You must never, ever complain about anyone in the service industry, regardless of what they do, because ‘it’s a difficult job and they don’t earn much’. Even if a waitress takes a shit in your soup, you’ll be told you should have eaten around it and left a generous tip - ‘She’ll be relying on that money’.
Similarly, even if you catch your cleaner humping your husband on the island unit, you shouldn’t sack her because ‘good cleaners are hard to come by’. In fact, YABU for even suggesting you might sack her, because unless you pay pension and NI contributions, you are NOT her employer - she is self-employed and you are incredibly lucky to be chosen as her client.
There is no thread so innocuous that it can’t be turned into a trans-bashing session.
Suggesting that people might respond differently depending on whether the poster or their partner/friend/colleague is male or female is ‘whataboutery’ - but under no circumstances must you keep things gender neutral when referencing your partner, as it’s ‘confusing’ and ‘difficult to follow’.