Parents have started doing what Grandparents do

[Bringbackthe90s]

Was speaking to my mum the other day and she was saying how she can’t get back to sleep after waking up at around 6 am now. She said they go downstairs and put the radio on the tv and listens to hits from the 60/70’s with a cup of coffee/tea.
Sounds a nice thing to do, but I remember my Grandparents doing similar, i don’t know, I guess I’ve become very aware of their age all of a sudden…mum 69, dad, 73

[velvetvixen]

I think maybe it’s nice to obsess over tiny, insignificant details, and leave all the world’s actual, big complex problems to someone else. Kind of retiring from responsibility.

There's something in this I relate to. I'm more inclined to eyeroll at the state of the world than become incensed as I did in my youth.

[Noshitsherlocks]

@VickyEadieofThigh

I'm 64, so already on the track to old githood. But my memory of taking my late Mum to a holiday cottage in 2013 (when she was 77) provides my best example of the bizarreness of this phenomemon.

Mum had the customary narrow food preferences of someone her age, so one night we had (high quality) sausages for dinner. She took one with a minuscule portion of veg, etc and on being offered to take another by my partner, declared "I think one's more than enough - don't you?"

Now, when I was a child, we ALWAYS got 2 sausages. WHO thinks a single feckin' sausage is "More than enough"?

This has become a catchphrase in our house, mind!

Lol, if one is MORE than enough does she think no sausages at all is just perfect? lol

[Mums4all]

I’m in my 50s now. I’m fit hand healthy. My GM, in her 90s, with dementia. My mum in her 70s in poor health, due to lifestyle.

I work out for 10-15 mins everyday. But I know I’m getting older. My daughter can see it too, which makes me a little sad, because I’m her mum, her go to person, and I don’t want her to worry about me getting old.

I have the example of my mum to inspire me to keep fit and therefore a little younger. I know 50 + isn’t old but definitely older than 30+ and on it goes!

[orangeisthenewpuce]

I'm in the old category but still working and have a better social life than my children. I think this is keeping me young in the head. But now I have age related and hereditary condition that makes me very stiff and makes doing some things difficult. Because of that I feel old sometimes. Also, I can hear myself saying things my mother used to say and am actively trying to stop. I dread being one of the parents described on here, shopping at the same time, not doing anything new etc.

[zingally]

It's kind of bitter-sweet watching parents age. My dad died nearly 5 years now (jesus h is it that long?!), and my mum visibly aged in the year that followed (she's 67 now). Most of the time, she's still as fit and spritely as ever, but just occasionally I see things that make me realise she's not 50 any more. Her reaction times when driving aren't as quick as they were, when I phone her up, she tells me stories she told me the day before.
And I find myself watching out for her more. This past week, we went to the commonwealth games together. Nowadays I find myself taking on the "adult" role. I'm the one who plans the train travel, finds out which way we need to walk, I'm the one monitoring the path ahead, warning of kerbs and steps, or taking her arm to steer her out the way of obstacles. I find it both sweet and a bit sad, but it's also just the natural order of things isn't it?

[CreakingatTheWhingers]

Due to DH's job, I moved away from my DP's almost 10 years ago, geographically a different county, albeit not far so they visit us around 4 or 5 times a year and we generally face time 1 a week minimum. They are respectively 75 and 73 and retired just before covid. Both physical and mental aging process in them both is so noticeable every time they visit, not so much on FaceTime.
I'm always shocked and a bit saddened when they come to stay but thankful they are still able to come and that they have both the financial wherewithal and physical health, (joint issues not withstanding) to do so. Long may that last! The bickering however.... 😳The funny thing is I remember both sets of DGP's doing this vividly and both parents being amused/annoyed at their parents!!
MIL is now 87 with dementia and blind. She has always been a formidable, feisty lady, very opinionated and set in her ways; its not made for the easiest of relationships over the years but she is now so much diminished and frail that I almost miss her 'spark'

[Nanny0gg]

@antelopevalley

I am in my fifties and bewildered by the amount of women I know my age who are deciding to no longer drive on motorways.

That's me.

Would you rather there were lots of very nervous drivers on motorways? (I'm fine on dual carriageways and local driving)

[Nanny0gg]

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

I don't drive - don't need to, live in London, but also I was a useless driver when I had lessons and after failing my test decided to do the world a favour and abandon the whole idea - believe me, the world is a safer place in consequence. However, as to why some women in their 50s might decide to stop motorway driving, could this be related to anxiety, perhaps as a result of the menopause? Feeling their reaction times are slowing down?

Yes

[Happyher]

Just be happy they’ve found something nice to occupy the early mornings. You will probably do something similar when you are their age

[MorrisZapp]

@Nanny0gg

That's me.

Would you rather there were lots of very nervous drivers on motorways? (I'm fine on dual carriageways and local driving)

It's the old paradox, only idiots can't drive on motorways, but people who drive like idiots should stay off motorways! I've never driven on them, as a matter of public safety.

As we get older we're better at knowing our limitations and for confidently voicing them. Aged 45, I told my friends that although I love them, I no longer want to go on any overnight trips which involve sleeping in someone else's house, or sharing a hotel room.

The retired don't need to rush along motorways. They can take the route they feel safe on, and factor in the extra time. I often turn down lifts and arrive by public transport, it's at my own expense both in money and time. My choice. I'm grateful for this stage (I'm 51!) where I can do what I want.

[mariominder]

Fascinating thread. For me it's Burns: 'Oh wad some power the giftie'd gie us/Tae see ourselves as others see us'. Definitely in the 'parent' category here and realise I have no idea what habits/lapses DSs might be worrying about, or how sad that might make them feel. Just one thought about the general issue today: a potentially senicidal pandemic, as it was seen at the start, has made a significant change. Not so much COVID in itself but the sudden shocking sense of being classified as needing protection, sheltering, whatever. Has engendered (as for many others of all ages, I'm sure) a new sense of timidity which can affect many things beyond merely going out, and perhaps also accelerates certain aspects of ageing. People in their seventies, born just after WWII, haven't had to face a public danger like this before, and resilience may be harder to achieve than it used to be. (About to cycle off to DS1's gig: DS2 has just left saying 'wear your helmet and wear a mask' so I guess the concern is up and running. Actually I think earplugs may be more key.)

[RidingMyBike]

I think my mid-70s mum was the opposite with Covid. She thought it was all a ridiculous fuss, didn't want to stay at home and found excuses to go somewhere every day - even if it was just to buy a coffee at a petrol station. She did house viewings during lockdowns (which were allowed) but they'd all sit down inside and have a coffee together (definitely not allowed). She was absolutely furious that we were sticking to the rules (DH was CEV so we shielded) and refused to see her.

[MrsDThomas]

Bloodyhell im 47 and cant sleep past 5:30am. I get up and watch the news or listen to the radio.

thus morning i went for a walk at 5:45.

[orangeisthenewpuce]

I (old) think motorways are much easier to drive on than driving in cities with bus lanes, taxi lanes and one way systems etc. Can't understand the reluctance.

[Cornishclio]

I am 62 and retired and determined not to do many of the things on this thread. Still active, no problems with technology, good appetite and sleeper and cram loads of things into my day with no routine except for doing childcare for grandkids or my walking group day or keep fit class. My mum is starting to age considerably though at 87 so I am sure eventually I will be the same.

[SleepingAgent]

@IncompleteSenten

I was so determined to never turn into my mother that I accidentally turned into my dad.

Beer belly, dad jokes and luxurious beard included. 😭

[doobydoobydooooo]

@velvetvixen

I think maybe it’s nice to obsess over tiny, insignificant details, and leave all the world’s actual, big complex problems to someone else. Kind of retiring from responsibility.

There's something in this I relate to. I'm more inclined to eyeroll at the state of the world than become incensed as I did in my youth.

So am I. My 80 year old mum however is doing sit ins for protests, doing yoga, going on holidays. She is definitely less reasonable about some things and argues more but she's active. Also drives 10km under the speed limit.
My PIL on the other hand are 20 years younger but struggle with exercise and don't go out much. Last time I saw them at their house they had the tv volume on 64 and no hearing aids in.