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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the ‘lonely’ man probably didn’t want his photo shared

152 replies

NCAUG · 03/08/2022 18:37

I imagine a lot of people have seen this, v popular Facebook group. A group member has shared a photo of her son on holiday. The son saw a man sitting alone and kept him company. Mum took a picture and shared it. Cue lots of comments about how wonderful the boy is and I am sure he is. BUT - AIBU to think this is really not on?

For one thing, the man probably wasn’t lonely, just wanted to go about his business. Personally, I really wouldn’t thank a random kid for coming over and talking to me. Then the taking photos part is definitely not on. Both are highly intrusive and rude.

AIBU and a miserable cow?

OP posts:
CTPT · 03/08/2022 20:08

SequinsandStilettos · 03/08/2022 19:54

Question: how do you get photos taken down from Facebook. I noticed the other day I was on a reel of photos taken at a public event. Had never even seen the camera and it is the most unflattering RBF pic I have ever seen. Do I ask for it to be removed and look like a diva, or do I hope it has already faded into obscurity. Can amateur photographers just take and post pics without permission?

I'm pretty certain if it's in a public place or event they can and don't need permission.. unfortunately.

LunchBoxPolice · 03/08/2022 20:12

She’s turned commenting off now because of my “negative comments”

BlueWhat · 03/08/2022 20:15

Fuck sake! I often go on holiday abroad alone. Fucking love it, leave the teenagers at home to fight each other instead of me.

Love the peace and tranquillity of NO FUCKING KIDS! So if some random kid came up to me while I was alone and enjoying my solitude .....

I couldn't be held responsible for my actions!

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 03/08/2022 20:16

How is virtue signalling on here about how annoying things on social media are any different though? 😂

SpangledShambles · 03/08/2022 20:16

Urgh. When I get a bit of time to myself I want time to myself- who are these insatiably needy twats who foist their mind wanks on the rest of the world?

SeriousAlligator · 03/08/2022 20:16

I am a bit of a loner and the type that likes going to restaurants/pubs etc alone. I would absolutely hate this-I have had similar before and It's actually really difficult for me to tell someone thank you for their kind offer but no, I am fine on my own.

DorritLittle · 03/08/2022 20:16

NCAUG · 03/08/2022 19:09

I think what really annoyed me was I know how I’d feel if I was out on my own and someone’s kid came up and joined me. I won’t lie, I’d be really pissed off!

Me too OP. I love being alone in public! Why is it lonely? It's therapeutic to get out and have time by yourself.

My DM who does live on her own would also absolutely not appreciate being approached by anyone wanting to do her a good deed.

Spudina · 03/08/2022 20:17

Really I was just on it and couldn’t see a negative one. Definitely wrong to share. Some people are idiots.

blebbleb · 03/08/2022 20:17

I'd be pretty put out if someone assumed I was lonely as I was sitting on my own and started trying to make conversation. Very patronising. I expect boy meant well. Mum very attention seeking.

Inmyownlittlecorner · 03/08/2022 20:18

I considered reporting it because it annoyed me so much. The picture wasn’t needed to back up what the poster claimed happened, I also noticed that the DC’s face wasn’t showing, just the “lonely” man.

DorritLittle · 03/08/2022 20:18

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 03/08/2022 20:16

How is virtue signalling on here about how annoying things on social media are any different though? 😂

How is thinking something is annoying virtue signalling?

sqirrelfriends · 03/08/2022 20:19

Basically it’s like saying “look at me, how amazing am I spending time with this lonely loser.”

When in reality they probably just want them to fuck off.

I would be furious, I get so little time alone, it’s precious.

SpangledShambles · 03/08/2022 20:19

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 03/08/2022 20:16

How is virtue signalling on here about how annoying things on social media are any different though? 😂

nah, here’s it’s Letting off steam from your true feelings – the social media twats are just fuck wits

Viostep · 03/08/2022 20:20

That sounds awful. It takes a special kind of narcissist to film yourself doing "good deeds" to get social media attention.

I have a toddler and am somewhat introverted so I cherish any alone time I get. I'd be annoyed if someone else's kid came over to chat when I was enjoying a coffee alone, and be furious if someone took a picture and posted it online. As if I'm some kind of sad case 🙄.

Don't get me started on the people who post pics of their sick children for attention...

goldfinchonthelawn · 03/08/2022 20:21

justabigdisco · 03/08/2022 18:49

I haven’t seen the post but there was a bit of a thing a couple of years ago with people taking photos of themselves with a homeless person having bought them a sandwich/coffee. I found that really distasteful.

Oh how revolting. i'm glad I never saw these. Not sure i could have stayed silent.

powershowerforanhour · 03/08/2022 20:26

Not a new thing- Matthew 6:4

(And thus proves Ecclesiastes 1:9)

Richenda · 03/08/2022 20:30

Reminds me of Zoella’s “random old man” insta post, as if everyone else is just a backdrop to one’s own life.

Idontknowwhattothink · 03/08/2022 20:34

iklboo · 03/08/2022 18:46

'Look at me! Aren't I great! Look at me doing this thing for likes & shares! I'm such a great person aren't I? No, it's not a filter. I always look like my eyes are on the side of my head, have no nose, lips like a bouncy castle and covered in Vaseline. But you're not looking at me being great!

3 to 1 mum saw man on his own & told her son to go over to him so she could post to social meeja. Poor bloke. What would she have done if he hadn't been so accommodating? Probably vilified him

I got a great abs workout laughing at this post

velvetvixen · 03/08/2022 20:34

powershowerforanhour · 03/08/2022 20:26

Not a new thing- Matthew 6:4

(And thus proves Ecclesiastes 1:9)

Is that 'charity vaunteth not itself, it is not puffed up'?

FictionalCharacter · 03/08/2022 20:36

DorritLittle · 03/08/2022 18:45

No you are right, it is really patronising. And intrusive and rude. There was a woman who was videod and tiktokked being given a bunch of flowers she didn't want a while back and she was quite furious about it.

That one was awful, but so many people were all “awww, how lovely!” and flaming anyone who said it wasn’t OK to do that for a social media post. Didn’t he pretend to get her to just hold the flowers while he put his coat on or something, and then say no they’re actually for you? And he thought that was a wonderful thing to do?

PandoraP · 03/08/2022 20:41

So I could sit alone on a bench minding my own business and some influencer might send their kid over to sit with me 😐

LikeAStar1994 · 03/08/2022 20:42

It's all for the "Aww Hun. That is amazing babes" comments.

Fake as hell.

Annoyingkidsmusic · 03/08/2022 20:45

Just seen this

poor bloke is just trying to enjoy his cheap Spanish white wine in peace. If only we could teach our kids appropriate boundaries, eh…

kateandme · 03/08/2022 20:51

SnoozyLucy7 · 03/08/2022 18:55

It’s awful how every action, every gesture has to be documented and constantly shared on the internet for internet points, for the whole world to see. I would be livid if I was that man, but I would also be livid if I was that woman’s child. Parents posting pictures incessantly of their children, on various social media, from the moment they were conceived, and yet the children have no say, no control over their own images that their parents are posting.

Why is there a need to share every aspect of our lives like this? Surely it must be a degree of narcissism or similar.

This was always my issue with the mrs Hinch obsession.okay one of the issues.

Vikinga · 03/08/2022 20:52

What a stupid idiot that woman is