Buying your child condoms

[rahjama]

Had a conversation with a friend, who mentioned that her son recently brought home his first girlfriend (both 15). She said that one of the first things she did was buy him some condoms.

I just think this is a bit...encouraging? I understand that she wants them to practice safe sex. And I also understand that if they want to do it then they will. But is there any need to literally hand them the tools to do so?

I will add that I had sex at 15. And by the time my friends and I turned 16 (legal age) most of us had already had sex. I bought my own condoms every time (or my boyfriend did). Sometimes the embarrassment of having to buy condoms is was enough to make me not want to do it that time. But if I had a parent who handed me condoms then I would have used them and still done it?

Maybe I'm just overprotective and worried about the risk of pregnancy/STIs/slut shaming.

I never gave my kids condoms but we did have conversations about all of the above. My DD told me when she had sex but none of my DS did. Maybe it's different with boys and girls?

I remember a boy in our social circle had this kind of arrangement with his mum. I thought it was quite sweet. He used to share them out too, so she was funding everyone’s protection! Wonder if she knew?!

I would have loved a mum who could have talked to me about sex and relationships. She was too embarrassed to. I can't get my head around that and still resent her for it. Because if you can't talk to your mother about that stuff .. Part of being a parent is having those 'awkward' convos. I have a completely different relationship with my children. And had the convos with them, which I didn't find awkward, at all..

They know.

As no way can their child use that many.

Always been a box in family bathroom at my parents home that was always replenished and no questions asked. Even in to my 20s. In fact, I'm 30 and I'm sure it's still there.

My brother and I would take them out as and when or I'd get some from the sex clinic but I liked that my parents were not worried about sex or give any lectures. They were open and I knew if I had any issues I could go to them judgment free when I was ready.

That's not the question anybody asked.

What is worse? Your child having sex at 15 or your child having unprotected sex at 15 and a pregnancy resulting? It's not rocket science.

I am very fed up of reading Mumsnet threads about teenagers from the perspective of parents who don't have teenagers.

You'll all change your tune soon enough.

I don’t think it’s anything to do with being “old”, my mum was 52 when my younger brother was 15 and bought him condoms. It’s what most sensible parents would do when finding out there’s a chance their dc are sexually active.

Good for her, he will have sec with or without her approval and she’s set a safe example

I bought them for my DS when he had his first GF but I also told him they were 'just in case' and not to feel pressured into doing anything he (and GF) weren't ready for just because I'd given them to him.

I did when my sons were that age and I still do .

I don’t understand your fear of STIs, unwanted pregnancy etc but feeling weird about your teenage kids using condoms. Surely the latter prevents the former??
appreciate you’re having your eyes opened though and graciously at that.
my son is only 19 months old so I’m not currently concerned about this obvs but will def encourage him to practice safe, respectful, consensual sex when the time comes.

I have never bought them any, they seem to have been capable of sorting that out themselves

I used to work for a charity that gave out condoms like sweets. When ds1 was 13/14 (I think). I brought a load home, there were even some glow in the dark and smiley faced ones apparently, he used to take them to school with him and hand them out to his friends.
Ds2 gets his own.
I have always encouraged my kids to be sensible and always use a condom regardless of what their partner tells them about their own birth control. They have also been told that any questions will always be answered honestly. I never had that, my mother was too scary to ask.

A friend of mine had a jar in the sitting room with condoms in it for anyone to help themselves.

In the sitting room? 😳

I had a friend whose mum was like this and to be honest it put her off sex! Her mum was so desperate to know everything it was weird. Perhaps method in the madness.

More concerned the girl is 15 to be honest. Wonder if she would be different if it was her daughter rather than son?

@ulteriorbread exactly more concerned and potentially not encouraging it.

Yabu.
You'd rather want them to have sex without a condom than???

I had an amazon delivery of them sent addressed to my son as soon as he started seeing someone aged 15.
We talk about everything though so it wasn't at all awkward, I just didn't fancy being a nana just yet!
It's just sensible, no need to make it weird by over thinking. Teenagers will have sex whether they tell you about it or not.

I know and agree, totally different from my experience with friends in RL.

I wouldn't buy my underage child condoms but I did when ds was 16 and ha a gf.

YABU. I put a jar filled with condoms in the bathroom cabinet. They aren't in their box so if one or two disappear, it isn't obvious. I will top the jar up if necessary.

If ds' friends help themselves as well, I won't mind. Far better than an unwanted pregnancy.