the "don't have kids if u can't afford them" mentality...

[MermaidCheeks]

Who exactly do this lot think are going to be looking after them in hospitals and care homes when they're elderly and infirm?

If only those who could really afford to have kids had them - a decreasing well-off demographic -we'd be even more fucked than we already are.

Immigration is not a long-term solution when 80% of elderly are going to be spread across low and middle-affluent countries by 2050, either. Every country is going to need their own citizens.

Instead of resenting people who need their wages topped-up by the government in order to afford having a couple of kids - maybe embrace those who are making sacrifices to have kids at all, especially in the face of the overwhelming decrease in value that society and successive governments have placed on the role of raising children.

The pertinent line there is if you can afford to pay for it. The issue is I see it is there’s going to be hundreds of thousands who can’t afford to pay for it and don’t have any family support.
they will be too healthy to die and too sick to live.

To top it all off, the family unit is being destroyed. It's ok though because those who are undermining the family unit are the gender bending non breeding sort anyway.

Fucks sake.

I am a biological female who has chosen not to have children for various personal reasons. Not least because my childhood was a shit fest of poverty and I did not want the same for any offspring of mine.

Children growing up in poverty is a societal issue and one that we should all do our bit to avoid like, oh maybe not voting in a party who introduces policies that actively discriminate against poor people. Doing our bit through paying our taxes.
These days, contributing to food banks.

Childfree people are not destroying any family unit. We are all members of families ourselves. While I may refuse point blank to continually bail out my brothers and my sister by paying for things for their children - all of my nieces and nephews (9 in all) have savings accounts in their names opened by me when they were babies and to which I contribute ever birthday and Christmas because I want the next generation of my family to have a better start in their adult lives than our parents gave us.

There is an enormous difference with choosing to have children knowing you’ll struggle in terms of not having some ‘nice to have’ things, but will be able to provide the basics, and choosing to have children knowing you will have to rely on government handouts to afford to live.

The benefits system was introduced to help those who had fallen on bad times and were in need of help, not as a lifestyle choice.

I cannot understand the logic than the country, in its current economic state, should be funding those who choose not to work and have multiple children in order to continue to claim benefits.

I live on a housing estate with lots of social housing. The number of children in the social houses is generally much higher than the number of children in the privately owned homes, with social houses often having between 4 and 6 children, and many of those parents not working, and choosing to claim benefits.

Children are a privilege, a joy and usually bring much love and happiness to a family. Why should this be linked to income?

Because if you’re not able to pay to raise the number that you want, then the rest of us have to. It’s not rocket science, surely?

Yabu. When I heard a c25 Yr old say the other day 'society is so wrong, no one cares anymore about foodbanks' and she had three children and no job, yes I did judge her for being very entitled.

Having kids knowing you expect others to fund your lifestyle (ie on benefits) is wrong imo.

@Murdoch1949 Boris Johnson can choose to have as many children as he likes because he can afford to. To choose to have 7 children, rather than 1 or 2 when you can’t afford them is irresponsible.

Its fine to say we should help families pay for their children, but where does that money come from? Serious question. It doesn’t grow on trees.

That’s a really weird way of looking at it. Most people could ‘afford’ one or two children- maybe the people who say don’t have kids unless you can afford them are referring to families who are living on the bread line already and still have 4, 5 or 6 children

Your post is getting really under my nose. Currently as it stands you can have as many kids as you want as of your own free will.

But not too long ago..many were up in arms moaning they could not feed their kids and claiming poverty. I'm not been funny but even a UK holiday is going to be expensive if you have 3 or 4 kids. 1 or 2 is manageable but you realistically need a partner and both deal decentish wages. The costs of rent alone is sky high in some parts of UK...

Don't push the issue on to parents who holiday abroad with their DC.... I parent my child bloody well (to the best of my ability). The issue is CUT YOUR CLOTH accordingly! For the child's welfare and future also. Bloody cheek!

Poverty is no joke. My nana raised her kids in poverty real poverty. To the point where she would carry bags of shopping home and so would the kids. One of her daughter hopped regularly all the way to the hospital rather than get the bus (bad leg). Poverty is not some content life what you describe. Poverty is miserable and is very likely to lead to mental health and lots of other issues.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
Children are a privilege, a joy and usually bring much love and happiness to a family. Why should this be linked to income?
What an insane post! How can something which is going to cost money not be linked to income? What revenue streams do you think should be diverted to you to make up the shortfall?
Johnson is not claiming benefits for his 7 children; in fact everyone that chooses to have 7 children is free to do so, if they fund the costs themselves.
Boggling that this is such a difficult concept for some people.

Carry bags of shopping home?

Yes. Have you never done it? I remember doing it with my friends mum now and again. Your very privileged if you haven't carried a few groceries in a bag home! It's not unusual.

the funny thing is poor people pop out one child After another after another after another and whine about lack of support. the wealthy on the other hand have a sensible number of children or none.

are you one of those poor ones who have so much time to whine and expect others to subside your sad lifestyle?

go get a job.

@EmmaH2022
Families managed before in this country
Family centric countries manage now

You don't need 2 cars
You don't need holidays
Fake tan, false eyelashes
One parent stay at home and look after your kids
People without their mental faculties should not be given medicine just to breathe
If you have money then get the help into your own house where you house your elderly and pay them whatever you want to pay them - Carers might finally make a competitive wage.

Why is carrying some groceries in a shopping bag a descriptor of "real poverty"

I assume because privileged folk have their shopping delivered? I’ve never done an online food shop, guess that means I’m poor.

@Algbu6

Most of the rich people on my street (The whole area is well off) carry their shopping home - it's a form of family exercise on Saturday for them, an activity almost.
I carry my shopping home.
Groceries.

When I was growing up nineties/ naughties - we would carry the shopping home from the city centre to the nice area on the outskirts of the city - bus fare was affordable and better drop off locations than taking the car and car park faff.

Your 'Nana' wasn't poor for doing that
Your family sounds lazy and unhealthy complaining about that unless they have disabilities and had to do that.

At least 4 of Johnson’s dc are in their 20’s, so not a burden on the tax/benefit system. He has two under 4’s, and one dc of an undetermined age, so not a valid argument.

@EmmaH2022 it was the Health and Welfare P of A. There’s space for you to add your own specific wishes. We did them along with the Finances ones.

@Cameleongirl , I know, it’s awful. My DM went on to 97 in a terrible state. She’d had dementia for about 15 years, the last few doubly incontinent, not knowing any of her family, no clue about anything. Her physical health was very robust - even the care home staff had started to think she’d go on for ever. I’d certainly begun to think she’d see me out! But when the end finally came it was mercifully all over within 36 hours - and thank goodness no question of hospital or trying to keep her going.

Maybe Albgu6's butler sorts her shopping out.

So very weird to say "My Grandma lived in real poverty, she had to carry her own shopping".
I can only assume it's a pisstake.

Oh, the sound of moving goal posts 😁. Low income does not suggest employment ( otherwise it would be low pay) and many people in employment depend on benefits in any case
"I'm sorry, I falsely accused you" is the response, mate

I believe if you can’t afford to feed yourself or heat your home then you shouldn’t be adding a child to that mix…

@Algbu6 Didn't the neighbourhood kids carry your mother's groceries all the way home? Out of respect?

Far too much entitlement today. People having lots of children they can't afford. Fathers aren't around. People go to the council and expect them to house everyone.
There's baby banks, food banks, never heard of it all years ago.
Parents worked. Dad full time. Mum part time
No handouts apart from child benefit.
They paid for for, clothes, everything. It's all gone in the wrong direction.

@TSIFT, I don’t know anyone who’s ‘thrown’ their elderly relative into a care home. It’s nearly always after a huge amount of agonised heart-searching, after it’s become clear that their care needs include someone on hand all day, all night, 365 days a year - which is so often impossible to provide in a normal family setting.

Also, I’m assuming that you have no idea of just how stressful and exhausting trying to care for someone with dementia can be - even with the best will in the world, and when you love them dearly.