive to lift yourself up. Ie if at the bottom, to move up makes you worse....just seen how much additional loans my daughters friends get compared to her...£4500 more!!

I have staff in my team in the NHS...get a pay rise or promotion and want to reduce hours as they want to retain universal credit and all the bits it brings them....and then the ones that hit £50k for the first time on salary and realise that their marginal tax rates are now 40% tax, 9% student loan repayment and 11% payment of pension suddenly think I'm not paying 60% so apply to reduce their hours. Then they wonder why the NHS is so screwed staffing when all these things impact. Same...the doctors are all reducing their hours due to the pension tax issues as well....loads of ours have stopped working Fridays now and have a four day week rather than pay the tax.

When will someone in government actually do something!!!

Oh bloody hell OP you are a misery.

I worked 2 evenings a week and all uni holidays to support myself. And that was for medicine.

Stop modelling a defeatist 'woe is me' attitude. Start modelling a problem solving 'help your self' attitude.

OP I agree it's not fair but I don't see it changing any time soon.

Could your DD defer her course and work for a year to save up?