We need to stop the culture of "floral tributes"

[MangoMangoMango]

Just watching the news about the horrific murder of the girl in Boston. Woman being interviewed in front of a mass of tributes - flowers, teddies, balloons. At least 30 feet across, filling the pavement.

I totally get that locals who are shocked and upset by the news want to demonstrate that in some way. But flowers wrapped in plastic and helium balloons are just litter. In a few days someone will have the job of clearing it all up and binning it. Such a waste of money and resources.

We need to move the culture away from this - but into what. I'm not sure.

What would you suggest people who are shocked and grieving over the murder of a child ? Marking a place has always been a remark of respect and no I don't think they should stop maybe put your focus on bigger "environmental " issues and leave grieving people alone.

In the move to get rid of single use plastic, all flowers should be wrapped in paper.

People are trying to show support to the family.
But in many cases the family could do with the money to help pay for the funeral (yes many undertakers will do children's funerals low cost) but family still have costs. Even things like councilling for siblings or family can be costly.

So I can see why fund raising for the family makes more sense than to donate to a random community group.

I am the person who cleans it all up in our Parish, it’s an absolute pain. The most frustrating one is a basketball court where a man sadly committed suicide. People are constantly leaving glass beer bottles under the hoop which then get smashed and mean children can’t use it. It’s been a few years but rotting flowers and balloons are still a constant fixture on a nearby bench for every occasion. I have to go and clear it up once a week but it means that it often isn’t safe for children and nobody can ever use the bench.

^This
Given that someone has died and it's a mark of grief, I'm sure you could find a better type of rubbish to complain about (which is everywhere, by the way). How about disposable coffee cups or takeaway wrappings...

This is my whole point - we need to find another way of marking grief.

One instance where I would disagree with you is when people have died in road crashes. We need Jeremy Clarkson and others to be reminded of the number of deaths there are in road crashes, almost all of which are preventable if we start to take having a driving licence as a great responsibility not as something akin to a human right.

I can't understand how you watched the news footage about a little girl being stabbed and you start a thread about the wasted money spent on flowers and the litter being left behind. Unbelievable.
These 'shrines' appear because local communities need and want to express their grief, anger and sadness at such a horrific crime. Families often visit the scene to read the messages and look at the flowers.
It's not like it happens on a daily basis, there are many more wasteful things you could direct your energies at.

What about all the florists and card shops that are supported every single time someone buys "flowers and tat"?

They're part of the community and need our support just as much as anyone else.

Do you have any suggestions of how grief could be marked in a more environmentally friendly way? What else would create the same kind of visual display, provide a focal point for people to gather at and enable people to share tributes?

It's absolutely not your place to tell other people how to grieve.

If they want to buy "flowers and tat", that's their choice.

I completely understand where you are coming from but if it helps the community process what has happened then I'm ok with it. Balloon releases and those lanterns, no, but I don't see why floral tributes should be stopped if its what people need. If you want to target flower waste focus on something like valentines day.

You can say that about anything and in a way it has done the local community some good if that is what they feel they want to do right now.

I agree. I totally understand the impulse but yes, donate to a release charity in the victim’s name.

Good idea. Target the flower industry. Not the people who are hurting.

*relevant

I am the person who cleans it all up in our Parish, it’s an absolute pain.

We have quite a few perpetual shrines where people have been driving / riding too fast and gone into a wall or where someone has been scattered over the moorlands.

I get that people want to remember their loved ones / show collective grief but take the rubbish with you when you leave - otherwise other people have to tidy up after you.

Maybe a book of condolences would be a way forward.

This ^

I disagree on the waste of money. I hate balloon releases and anything more than one simple funeral flower arrangement but in this situation this is a community action which will start to help to heal a community full of traumatised people. Like @CakeCrumbs44 says there are other things which can be done and realistically how much difference does these floral tribute make compared to the impact of one members of royal family’s yearly air travel.

It's a way of a community coming together. Yes we should be encouraging unwrapping of flowers and not balloons but it is an important way of supporting families.

Maybe fix a sign that says no glass bottles please?

A relative of mine has recently died and people attending the funeral have been told she specifically asked for no flowers. I respect her very much for that decision and I’m fact, will inform my family that this is my own wish. It never occurred to me before, but what a waste. Bad fur the environment ( unless wrapped in paper) and expensive too. You can mourn the person just as well in your head and by sharing memories.

No we don't .

community offerings brings the family some comfort, to know they have a lot of community feeling/support.

what we 'need' is for flowers to be sold in environmentally friendly wrappings.

the balloons need to stop until someone creates something that's not going to harm wildlife (edible maybe?).

the teddies upset me, they just get all dirty & soggy. I'd rather they were donated in the name of x, to hospitals, charities etc.

A teddy which a child will never get to hug just seems too sad as well.

@Twiglets1 its quite common to request no flowers. Getting mourners to respect that request is quite another.

Lots of people don't want to donate to charity for various reasons.