Parents have started doing what Grandparents do

[Bringbackthe90s]

Was speaking to my mum the other day and she was saying how she can’t get back to sleep after waking up at around 6 am now. She said they go downstairs and put the radio on the tv and listens to hits from the 60/70’s with a cup of coffee/tea.
Sounds a nice thing to do, but I remember my Grandparents doing similar, i don’t know, I guess I’ve become very aware of their age all of a sudden…mum 69, dad, 73

My dream day out now is a pub crawl - but with cafes & garden centres.

Early 40s (but have been like this for a while !)

Dear god, this thread is so depressing. I don't want to turn into my mother.

If my parents start watching TV all day while chain smoking I will get worried. They're mid to late 70s and still play tennis and go for several mile long cycle ride/walks.

I won't be like them in my 70s.

She won't change the day of the week she food shops. 'Can't that day, that's my food shopping'.
This was my mam! She HAD to go food shopping at 9am on a Tuesday.
I worked shifts. So l'd was either at work, been at work til midnight the night before, or was still in bed because it was my day off.
She had literally nothing else to do (she told me that every time l saw her) but no, it had to be 9am on a Tuesday morning.
My cousin ended up taking her. Bless her.

This thread is pretty depressing I agree, just because I don't want to think of decline as inevitable.

Is there stuff you can do to avoid it? Keeping up physical exercise/diet?

I’m old and retired. 😁
But I haven’t turned into my mother, I didn’t choose to.
Sadly, I don’t have a tiny, bird-like appetite either. I appear to be on a mission to eat my way through every local cheese in our local artisan dairy, whilst having frequent picnics on my days out. I’ve also taken up a couple of new hobbies, now I’ve got the time.
But I’m slower than I used to be, and enjoy a good nap before heading out to a show or concert in the evening.

Yes it seems to be noticable around that age, but of course people have to slow down. Although my mum is becoming a clone of my nan, despite my mum criticising my nan for being miserable and lazy for years.

She's only 60, recently retired, and now just potters around at home procrastinating, watching TV, and listening to podcasts. Cereal and tea for breakfast, crackers and Philly with cucumber for lunch nearly every day. Sleeps in until 10/11am. Won't go anywhere, or do anything remotely active, can't be bothered. She's starting to get old, frail vibes about her. My dad is the total opposite, up and out at the crack of dawn playing golf, swimming, walking by the coast etc.

I think it's just stages of life and we'll all hopefully be quite happy as we get to them. If you'd told me at 25 that by 35 I'd be quite happy spending a Saturday night in, sober, I'd have honestly never believed it.
All being well health wise I think my husband and I will love retirement!

However, my parents have recently hit 70 and are changing before my eyes which does make me reflective. As lucky as I am to have had them already for 40+ years, I feel for the first time, it's really sinking in that I will lose them at some point or they will become ill in some way. The next 20 years will be very different in lots of ways I feel.

I wouldn't expect to go back to sleep after 6,that's not early. After the loo,it's kettle on,and out in the garden, always something to do. I can't stand music before 9. DH gets up TV on,(discovery Chanel usually) he's always done this nothing to with age. also with economy 7, washing or dishwasher goes on early. Dogs have either got to be walked early this weather or evening. I've always had small portion sizes,(a lot of abdominal surgery)

It’s interesting, there’s 9 years between my parents, they’re currently 63 and 72. Mum has recently said to me that the age gap felt big when they got together (at 24 and 33), but slowly disappeared - yet all of a sudden it feels like it’s opened up again, because he is at this point and she isn’t. It’s strange.

I don’t think it’s inevitable. My 82 year old auntie is still working part time, speaks at conferences, has a busy social life and taught herself to use some new software over lockdown so she could take over the management of a database of a society she’s involved in.

That’s what I’m aiming for.

I think her working is the big difference.

It's my DH that worries me - he's only 39 but every so often I see a flash of his father in him and it turns my stomach. I absolutely cannot stand my FIL and thought of DH being just like him in 30 years time is unbearable to me. I don't really know what I can do other than remind myself that they are not the same person.

I also agree about the retirement thing to be honest. My parents still both work a bit, are involved in various charities and societies, are very involved with grandchildren etc. My PIL retired early and have now been retired for 20 years. They do absolutely nothing with their time and are not involved in anything at all. They seem like they are in a completely different generation to my parents despite being close in age.

My DH wants to retire in his 50s and I don't really understand that way of thinking. I feel like my career will only just be getting going in my 50s as the kids will be a bit older!

I don’t think it’s inevitable. My 82 year old auntie is still working part time, speaks at conferences, has a busy social life and taught herself to use some new software over lockdown so she could take over the management of a database of a society she’s involved in.

Thats exactly how I want to be when I'm older. My mum on the other hand retired at about 50 (so roughly my age) and has been 'old' ever since. Definitely not doing that - although the idea of retiring sounds fab I wont afford to so hopefully working will keep me young.

@Laquila
Absolutely. My mum complained the other day that "Everything's so fast nowadays...everyone speaks so fast" and it was a real sort of paradigm shift for me (is that the right term?!)

Your mum's totally right though. People genuinely have started speaking more quickly in the past couple of decades, especially in media.

@tunnocksreturns2019 Your auntie is my hero.

Dear god, do not let me turn into my mother. She’s batshit crazy. And not just normal getting -creaky-shrinking-world batshit.

She actually wanted me to return my dog to the shelter because it got ill. She didn’t actually say it was contrary to the trade descriptions act (1974) but that was the tone!

She is also an insufferable morning missionary (who is not content just to be an insufferable morning person, but feels the need to convert the rest of us, and is unshakeably convinced everyone else would feel great in the mornings if only they tried it properly) and lives on half portions of fish and salad. Needless to say, she does not have keys to my house. She’s also absolutely hyperactive, and believes anyone who sits down, ever, when not actively eating or working is positively slothful. I don’t know how she’s survived this long, frankly.

I have inherited none of these improving trait’s (which is a shame, as being thin, active and getting up early would be quite useful) feeling positively unwell until about 11 and have never met a carb or saturated fat I didn’t like or a sofa I couldn’t slob on. On the other hand I do have actual empathy, and can appreciate that people are different to me, which she seems to be incapable of, so there’s that…..

LoL! My PiL were mid fifties when I met DH (I was mid 20s). I was always bemused as to why FiL still got up at 6am after he'd retired. I'm 51 now, I'm rarely still asleep at 6am.

I'm 32 and last week I was comparing insomnia notes with my granny (she'll be 89 next month). I can't get to sleep easily so I stay up until about 2am, whereas she falls sleep very early but gets up for the day around 4am. Has some cereal and a cup of tea with a good book.

I think her routine stems from decades ago when my grandad worked nights. She's a worrier and after he had a bad accident on shift, she would always get up to see that he got home and into bed.

Yep, the small portions or asking to share a sandwich with me if we're out has been going on since mid 60s. Used to think it was mad, now start to agree! I am just shy of 40!. Both parents and in laws are really acting their age, all 70s, it's disconcerting to see

I was so determined to never turn into my mother that I accidentally turned into my dad.

Beer belly, dad jokes and luxurious beard included. 😭

Mine is very similar. Seems much older than her 68 years. Does very little, complains that she's bored but can't be bothered to do anything about it.

My Mum is like this, does all the things she didn’t like about my Gran (her mum), she retired at 62 I think and has morphed into an old lady. She thinks of herself as ‘too old’ to do things so she sits in the living room all day. My dad at least tries to stay active and does the gardening etc. they won’t downsize despite moaning the house is too big for them now (which it is!) it’s just very sad that she’ll never be this young again but she won’t do anything despite us encouraging her to. She always says how jealous she is if we go away, yet won’t book a holiday. Everything is left to me to organise. She seems to have lost all her confidence and I do think retiring and then not doing anything at all is the cause!

This morning my mum informed me that she is going to be reducing her hours from next month as part of her wind down to retirement (she could actually retire already but she’s not ready to) and I’m happy for her but it actually really made me feel weird! It feels like she’s been chugging along for years unchanged and now she is on the path to being an Old Person.
Historically neither side of my family makes it to old age (my dad passed at 59) so I hope she does become a little old lady but wow the idea is strange.