Stupid shit people forgot to mention about parenting

[BlahBl4h]

Mine at the moment is just how many times you can be expected to watch the same fucking movie over and over and over and over.

I want to peel my eyes off.

Anyone?

Children will say literally any words just so that they can keep talking. Any manner of utter shite and gibberish is fine, as long as they command your full attention.

Also, you will spend thousands on family holidays only to get there and discover that they are bored of the swimming pool after day two, won't eat the food, can't sleep in the heat, and turn into grumpy little bastards for the duration.

You'll swear never to do it again, then do it all again 12 months later.

I love that you called it the chewbacca summer

We had the "summer of Chloe" when my toddler insisted on being called Chloe. It's not her name. She had full on tantrums about it because no one would call her Chloe and we kept using her (perfectly lovely) actual name.

I refer you back to my previous comment about how easily you forget.....

Seriously it's just a lighthearted thread 🤷🏻‍♀️

FFS.

Are you so devoid of imagination that you think these posts are 100% representative of our real-life parenting styles?

Also, most people still take their teens on family holidays. I mean, obviously they don't have such speshully close relationships as you, but we do try.

That toddlers are the funniest people in the world.

People will give you endless stupid unwanted advice It’s ok to fantasise about murdering them

this has already started in pregnancy 🤦🏻‍♀️

The dread words,

’We’re putting on A Show. You sit there and watch.’

Mine are in their twenties now and I still get flashbacks.

This, with all the bells on

Mammy?
Yes love?
Mammy?
Yes love?
What's for dinner?
You've just had dinner.
No, what's for dinner tomorrow?
I don't know yet.
Oh. Mammy?
Yes
What's for breakfast?

That child is obsessed with knowing what meals are coming. He's three.

Rule one ..... forget the rules

4 DC here and they are like chalk and cheese. DS 2 cleans his own room, brushes teeth 3 times a day for 5 minutes, showers twice on hot days, changes clothes frequently. Does unprompted music practice/study etc - perfectionist/intense kid.
His brother- I struggle to get him to change his undies more than twice a week, socks or even brush his teeth. Loved by peers and teachers, completely unresponsive and horizontal at home. As laid back as they come.

1 DD utterly lovely child/baby and teacher pleaser, top at everything, tried hard etc. Hits teenage years and morphs into the Demagorgon temporarily, remorths into a butterfly a few years later.

I can only conclude that a huge amount of parental influence and control is a fallacy. They are who they are fundamentally and quiet observance at a comfortable distance as to their metamorphoses through their infant/child/teen/adult stages is the way to go. You can nurture and water the plant with all the love you have but some will turn into cacti, others into orchids , roses, daisies etc. The fun is watching who they become and respecting that and letting go at the right time, which will be different for each kid. You can’t water and prune an orchid the same way as a rose. They are both beautiful.

I remember my dd as a toddler fast asleep in my bed, I was looking at her thinking how lovely she was and then her eyes opened, and she started talking the second her eyes opened, full on chatting away non stop from the second she woke up. How do they do that.

They would also wake me up by talking to me and expect me to have heard and understood everything they said even prior to me actually waking up. They still do this as teenagers.

Yes! This x 1000!

That you will have to remember everything, for everyone, every time you leave the house until your youngest DC is at least 11. If you are organisationally challenged, as I am, you will forget a lot of stuff and be struck by endless guilt until you start putting everything, and I mean everything, in your phone with an alarm to remind you. One day, if you do this, some other harried parent might say those immortal words to you: 'You're always so organised!'. 😂😂😂

I'm glad this isn't just me 🤣 thought I was raising the most ungrateful, spoilt kids in the world. Week 2 of summer, DS6 - hes had a class party, soft play, meals out, cinema every playground in the area and beyond..then I say you need to spend and hour with gran...he's says 'THIS IS THE WORST SUMMER EVER' 🙄🙄🙄

That's beautifully put @aposseadesse!

That mobile babies are attracted to wires, I don’t know why, but all of mine have been, I try to conceal them but somehow they KNOW where they are and are able to extract them. They are literally the most boring thing ever but all my DC would fling brightly coloured toys out of the way to get at a black wire!

what are you doing mummy?

I'm driving

what are you doing mummy

I'm driving

Where's daddy

at work

Where's daddy

at work

where's daddy 😫AT WORK

what are you doing mummy 😫STILL DRIVING DARLING 🙄

@BogRollBOGOF I'm with you, just lean into the warhammer, painting the little fellas is quite relaxing and satisfying, it turns out.

For those with littlies - hold on, DS was a real terror up until about 8 (almost banned from after school club level of terror). Now he's 13 he's pretty biddable and well mannered, eats almost anything, cooks for us and is enthusiastic and appreciative of family activities. We'll see how it lasts going into teenage years!

Socks, random, dirty socks everywhere. And the tat, small plastic bits of toy crap, all over the floor, ALL the time. Toy parts and other random bits that will never again be reunited with their original set but that show up on the floor, sofa, hallway, stairs, bathroom, bedroom, garden FOREVER AND EVER.

THE SMELL.

Farts. Feet. Armpits. Urine (in the loo room). And, of course, vats of Lynx emitting noxious clouds that barge through the whole house.

Teenage boys just exude smells.

And towel issues...

I found myself earnestly telling ds1 (26) the other day that for the love of fucking Christ, if he didn't stop putting the hand towel back on the top of the radiator all scrunged up I was going to murder him in his sleep. With a hand towel. (He patted me on the head and told me it sounded like I needed a Nice Cup of Tea).

And that the sound of a teenage boy sobbing his heart out over his first love would tear your heart to shreds.

I felt this in my soul

That most child-related activities make me feel like it's something I'd only do if I was in an institution.

See:
Lego
Hama beads
Bracelet making
Painting
Crochet
And on and on and on

I remember spending one Hogmanay doing some bead shit, and thinking of all the people out doing actual fun things with other adults. I was murderous.

That even though you have used black out blinds, gro-clocks and filled the cot full of toys, you’re toddler will still wake up at 5.45 am every day, and scream until you come into them.

Stop doing it then until they learn some manners. Seriously, it might make it easier in the long run.