Stupid shit people forgot to mention about parenting

[BlahBl4h]

Mine at the moment is just how many times you can be expected to watch the same fucking movie over and over and over and over.

I want to peel my eyes off.

Anyone?

Nipples can blister. That’s enough

Not being able to even have a shit in peace. My DD (7) will also bring the dog into the bathroom as well, using the poor dog as an excuse that it wanted to see me.

Saying 'Mum' before every single thing she wants to ask me in a quickfire question and answer, even if we are the only two people there.

Waiting until I sit down to eat to decide that she actually DOES want some dinner now, or that mine looks really nice and it's now her favourite (after literally turning up her nose in disdain when offered some of her own), and she just HAS to share mine!

Also finding yourself quoting cartoons, I once told my boss people were causing confusion and delay!! Thanks fat controller!

Singing cartoon theme tunes in the shower!

We still refer to people being Useful Engines if they have been helpful. Youngest is 9...

Echo chamber conversations:

Mummy?
Yes?
Guess what?
What?
You know Mo Salah?
Yes?
Do you know what about him?
What?
He is the best footballer in the world!
Wow, amazing!
Do you think he is the best footballer in the world Mum?
Well i don't really know, I am not that expert ....
Who do you think is the best ...
Hmm ... Lionel Messi?
No, he has gone bad since he transferred to [some club I have never heard of] - who do you really think is best?
Hmm .... Neymar?
Hmm no definitely not, he is not the best any more - who do you think is the best?
[cottoning on] - erm, Mo Salah?
Yes!! Mo Salah is the best Mummy!

😅

Being tested on how many times you can hear the words fart, poo and bum in a day!

It's so true, but also funny to read the messages.

That when it comes to a 3 year old 'no' is definitely not a full sentence.

You will learn instantaneous risk assessment, just by glancing around. Sharp edges, protruding radiator controls, a reachable glass, hot drinks, cooling oven glass.

It's no wonder you have to follow a toddler around until you toddler proof your home.

You speak the truth. They don't even need water. They just shed crumbs

Yes! Always amazes me how many crumbs my 5yr old can make, i think she stores them to spread round the house!

That they will love a particular foodstuff until the very moment you stock the cupboards with 20 of them. Then they'll regard it as they would a cup of cold sick.

That's why I've had a pot of rice pudding for lunch 23 days in a row.

I have 5 boys and my stock answer is this is not McDonald's,there's no menu.

Also 3 of them on the carseat having a row cause somebody was looking out their window.

I also have what Iove to call "count the chips" he watches everything on everyone's plate.And god forbid someone has 1 chip more than him.🤣

I love this thread. I can relate to so many. Yes to the crumbs! They haven't even sat at the table today and there are crumbs everywhere! I am an expert in ants as dc1 is obsessed and I know a lot about minecraft.

Mine are 10 and 8, I am dreading the teenage years from what I've read on here.

There’s an episode of The Middle where the mum introduces office hours. If they want something or need something signed or want to make a request for something to be washed or whatever, it has to go to her during office hours. This thread has made me think maybe she was on to something and I wonder how young I can start 😅

I miss my evenings.
Get the kids to bed have a bit of peace.
Nope not happening now.
They do sleep in thank god,so I have some peace in the morning.
But drinking wine in the morning is frowned upon🤣🍷

They remember nothing of the years you spent taking them to the park, picnics, endless building of princess castle/lego castle etc.

But recount the times you didn't take them.

They don't remember the endless meals cooked but only the few bad meals.

Babies always have poo at the worst time.

That you'll get to the parenting tweens and teens stage and you miss these kinds of things where your children want to speak to you, want to do things with you, and want your attention 😭

How many different strangers will tell you where you and your children are failing them.
Or trying to give you or your children labels because your child isn't meeting their expectations.
None of these people are trained or experts in this area but their diagnosis just keep coming.

I didn't know I'd be texting my 18 yr old

Are you alive, are you coming home this week or September sometime?

Although it is really nice that after 4 years of teenage madness, that he has a gf and he stays at her house a lot 😀😀

Spending years not going to loo in peace.

Years of mild illnesses - they catch everything bring it home and even if your really ill you still have to parent (some lucky people have families who step in but it's not the norm)

The cuddles do stop - a friend with older children told us this when our were babies toddlers at one point I did feel touched out- and they were cuddly all through childhood - mid teens it's so rare now.

Cooking gets old - I have years let of meals and I really start to hate it.

Few years after children no long need it you might find yourself absently rocking a doll or something or speaking in mother ease/third person.

Not found the teen years that bad yet - they're often in their rooms and I like watching things om TV with them and having them round - but exam stress is awful and doesn't just affect them.

Oh that last line. My DS is years away from this but still, it got me teary eyed just thinking about it.

You will never be ‘done’, and yet be completely and totally ‘DONE’ at the same time, all times, forever.

They are and it doesn’t get any better, wait until you have teens.

That at some stage EVERYTHING you do will annoy your off-spring. Latest for me is that I dont butter toast correctly. Who knew there was a correct way!