Buying your child condoms

[rahjama]

Had a conversation with a friend, who mentioned that her son recently brought home his first girlfriend (both 15). She said that one of the first things she did was buy him some condoms.

I just think this is a bit...encouraging? I understand that she wants them to practice safe sex. And I also understand that if they want to do it then they will. But is there any need to literally hand them the tools to do so?

I will add that I had sex at 15. And by the time my friends and I turned 16 (legal age) most of us had already had sex. I bought my own condoms every time (or my boyfriend did). Sometimes the embarrassment of having to buy condoms is was enough to make me not want to do it that time. But if I had a parent who handed me condoms then I would have used them and still done it?

Maybe I'm just overprotective and worried about the risk of pregnancy/STIs/slut shaming.

I never gave my kids condoms but we did have conversations about all of the above. My DD told me when she had sex but none of my DS did. Maybe it's different with boys and girls?

I think that's great.
Goving them condoms will not force them to do it, but will give the option to do it safely when they want to. Lots of adults are still too shy to buy this stuff, so better to make sure he haa them than risking he will chicken out and they will be bit stupid.

I think she is being very sensible. If they do decide to have sex then they won't be tempted to not use contraception because they are too embarrassed to go and buy it.

Good for your friend for having the sort of relationship with her kids where she can provide them with contraception. Many teenagers don't have that sort of relationship with their parents and take unnecessary risks instead of discussing/accessing contraception with parents or doctors.

Better to provide condoms than not using them out of embarrassment of buying them themselves

First thing I did once I realised my son was sexually actively. Was asked if I would practice double standards and not do the same for my daughter. Said of course I wouldn’t do the same, I’d give her the option of oral contraceptive or implant as well as buying her condoms!

Of course it doesn't encourage them.

No-one decides to have sex if they weren't already thinking about it, just because they don't have to buy some condoms online.

You’re friend sounds like a sensible parent.

Interesting - I think maybe i'm a bit old. Did everyone give their kids condoms?

Condoms aren't a 'tool' for sex, they will do it with or without them. Sounds like your friend is being sensible, understanding that they will likely have sex and promoting that they do so safely.

I gave mine some and I also brought her period pants before she started. Mine has about as much chance of having sex (she’s just not interested) and I have about going to the moon but it opens the conversations. It’s amazing how many boys know nothing about hygiene about washing hands before and after etc

I bought my own condoms every time (or my boyfriend did).

And what if neither of you had any money?
At 16 generally unless your parents give you cash you're unlikely to have any.

She'd be really irresponsible to not buy them.

But if I had a parent who handed me condoms then I would have used them and still done it?

Also, would your parents knowing you'd used them all not be more embarrassing than buying them?

Don't condoms stop sti?

Surely you'd be more worried about sti if they didn't have condoms

There are always condoms in the house, well since ds1 was around 15/16. Hes 27 now and has moved out. It doesnt seem to have encouraged my 19 year old , hes had a couple of gf but isnt ready yet.

If they are going to have sec then they are going to.

Providing condones encourages that sex to be safe.

It also encourages open communication between parent and young person.

Head in the sand if you think it's not going to happen.

We both had jobs.

Just to be clear I'm not slagging off my friend I just thought it was unusual and wanted others opinions as I hasn't heard this before

Clearly I'm in the minority and that's okay!! That's why I asked the question

If want your children practicing safe sex then yes, you literally give them that.

@rahjama that's what I mean though, 16 year olds 20 years ago (not assuming your age, just a random figure!) were much more likely to have their own incomes than 16 year olds these days. There seems a big divide in maturity levels imo between then and now

I dont have children but many of my friends who do have always just bought condoms when their children were about 15 and told them where they were in the house or gave an option to keep some in their rooms. Its being responsible.

I did (at 16). She was on the pill as well. I had a conversation with them both about it and that unplanned babies weren't on the agenda.
And I had that convo regularly. I also talked to girls mother to check we were on the same wavelength

I remember the school nurse giving us all condoms. I went to an all girls school. I kept mine, but didn't use it. I had sex at 18. I honestly don't think condoms=sex. I think your friend is being very sensible.

I did.

As soon as there was a sign of a girlfriend, I bought him a job lot with the instructions that we don't want any babies in this house thank you so use them.

It's just sensible.

And no I don't believe it's encouraging. My daughter is in her 20s and as far as I know has never had a sexual relationship. But she knows the score if she did.

I order my sons on Amazon prime hes 19 now I have done since he was 15. Would much rather he had a supply to hand than took any risks.