To ask you to whinge about family holiday behaviour with me?

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

Can we please have a collective (light hearted) whinge about how annoying family can be on holiday. Currently with extended family in France on day 5.

• People seem to not want to talk to me until the nanosecond I open my book. Then they want to tell me about their colleague’s bowel disease, or tell me about this film they saw that they can’t remember the name of synopsis of, or ask me inane questions about my favourite biscuit. I’ve read the same page about 15 times today
• For some reason the whole party has decided that I am full knowledge of where everybody’s suncream, athletes foot cream, sunglasses, goggles, towels and toothpaste is. And looked surprised when I say I have absolutely no idea, I didn’t even know you brought a blue towel.
• Over politeness about what time to eat and when. Lots of “I don’t mind, you decide” “Honestly I’m not fussed, I’ll eat anything at any time”. Ok, what about pizza at 6pm? “Oh god no not pizza and 6pm is FAR too early”.

I’m currently on a sunlouger hiding from everyone

Being me your trivial complaints!

I posted a couple of weeks ago on this very topic! Feel free to look it up. I was on holiday with my kids and it was all just doing my head in.
I'll give Mumsnetters their due though, everyone was so incredibly kind and supportive in their replies

WhatTheFlap

That sounds so grim but sorry your description did make me laugh a lot!

Sometimes it's worse going on hols with polite family/ILs when (as PPs have said) they just bloody sit on the fence all the time when you try to get a decision made, and then mutter about it being the wrong decision 😳 my husband's family are terrors for this!

It makes it even more important to make good choices when you go on hols with friends...learn from these trips and only choose people who share the same parenting approach as you!!

We are lucky enough to have use of a villa in Portugal - owned by my parents.
In the past we have invited friends to join us but I'm just not doing it any more.
A few good guests but most of them forget that my DH and I are on holiday too
"What time is supper?"
"Where are the arm bands"
"Where are the knives/spoons/bowls etc?" (No idea - everything gets moved around - have a look!)
"We have run out of cereal / bread /milk" (yes, you ate it all. Go and get some more"
"Oh we won't hire a car - we will just get in yours" ... well, I'm not doing 3 runs down to the beach... and what about your turn to do shopping?
And as for supervision of children ... no kids in the pool without an adult watching .... "but you were there" ... yes, reading my book , not watching your kid.
The list goes on. I've been cook, nanny, chauffeur too many times and I work full time and I'm knackered ...

I refuse to do villa holidays for all of these reasons. We went with friends who ignored their toddlers so we had to get up with them to toilet and breakfast them and I refuse to do that again.
Recently (After no holiday for years) we took our kids to a fancy all inclusive. Apparently it's my job to pack and unpack for our shared children and my job to sit next to them on the plane and parent long-haul/close quarters both ways, my job to book the in-resort restaurants and my job to solo-parent when it's "too hot/sandy/bright" insert excuse here. Next year I'm refusing to holiday with my husband too.

Anyone a fan of love of huns/hunsnet please take this post as one of those "just me and the kids now, hun." My husband can sod off, may as well just take the kids on lovely holidays and jettison the resentment

Years ago (literally, 24 years), the ILs went out for fish and chips. They unwrapped mine and put it on a plate! Savages. Still haven't recovered.

Family holidays are hell. We just about survived one with the ILs in July, then DS1 got Covid, so we couldn't go on the one with my family a week later, which was sad, but also kind of a relief! We only agreed to go because due to Covid we've hardly seen anyone for 2.5 years. Oh well, it will be even longer now and DF said before this holiday that it would be the last one. He's said that before though ....

Cannot fathom why anyone would holiday with parents or ILs. Just why?! We have cvt strictly immediate family only policy on our precious summer holiday - everyone else can sod off!

Made the error of sharing a house with family on holiday once. IL's fall asleep in front of tv but won't let you change the channel. Then get up at 4am and crash around the house.

I can't get my head around this. Who ignores toddlers?! Did you wake them and what did they say?

Done it twice with in laws and never again, not sure why I ever agreed to the second time.
Doors don't exist to my mil even at 7 in the morning when we are in bed, naked without sheets over us. (Second year we took a door wedge ). Tried to walk into our bathroom when I was having a shower, luckily there was a lock.
Getting tutted at for having a beer during the day.
Getting tutted at for daring to actually do something on holiday, they literally sit by the pool for 10 days.

(Very sarcastic but arghhh the horror of walking out your room to see your fil in the smallest pair of speedos that ever exist while making dinner)

I live in a different country but 2-3 is a normal time to eat lunch and 8;30-10-30 for dinner.

Are you eating lunch at 6 I would be starving ?

I'm on hol this week with my mum & DD, I get more annual leave than DH so i always do a week away with my mum. She used to live quite far away so it was good for them to spend a chunk of time together.

My mum is very easy going though, she doesn't undermine me or try to be DD's favourite, basically none of the crap MIL does & we have a great time.

We've got 3 nights away with MIL, FIL, BIL & SIL coming up, luckily I Have a book of local walks & I'll go for at least 1 run. DH also finds his parents annoying at times so we might end up doing stuff on our own.

My parents are fab we get on brilliantly would go away with them for a short local break but our precious overseas summer break? No bloody way. That’s when we reconnect as a family would hate to have anyone else to take into account.

Since you’re in France , wasn’t it some French bloke who said “hell is other people”.

Surely the easiest solution to this is to just eat at 3.30? Since they’re doing the cooking too. Flexibility works both ways.

Really it’s a bit passive aggressive of them, but the original question (“we are easy”) is a trap, they actually want to to respond as you do and the payoff for them is to be able to feel aggrieved and then do what they like anyway, just don’t play along with their game.

People seem to not want to talk to me until the nanosecond I open my book. Then they want to tell me about their colleague’s bowel disease, or tell me about this film they saw that they can’t remember the name of synopsis of, or ask me inane questions about my favourite biscuit. I’ve read the same page about 15 times today.

Ha! I'm travelling solo at the moment, and there's something about an actual physical book that attracts even complete strangers to come over for a chat. No one appears able to take any hint, including my saying excuse me or do you mind? and turning back to my book.

I refuse to get up and walk away - I was here first, and there are plenty of other places to sit - but I've found the only thing that works (short of putting in earbuds and just ignoring) is to explain that I really have to get on with this, I have a test on the material at x time. For some reason, that usually gets respected and doesn't result in a long lecture about how "rude" I am. I wonder how your family would react if you tried that one? 😀

Sil and bil palming their rambunctious 3 year old on us without asking . Mil saying she's happy to do whatever then being extremely specific about what she wants. Fil demanding attention off kids and moaning if they are not interested. Saying that I couldn't even go away with my own family!!!

I'm another one who seems to magically know where everything is in the caravan before I have even set foot in it and am.dripping with sweat and exhausted from the journey. DH woesw than the kids wanting constant access to phone and charger

We live in SW France and have a pool so dc love coming to us.
We’ve never had a problem, everyone mucks in and because it’s our home they respect our privacy re the bedroom.

I was on a Ryanair flight on Tuesday from Liverpool to France and a guy sat next to me on the aisle, his wife sat other side of the aisle with the 2 dc.
He refused to help his dw with anything and blatantly told her to look herself when she asked where the wipes were to wipe the dd. He said to the woman diagonally in front, who I think was his dsis, I’m not doing anything. He sat like a sulky rugby player and was only nice to his dsis. His dsis never paused for breath the whole flight and I didn’t hear a word of the safety drill because she was so loud.
Absolute knobbers the pair of them.
I wanted to mouth ltb across the aisle to his dw.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4603123-i-dont-mind-is-really-frustrating

For you, op

😂

'Oh I don't mind'

OP you need to start asking the questions - has anyone seen my dildo, or lube?

they'll not talk to you for a while and you can read in peace

get in with dinner first - what time and what are we eating? who's ordering or cooking?

My MIL moaned to me that the clouds were in the wrong place and she couldn’t see the pretty sunset.
Not at all sure what I was supposed to do about that one.

This actually makes me quite sad. There must be some families that are flexible & considerate? I could go on holiday with my immediate & ( some!) of my extended family no problem. My sis in law is always late though so I would have to try & discuss that before leaving. Couldn’t believe she once said she hates lateness!!!

@domestichiefofstaff omg this is my life in the summer. We live in a touristy hotspot on the med . Every summer we are inundated with visitors. We are now in year 3 and I am throughly peed off with any visitors - they can all fuck off looking for a free holiday. Seriously thinking of downsizing so no one can stay, but I love our home.