AIBU/rude/outdated to ask the sex of a baby?

[Bobby80]

Bumped into an ex work colleague who is 7ish months pregnant. She was talking about how well her pregnancy was going etc and how good she was feeling in comparison to the previous time. I asked if she knew what she was having to which she replied...

"I've always thought that's an odd question, basically asking if my child will have a penis or vagina".

I was slightly taken back/embarrassed as I hadn't intended to be rude so I apologised and explained I didn't mean to offend her. We chatted after that so she wasn't overly annoyed but obviously enough just make her point.

Reflecting on this- is it odd to ask? I have never really thought about it until now!

You can't imagine why anyone would want to know. Fair enough not wanting to yourself but you really can't think of a single reason why someone else might? Sounds like you struggle a bit with seeing things from others' points of view.

Anyway, read any of the countless "should I find out?" threads on here and you'll find many reasons why people choose to find out.

She's nutty to be upset by such an innocent question. There's so little you can say or ask about a baby, especially before it's even born. It's completely normal to ask about the sex/if they're finding our or leaving it for a surprise. What else are you meant to ask?!

Also, for most people out of the womb (and over a certain age), it's usually immediately obvious just looking at someone if they're male or female, which according to this weirdo boils down to "which sex organ they possess". Kind of a weird way to look at things.

Your colleague is nuts (and probably part of the #nodebate and Cancel Culture cult)

Avoid

She sounds like a knob!

Somebody once asked an Aunt of mine if she knew what she was having. She was a little fed up with being pregnant at that point and responded, ‘I don’t care if it’s a set of jugs, I just want it out’.
Shes being a bit odd, OP. It’s a normal question and there are better ways of responding if you don’t want to say/are fed up with being asked.

Seems a normal question. Some people prefer not to know until the baby is born; many nowadays would prefer not to do all the blue-versus-pink stuff. But her response is pretty bizarre; not to mention rude.

That's a very normal question and not rude at all! I have four children and a man once asked me if they all had the same father. That was rude!!

Totally normal question.

No one has to answer if they don't want to, but it's not rude to ask.

"I've always thought that's an odd question, basically asking if my child will have a penis or vagina".

You should have replied with "well maybe it'll have both!" followed by a tinkly laugh.

YANBU. It's a fairly polite question to feign interest in someone else's pregnancy.

I meant I can't imagine why anybody would want to know the sex of my child, and why people would want to know the sex of someone else's child before it is born, not the actual parents wanting to know.

How precious you must be 😂

@CoalCraft ^^ Further to my above comment. I acknowledged that I was in the minority, but I am also aware that many parents wish to find out. However I do not need to know something which will have no bearing on my life and have met many parents who choose not to reveal the sex of their unborn child.

Because asking will magically reveal the gender?

When I was pregnant with my first, I could not quite understand what they mean by "do you know what you are having?" (not a native speaker) so answered "a baby" every time. They must have thought I am extra dim.

She's ridiculous. It's a polite way of showing interest, no one actually cares.

Totally normal and usual question to ask, midwives even ask this when you’re in Labour.