Thinking teen sleepover a bad idea?

[Tereo]

I'm going away with 4 friends and their kids for a night this month. We ve each rented a hut at an activity campsite. Our kids are all teenagers and they just meet once or twice a year. Last year they ended up organising an impromptu sleepover in one of the huts. I didn't think it was a great idea at the time as there was a mix boys and girls.
AIBU to suggest to the friends in advance to let the kids all stay up as late as they like but sleep in their own family hut?

Based purely on my own behaviour at that age, I’d say YANBU 😬😂

So is your issue with the majority of posters saying they wouldn’t feel comfortable with this OR fact that OP in your eyes started a thread knowing her decision already or are you just in a grumpy mood and feel a bit tetchy generally

@Endlesslypatient82

My issue is why post if your mind is made up and just looking for people agreeing with you

Not really in the spirit

The pope of course

@Tereo

Did you allow the sleepover last time out of interest?

My teen would be very grateful for me saying no to this, so she didn't have to.

Those who would let them stay in the hut until late but they sleep in their own hut, what makes you think it takes until ‘sleep’ time for something to happen?

Yes I have three of theM who I trust to make decisions for themselves they are capable of that believe it or not ! I think you need to calm down and let teens live their lives you sound really controlling I bet your kids can't wait to get away from you and they are the ones who will rebel and and take risks

What a nasty post.

Exactly this

If anything is going to happen it will do so before they go to sleep anyway.

I would not let teens have a sleep over if boys and girls, but also and more practically my teens don't sleep when having sleep overs and then the next day is a write off. So I would be saying 1am is the latest to stay up and then back to family huts

At that age I was sneaking out in the middle of the night to another boys house on the street and having lots of oral sex. Not a chance in hell would I allow mixed sex sleepover at that age.

I don't think there is any generic answer that applies to everyone, and you probably know the kids best, and will be able to read the situation when there. The fact that you posted the question means you have reservations, listen to those.

A few years back, our kids used to stay late in accommodation with other friends they'd know at a campsite. They were all girls though, and no problems until one evening they ended up getting somewhat drunk and sick. We did also get some complaints about noise. Lesson learned and that was off the agenda for the rest of the trip as a result.

It is good to be wary of teenagers though, when I think back to some of things I did when I "made" friends when staying in chalets with my parents. Nothing bad actually happened, but I was probably lucky.

Ah apologise I thought you meant you would stay with them when you said stay up with them! Agreed, not sure I could be with my teens constantly!

My boys are younger yet but I think I'll always worry about them doing something naive or impulsive that lands them in bother.
At some point I'll need to let that go and let them handle it. But I can empathise with anyone who worries about it. Teens and impulse and boundaries are a minefield

I'd be fine with it.

Happy to be called a 'cool parent' though.

@berazzled .. not sure if you are joking or not, but you must be been a dream come true for the boys/girls in your street

"deffo no serious attraction between teenage boys"

of course not.....

www.mumsnet.com/talk/teenagers/4604389-i-have-a-sexually-active-teen-and-im-gutted

this just popped up on my Active thread.

14 years old DD unprotected sex. Otherwise very sensible year 9 pupil.

It is not about not trusting teens this age. It is about recognising that they are full to brimming with pesky hormones that are making their bodies and brains run haywire.

Crikey, so many of you in here just don't trust your teens

Contrary to popular belief, they aren't shagging everything that moves at that age & mixed teen sleep overs are no big deal. It's daft to worry, I'm mean, how do you deal with sleepovers with their gay, bi, & trans friends. It's no different, you really have to rely on the fact that you've brought them up well & to have strong boundaries both with both themselves & friendship choice.

Hmm so bad things don’t ever happen to well brought up children with strong boundaries then?

And I do trust my teens, to a point, same as anyone, but less so other people’s offspring.

Thanks for the replies.
I did let them last year but was blindsided at 11pm and mum's of the girls thought it was no problem (they're used to teen sleepover s) so I just floated along with it but seeing the responses I am happy now to say that they won't this time. I don't think lads wil care to be honest and may be relieved.
I was that teen who had poor boundaries and loads of crappy sexual experiences. I was lucky as was never raped (that I remember in any case as was passed out more than once with a man) but I'd like better for my kids (have a younger girl too) and worse case scenario it could go horribly wrong for them too.
Going to broach the whole consent conversation with the lads. Have spoken about sex with them but have never gone into ins and outs of consent (pardon the pun).

Also although I trust them in lots of ways, I don't think they're mature enough. The 16 yo is a total dote, kind and sweet but is diagnosed with inattentive adhd and can be very impulsive and poor judgement at times.
I know things can happen before bedtime but being in PJs maybe sharing a duvet is putting them in a vulnerable position I thi m

My 18 year old DS had many mixed sleep overs from age 15. Outside in tents, downstairs in our living rooms on put up beds. But they are a really nice friendship group and not sure I'd allow it with people I don't know tbh. If they get on and everyone is okay with it fine but don't force the issue.

I trust my teens

what I don’t “trust” are the hormones coursing through their bodies, which makes them quite exposed to making decisions and taking actions that are perhaps not actually in their interests