We need to stop the culture of "floral tributes"

[MangoMangoMango]

Just watching the news about the horrific murder of the girl in Boston. Woman being interviewed in front of a mass of tributes - flowers, teddies, balloons. At least 30 feet across, filling the pavement.

I totally get that locals who are shocked and upset by the news want to demonstrate that in some way. But flowers wrapped in plastic and helium balloons are just litter. In a few days someone will have the job of clearing it all up and binning it. Such a waste of money and resources.

We need to move the culture away from this - but into what. I'm not sure.

That sounds nice @hennybeans . I was brought up Catholic so lighting a candle has stayed with me though I don’t attend church, I will often light a candle and place it near a photograph of a loved one in tribute.

I also think this thread is in bad taste, although I’m sure that’s not what the OP intended.
I agree in theory about plastic and waste but when one of my lovely pupils died tragically very near my school it was actually a comfort to see this sort of tribute on the spot where he died.

I agree with @pastaandpesto

I wonder how many people complaining about waste of resources and pollution ever buy anything they don’t actually need - buy flowers for their home or Mum, buy new clothes, redecorate their house?

Cellophane is biodegradable. It is made from cellulose.

Wait - what - you've blown my mind!
Google confirms uncoated cellophane biodegrades in 60-120 days. 🤯

I also agree with TheVanguardSix and think out of decency you should ask for this thread to be deleted.

You can always start another thread about the issue but not relating it to a recent terrible tragedy.

I disagree with floral tributes.
It's an act of remembrance and respect. An acknowledgement of the loss.

Shortly after my young brother died I lay some flowers at the scene and it brought me great comfort when I saw other tributes and read through the messages. It really brought home how loved he was.

I fail to understand why are people so insistent on placing monetary value over anything more meaningful.

Well, all flowers should be wrapped in environmentally friendly paper. But they're not. However, no reason not to buy them. Flowers are someone's livelihood and who are you to decide they're inappropriate. I presume you've never been at the centre of a tragedy like this to know if it was a comfort or felt like precious recognition of your loved one's passing.

I hope everyone in your life knows never to give you flowers.

It's awful- just piles of tat that go to landfill and mainly from people that didn't even know her. There should be a way of them leaving a card to be given to the family if they want and perhaps a single 'wreath' or bunch of real flowers from the community.

I completely agree.

If people feel the need to place flowers, the least they could do is unwrap them and dispose of the plastic litter responsibly.

I'm a florist.
We sell all our flowers wrapped in paper, using paper tape to seal them. We do have cellophane for making water bags in hand tieds, but that's about it. We don't use any type of plastic bags, only paper.

More and more flower wholesalers are wrapping their flowers in paper and cardboard now. We raise the issue again and again with our suppliers , but there is little we can actually do about that.
But as I said, cellophane is biodegradable so it's not the absolute worst, as long as it is disposed of correctly.

I am always moved by communities doing this when something traumatic happened in their community. It is moving to think someone went to the shop, bought those flowers specifically, and walked to place these. Think it must be comforting to the families to know people are remembering their loved one.
And yeah to cellophane being biodegradable- fully agree shops should take responsibility for making big changes.

A poster has just Informed the thread that cellophane is biodegradable so is environmentally friendly. I also think getting think getting this thread pulled is the decent thing to do.

There's something really chilling about watching a tragedy unfold without comment and starting a thread about the awfulness of litter.

My friend recently lost a child in utterly horrendous circumstances.

She found great comfort in reading all the lovely messages in the flowers and teddies at the scene where they were murdered.

HUGE COMFORT.

All the local kids met in a playing field a few weeks after and released balloons. Hundreds of them. It was an amazing time for the kids to get comfort and solace for a truly heartbreaking time for them in their young lives.

At the time I was actually thinking of coming on munsnet and asking if I was being unreasonable to suggest to the grieving mum that maybe they shouldn't t release balloons because of the environmental issues.

But I gave my head a wobble and kept my mouth shut. The woman was going through a hell I could never imagine.

Yes I agree we should do something about the balloons and the cellophane but the death of a child is not the time to start lecturing.

It's a very difficult one and hopefully in the future balloons will be replaced. But with what?

That may be true, but in that case there needs to be a rule where you can't leave cellophane, and can ONLY leave flowers, on their own.

There's no point having 'gestures of sympathy' when each one is slowly killing our planet.

The cut flower industry is one of tbe biggest blights in agriculture.

It is one of the biggest users of both pesticides and fertilizers and yet produces nothing useful.

It should end

This thread is in really poor taste. The young girls' mum could be a mumsnetter, imagine coming online and reading this. There is a time and a place OP.

You are bleating about killing the planet yet have no compassion about the murder of a small child !

Don't be silly.

There's an interesting discussion to be had about waste and human mourning. Comment on that or don't, but snide little comments implying the OP is unfeeling and the thread should be deleted are pointless.

I'm afraid I disagree.

The tributes left via flowers, teddies, balloons etc are a way of communities having their own focal point of grief.

A way of trying in the face of such hideous loss of making sense where often so little may be found.

A way of supporting the grieving family.

Tragic and unnecessary deaths are not convenient or tidy, they're deeply uncomfortable.

Until we see some positive and corrective changes implemented that mean 9 year old children are not getting stabbed I think a bit of litter and discomfort are entirely appropriate and proportionate.

What you may interpret as "just plastic tat" might be somebody else's only way of coping and absorbing what's happened on their doorstep.

I couldn't imagine being so concerned about the environment over the murder of a little girl. In fact, I think this thread is disrespectful and I am surprised at the number of people, no doubt the majority of mothers, not even seeing that.

Human waste and human mourning...? Oh yes, I can really see that correlation. 🙄

The girl in Boston has a name. It was Lilia Valutyte. Please don’t refer to things people leave as a mark of respect to someone who has died or in this case murdered as tat just because it’s not your taste. it’s highly offensive. RIP little Lilia.

I'm afraid I don't agree.

When something tragic happens in a community, people desperately need a way to mark it in the immediate aftermath. Longer lasting memorials / charity collections / campaigns come later - they take time to organise - but a community really need a way of showing their respect while they process what has happened.

I don't think I really understood this until a student at my DS's school was killed in a horrific way just as we went into the January 2001 lockdown. The school was closed, and many students left flowers by the school gates. I was walking past one day and saw a young teenage girl with presumably a parent leaving some flowers. She was in floods of tears, and she was obviously doing something that she felt she needed to do. I can't begrudge that, and I hope those flowers brought comfort to the family.