To think the ‘lonely’ man probably didn’t want his photo shared

[NCAUG]

I imagine a lot of people have seen this, v popular Facebook group. A group member has shared a photo of her son on holiday. The son saw a man sitting alone and kept him company. Mum took a picture and shared it. Cue lots of comments about how wonderful the boy is and I am sure he is. BUT - AIBU to think this is really not on?

For one thing, the man probably wasn’t lonely, just wanted to go about his business. Personally, I really wouldn’t thank a random kid for coming over and talking to me. Then the taking photos part is definitely not on. Both are highly intrusive and rude.

AIBU and a miserable cow?

I hate these sort of videos. I watched the one where an older woman was given flowers bY a young man and she was labelled a 'sad old lady'. She actually came out and said she didn't appreciate the video of her all over social media and was really offended as she only found out when a relative of hers contacted her to tell her. She wasn't a sad old lonely woman at all, I believe she was married with children and grandchildren, just having a coffee, minding her own business.

Social media has created a worrying new level of narcissism, and people actually think we should be grateful for it.

Someone should abuse the editing facility on Wikipedia 😁

Wasn't there some piece of shit who filmed himself giving children really great gifts then snatched them back once the cameras were off?

Did the man look grateful for the attention though?

I get what you mean, I hate those that do a good deed for someone only to brag about it later!

I think a lot of us have been so wrapped up in ourselves over the past couple of years that some of the elder generation do feel left out. If the man was grateful, then I guess its not so bad, tacky but not the worst thing. If he was visibly annoyed and the woman carried on regardless then yes, it was completely out of order.

I'm always appalled by posts/videos of people being 'charitable' publicly like this. That's not about being charitable; that's about getting people to tell you how great you are. Ick.

I'm quite often out and about on my own. I enjoy the peace and quiet and would be fairly annoyed if a child disturbed me. And absolutely mortified if their mum then posted it on FB saying I was sad and lonely!

Nobody should post photos anywhere of anyone unless they have got permission to do so. It's really intrusive and sometimes dangerous

It's awful.

Hah I just saw that and commented along the lines of what you said. Then came on here and saw this thread.
It’s gross.

Absolutely!! I leave the house to avoid my children, I don’t need someone else’s disturbing me then thinking they’re doing me a favour!

Yep hated it. Look how wonderful my son and our family are but the man doesn't speak much english and has no idea what is going on but I'll post his photo all over the internet for validation without any idea of what his story is.

Not particularly no, they poster also commented that they didn't speak much English so perhaps couldn't even articulate to tell the child to leave them alone or understand why the child was sat with them..

It wasn't Keanu Reeves trying to eat his sandwich in peace (again) was it?

I always hated this, even long before social media.

I remember once me and a friend where walking into town and an elderly person had slipped on ice and hurt themselves right infront of us (possibly broke a hip).

We (along with a few others) stopped to help (purely in my mind) because its the decent thing to do, and a dozen other people had stopped too and we did nothing special (we where 16 at the time so hardly train medics).

One person phoned an ambulance, another person offered their coat to keep her warm, we just sat with her for a bit until someone else took over - no one person did anything amazing or above what any concerned person might do for an injured old lady and frankly we where probably (looking back on it) more in the way than helping (as it likely didnt require a dozen people and we had no skill or resourses to bring anything to the situation).

My friend however went on and on loudly and publicly patting herself on the back and telling everyone how we 'rushed' to 'save' an old lady who 'could have died' (as if we single handled brought her back from the dead or something) for about a year and I cringed and died inside every damn time she brought it up out of the blue.

If camera phones had been a thing then I have no doubt she would have posted it online, she is in general quite a caring, loving and well meaning person who would help anyone but she also loves to be a social butterfly and the center of the party and realised this story got her lots of attention.

I find its just exploitation of people, sometime vunerable people at their lowest point for your own self gratatude and no need to turn them into gossip.

As for charity nobody seems to give to charity without announcing it anymore, its become the 'norm'.

Just look at the trend for 'a donation has been made in your honor by the bride and groom to (insert random charity)' thing thats become popular at weddings.

It has NOTHING to do with the wedding, if the bride and groom want to donate to charity they absoloutly can but theres no need to announce it or make it out like you have done it 'for' the guests.

When it started a decade ago there was a pretty split view with a lot of people insisting its tacky to announce charities at your wedding but now its just common and normal.

I re-watched that one recently. IT did not end well for her did it......

The other one with the robot guard "dog" is terrifying!

Question: how do you get photos taken down from Facebook. I noticed the other day I was on a reel of photos taken at a public event. Had never even seen the camera and it is the most unflattering RBF pic I have ever seen. Do I ask for it to be removed and look like a diva, or do I hope it has already faded into obscurity. Can amateur photographers just take and post pics without permission?

And what if the reverse happened - and the "sad lonely man" went to sit alongside the child?
(Very sad world we are in.)

While were on I also HATE videos where people video a child or animal etc... struggling, when they are standing RIGHT there but would rather video it.

like they post a video where are only a meter away videoing a distressed and panicing kitten that cant find a way to clim out of a pond while the mother cat runs around crying trying to find a way to get to it for like 10 minutes ending in the moment mama cat is finally successful with a 'feel good ending' thing rather than you know just grabbing that kitten which would take a second but hey then they wouldnt have a video to post.

Eh, some of us leave the house to get away from our own kids. I would be less than happy if some random kid came over to me. Get lost like. And as for taking the picture... the mother clearly has issues of her own with insecurities if she needs to post stuff like that to pretend to the world she is raising a great kid. Sod off.

I'm on the group and there are so many posts that make me wonder what on earth people are thinking.

People are posting about their young daughters intimate hygiene and periods. It's completely unfair on the girls.

Also, a packet of biscuits is not a snack, it's a treat. I want to write that on all the snack box posts but I'm too polite. 😶

I also read this.. thought it was bloody weird tbh. I'd hate a random kid to come and sit with me whilst I was eating. The comments saying how her kid was so fantastic amd that it gave them goosebumps lol. Weird!!

Going against the grain here, but I think it's really lovely the boy wanted to keep the man company. And the mum wanted to share what he did because she was proud. I do agree she shouldn't have posted his photo without permission though.

I did think about pointing out that encouraging kids to go and chat to men on their own is probably not great from a safety point of view apart from anything else.

That group is mad. So many people crying.

I have found my people

I hate seeing photos of -

"here am I helping someone vulnerable who probably didn't want to lose their privacy and dignity in exchange for a sandwich"

'here is my child before / after their surgery"

"here's a photo of our local homeless man, affectionately known as Organic J (but never asked to be identified, or requested help). How can we help him?"