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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To walk out of a pub and leave my boyfriend sat alone

100 replies

fairyfly · 19/01/2008 17:49

because he is acting like a huge cock.We're on holiday, he just called my a stupid fat b@tch. I need comments like that like i need a second anus.

I have enough on my plate. Thing about men is you trust them as a best mate but they can come out with the nastiest shit when a woman would just keep it in.

OP posts:
controlfreakygobshite · 19/01/2008 17:50

some holiday. and for you

Beauregard · 19/01/2008 17:51

Why the hell would he call you that fairyfly?

Fireflyfairy2 · 19/01/2008 17:53

The only unreasonable thing you did was not landing a pint on his head before you walked out.

lulumama · 19/01/2008 17:58

YANBU

has he had the good grace to call you and apologise?

pelafina · 19/01/2008 17:59

Message withdrawn

Original poster
fairyfly · 19/01/2008 18:01

nope, sat on my macbook alone in a hotel room.

Wanted to have fun with him.

Not allowed, everything i do is embarassing to him, what is that all about? i told him to just leave me. Hence the stupid fat comment. I meant it, if he is after something else, go find it. A stupid thin b@tch for instance.

OP posts:
DoubleBluff · 19/01/2008 18:02

I wouldn't just leave him alone in the pub. I would leave him alone full stop. Wwanker.

Mommalove · 19/01/2008 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
fairyfly · 19/01/2008 18:05

funny thing about love is you don't leave,i think we should discuss why he is a being a twat though, see if we can rectify the unerlying issue. If not, i can start flirting again, woooohoooo

OP posts:
discoverlife · 19/01/2008 18:05

YANBU. I would have poured the pint over his head.

Original poster
fairyfly · 19/01/2008 18:06

What is yanbu.

May i mention here that it could be to do with St. Stella the patron saint of wife beating.

OP posts:
FlllightAttendant · 19/01/2008 18:06

I remember he was being a nobhead a week or two ago, as well...I'm amazed you haven't left yet!

FlllightAttendant · 19/01/2008 18:08

You Are Not Being Unreasonable. But I DO think you are being unreasonable (YABU) to put up with his shit for more than about, oh say another hour.

Why don't you just get shot of him? (I know, I know, you love him)

Original poster
fairyfly · 19/01/2008 18:10

Really, you think someone calling you names is a reason to leave. I don't. Perhaps thats where i go wrong.

Anyway he was telling me lots of stuff, abut whats wrong with me, then he got cross as i wouldn't speak. I could have rose to it. Could not be arsed.

OP posts:
Bluestocking · 19/01/2008 18:13

FF, if he spends a lot of time telling you what's wrong with you, he is a dickhead and not worthy of your time and attention. But I expect you already know this in your heart of hearts.

spicemonster · 19/01/2008 18:14

Why would you want to be with someone who thinks there's lots of stuff wrong with you? That seems like an excellent reason to leave to me

anorak · 19/01/2008 18:15

ff what is up with him?

He's having one of his commitment crises in the run-up to moving in with you isn't he?

All the same I never call anyone names like this (not to their face anyway ) and I don't expect anyone to call me such names. You were right to walk out. He will be left there thinking about what he's said. He'll think twice about doing the same again if he thinks you're going to walk out. And he needs to be told that it hurts you to be called such things (even though it's obvious, sometimes the obvious needs stating). I would ask him how he would feel if you called him some equally rude and hurtful name.

FlllightAttendant · 19/01/2008 18:16

Not up to me FF, but it does get a bit frustrating when someone talks about their boyfriend quite a lot in terms of what he has said to hurt them, and then sits there putting up with it. It makes you kind of give up. There's nothing I can say that will help. All you can do is remove yourself from the situation, but you don't want to, so it is like watching someone bashing their head against a wall.

Forgive my bluntness!

controlfreakygobshite · 19/01/2008 18:17

seriously ff, calling you names / telling you what's wrong with you are both excelent reasons to tell him to piss off imo. why would you put up with that?? shows a complete lack of respect for you.

Original poster
fairyfly · 19/01/2008 18:18

Yeh, i know. Would be happier without him, he has turned into a heavy weight on my shoulder. I expect though, as i always do, if we don't get better, if i do cry, if he does want to change me, we will split up eventually anyway. Or.........we could just improve and help each other do that, something that never gets discussed on mn. It's always leave. I think i have more respect in myself and more in him, want to work at it. For a while longer anyhow. I adore his good qualities.

OP posts:
FlllightAttendant · 19/01/2008 18:19

It's like you're hanging around with hm saying 'you can be rude to me because I won't leave you'.

If you like it, fine. Don't moan about it. If you don't like it, leave him and find a decent bloke!

Argghhhhhhhhhh

sorry I am not usually this intolerant. Ignore me. It's not you, it's me etc etc

FlllightAttendant · 19/01/2008 18:20

Cross posted there as you may have noticed...

I'm useless today...

Original poster
fairyfly · 19/01/2008 18:21

flight att. i think you have me confused x

Hi anorak, yep babe, you are absolutely right

I only started a post as what else does one do in a hotel with their lap top?

OP posts:
Ulysees · 19/01/2008 18:22

FF I dumped a guy the other night. 3rd date and we were discussing fitness as he has a 6 pack. I said 'oh I should get a bit fitter' and he rubbed my tummy and said 'I can soon get rid of this and tighten that arse'
I said only thing I'll be getting rid of is you pet. And also ranted a good bit about get yourself to the f-ing gym for a gym freak if you don't like curves....etc......

Get rid FF and have some self respect hun. It's really hard to do but you're worth more than being spoken to like shit.

FlllightAttendant · 19/01/2008 18:22

It doesn't get discussed because loads of us have tried that approach and it doesn't really work.