To feel like the only one?

[BiscoffSundae]

Something I’ve realised on MN is an awful lot of people have so much help from family, grandparents having kids for sleepovers, grandparents having the kids so you can work etc sometimes I feel like the only one who has zero help from family, does anyone else get absolutely no childcare help from family? (Just to add I know family “don’t have to help” not saying they do, just interesting to see how much help so people get)

No help here either. My mum was only ever interested in her other grandchild, who had lots of sleepovers and trips out etc. She hasn't spent even a single second alone with my DC, and it's been so many years since she last saw them that I don't think she would even recognise them. We all live locally.

OTOH I think we've dodged a bullet. My sibling (parent of other grandchild) feels that the help given means that they now have to put up with all kinds of crappy behaviour from my mum. I wouldn't swap places with them at all.

Nearly zero help in the 12 years we have had children from family. All childcare has been paid for. Has anyone actually followed through with the threat of not looking after elderly parents because of zero help with childcare when children were small…? I have often heard on here that people would be disinclined to assist elderly parents but I wonder if that actually has happened

@dollyblack I think you've hit the nail on the head- certainly for me, it's the total lack of interest/investment from FIL that's disappointing, not the actual lack of childcare. Until we're doing something nice as a family then he decides he'll invite himself. And not to spend time with us as such, just to join in the activity.