Would you find this out of order or just a harmless joke?

[Sishirunak]

I don't drink at all and haven't for years, not because of any alcohol issues, I just react badly to alcohol, can't tolerate a lot and hate being hungover.
Anyway my partner does and I met him and his friend in a bar this week. My partner just had a pint of orange juice which is unusual for him. I asked if it was just orange, he said yes, and told me to finish it as he didn't want the last bit.

I took a drink of it and immediately realised it was beer. They both burst out laughing and had been in on it. I just laughed but looking back do you think this was a bit of a dick move, or was I just being sensitive?

Do you really think 'it's not vodka' makes it ok?

I dont think this is that bad. It was a practical joke and would never have done you any harm since youd have realised immediately and not drank anywhere near enough of it to affect you at all, since beer is so different to orange juice.

If it was something like vodka in orange where you might not have realised, or if you were allergic to beer, then that would be horrible. But all he did was get you to taste something that you might dont like

I'd take it as the joke it was meant as, because my DH and I like a laugh and quite honest, if I thought a pint of OJ was beer then I'd be laughing at myself for being a bit dopey!

I think these responses might also partly depend on how people feel about practical jokes and pranks in general.

Some people are saying oh it’s only a prank

I wouldn’t want my partner to play pranks on me.

God this is a. Bit much. Fuck me it was a sip of beer. A joke.

and quite frankly beer is never thr colour of orange juice and smells very different. As soon as you put thr glass near you you’d know

God this is a. Bit much. Fuck me it was a sip of beer. A joke.

Can you explain the funny part?

@alnawire Are you being deliberately obtuse? I'm very obviously saying that he hasn't tricked her into consuming a full alcoholic drink (like hiding a vodka in her soft drink, or changing an non-alcoholic version for an alcoholic version). Those things would be completely unacceptable.

It's a sip that a) wouldn't have smelled anything like orange juice, b) she could have spit out when she realised and c) wouldn't have rendered her any more under the influence than a liquor chocolate.

The OP didn't find it funny so her DH needs to apologise and not repeat it, but it's not exactly abusive LTB territory, unless we're going to be drip-fed that it's a small example of a much larger pattern.

To you, no I doubt anyone can.

I have no idea how so many folk on MN go through life being so upset/furious/horrified at everything. It must be exhausting.

Are you being deliberately obtuse?

Not really, no.

I'm very obviously saying that he hasn't tricked her into consuming a full alcoholic drink (like hiding a vodka in her soft drink, or changing an non-alcoholic version for an alcoholic version). Those things would be completely unacceptable.

Alcohol is alcohol though. It doesn't matter if it's a full drink or a sip. OH chooses not to drink alcohol, for many years, and her partner should respect that.

It's not obtuse to point out there is no difference in the type of alcohol or the amount.

Equally I have no idea why some people go through life with a partner that disrespects them on any level.

@Begoniasforever

To you, no I doubt anyone can.

So no then?

You couldn't tell the difference between orange juice and beer?? ...Nothing bad is going to happen from one gulp which I'm sure it could only have been

I agree that it depends on your tolerance for pranks and immature behaviour. Probably on the same spectrum as tolerance for farting.

I wouldn't have a partner who made a habit of it. A once off, especially when with certain mates would probably be brushed off as unfunny but more than that would be a problem.

I'm in the minority here obviously. If my husband had done this to me I'd have thought it was funny. And I wouldn't have minded being laughed at and I'd have laughed too.

It’s not a “joke” if only one person finds it funny. Personally I hate pranks like this because they are about power, and seeking to humiliate the other person.

It doesn’t really matter what the “joke” is or whether some people think oh, it’s just a bit of beer, lighten up 😶, it’s the fact that he wanted to make you feel small in front of his friend.

Personally I’d be deciding whether or not to stay with him. But that’s just my POV.

Just blokey humour to me

Totally agree with you.

It's hardly disrespectful, it's a totally harmless joke. Probably a spur of the moment one because the OP is daft enough to think beer is orange juice! The OP is being massively dramatic

I wouldn’t find this harmless!

Dump him, you can do much better than that swine and his friend who think it's funny to humiliate women like this. What will he do next?

He was drinking some weird beer that looked like orange juice. Their humour isn't very funny (unless you're 14) but I think it was harmless. It's not as though you inadvertently drank a whole pint.

It's a bit like at work when actual grown up professionals pretend the sugarless beetroot chocolate cake we sometimes have is totally delicious, and offer it to others. It's so not delicious. Oh, the hilarity.

If this is the worst he's done yabu. A fairly common trick is say.

And a totally different colour!

It is really concerning for the couple of posters whi have effectively had a near meltdown over this. For most folks it’s just a daft joke, I mean who can’t tell the difference between beer and orange juice. It was a sip of beer. End of.