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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you find this out of order or just a harmless joke?

127 replies

Sishirunak · 03/08/2022 08:02

I don't drink at all and haven't for years, not because of any alcohol issues, I just react badly to alcohol, can't tolerate a lot and hate being hungover.
Anyway my partner does and I met him and his friend in a bar this week. My partner just had a pint of orange juice which is unusual for him. I asked if it was just orange, he said yes, and told me to finish it as he didn't want the last bit.

I took a drink of it and immediately realised it was beer. They both burst out laughing and had been in on it. I just laughed but looking back do you think this was a bit of a dick move, or was I just being sensitive?

OP posts:
TiniestClanger · 03/08/2022 08:04

That’s a dick move - both tricking you and laughing at you with his mate.

Is he normally this horrible? Might be time to get rid.

Violettaa · 03/08/2022 08:04

Total dick move. Really, really unkind.

Sorry that happened x

Goingtogoinsane · 03/08/2022 08:05

A bit childish but not the end of the world

EmmaH2022 · 03/08/2022 08:06

horrible thing to do.

TiniestClanger · 03/08/2022 08:06

Goingtogoinsane · 03/08/2022 08:05

A bit childish but not the end of the world

In relationship terms I actually do think this is the end of the world unless your standards are on the floor.

He deliberately gave her a substance she avoids, without her knowledge, knowing she wouldn’t want it, having planned this with a friend who he then laughed with.

That says a lot about a person, none of it good.

TibetanTerrah · 03/08/2022 08:06

It was mean of them but "the last bit" of a pint isn't going to do you any harm. Also curious as to how you thought beer was orange juice, they're completely different colours, and beer has a distinctive smell.

QueSyrahSyrah · 03/08/2022 08:07

If you were a recovering alcoholic it would be a dick move, but I think in this case it's just a bit of a not-very-funny joke.

Out of interest what kind of beer looks exactly like Orange Juice?!?

Clarinet1 · 03/08/2022 08:07

They were being idiots. Who knows what underlying issues someone might have (eg interactions with prescription drugs, recovering alcoholic) that could make alcohol dangerous for them. Your partner should respect your choices, not act like a schoolboy.

Society · 03/08/2022 08:07

He was being a bit of a knob but did he expect you to realise it wasn't really orange juice? How does beer look like orange juice? Orange juice is quite a lot thicker than beer. And smells considerably different so you would notice when your nose was near the glass surely.

oopsfellover · 03/08/2022 08:08

Yeah I think this is a bit of a dick move. It
would make me lose some respect for him, especially the laughing. Have you spoken about it since?

Original poster
Sishirunak · 03/08/2022 08:08

It definitely looked like orange! I hadn't known there was one either until then

OP posts:
alnawire · 03/08/2022 08:08

It's more than a dock move. 2 things here. His disrespect for your choice not to drink, and his disrespect for you as a person. This is high school level 'prank', inappropriate. Doing something 'wrong' to you to show off to his mate.

There is no way I would continue a relationship with a man who had such little regard for me.

Original poster
Sishirunak · 03/08/2022 08:09

I do also take beta blockers which are probably not good to mix with alcohol

OP posts:
alnawire · 03/08/2022 08:09

If you were a recovering alcoholic it would be a dick move, but I think in this case it's just a bit of a not-very-funny joke.

So a recovering alcoholic should be respected but not someone who simply chooses not to drink alcohol?

Rumplestrumpet · 03/08/2022 08:10

Such a stupid and infantile thing to do. Sounds like something teenage boys would do. I'd find it very unattractive

Society · 03/08/2022 08:10

Surely you know him well enough to know he wouldn't be drinking a pint of orange juice in a bar?

Do you mean orange squash rather than orange juice?

Begoniasforever · 03/08/2022 08:10

I’ve never seen a beer that looks like orange juice. Is it really a big deal? It was just a sip of beer.

Original poster
Sishirunak · 03/08/2022 08:11

He said he wanted a few days off beer so I thought he'd gone for an orange juice, plus he'd said he was a bit skint

OP posts:
Begoniasforever · 03/08/2022 08:11

Also I e never come across one that smells like orange juice either

Dotcheck · 03/08/2022 08:12

You had a mouthful, so I’m sure it won’t interfere with beta blockers.

Also curious how you couldn’t see it was not O J
However, I would tell him you didn’t like being made fun of that way

alnawire · 03/08/2022 08:13

@TiniestClanger

I'm trying to work out, if like you say, peoples standards are on the floor or if they are just being deliberately obtuse. The minimising is sad.

parrotonthesofa · 03/08/2022 08:13

Well it was a bit dicky but I'm not sure I'd get worked up over it.
I don't drink because it causes me migraines but I think I'd laugh over this.

FrancescaContini · 03/08/2022 08:13

I’d be furious. It’s not okay at all. Is he usually such an immature arsehole?

He wanted to humiliate you.

QueSyrahSyrah · 03/08/2022 08:14

@alnawire He's not dropped a vodka into her soft drink or a switched a alcohol free cider for a real one, it's just a little sip of what will mostly be his spit by the end of the pint. I'd have thought he expected the OP to smell the difference before she got close to actually drinking it?

Honestly I couldn't get worked up about it beyond telling him I didn't think it was funny and asking for an apology. If it's something he then goes on to do repeatedly, there's the bigger problem.

FrancescaContini · 03/08/2022 08:15

Dotcheck · 03/08/2022 08:12

You had a mouthful, so I’m sure it won’t interfere with beta blockers.

Also curious how you couldn’t see it was not O J
However, I would tell him you didn’t like being made fun of that way

So it’s HER fault for not noticing that it wasn’t OJ? So every time anyone hands you anything eg a cup of tea, do you check carefully that it really IS what they say it is, or do you trust that they’re being truthful? 🙄