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AIBU?

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Original poster

Lift home scenario

84 replies

workim · 31/07/2022 17:23

Ava & Tom have a teen dd together (14), not together, Ava is single, Tom has a wife & baby.

Ava & dd attend family party, Ava drinks a little too much, they sleep over. The family member happens to live near Tom & his wife.

The following day, dd explains to dad that they stayed over and could he drive them home (only about 20 mins away) It was not dads day to see dd, he says he cant but with no explanation other than he has plans.

Who is BU

Tom - Should have done it as it affects dd

Ava - Should have arranged transport

OP posts:
Notthisnotthat · 31/07/2022 17:24

Ava should have arranged transport to get home after the party.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 31/07/2022 17:25

If he has plans he has plans. Why did the dd ask him? Why didn't ava.

Rainbowshit · 31/07/2022 17:26

While it would have been nice for him to do so he is not under any obligation. Ava should have sorted transport.

How was she planning to get home if she hasn't drunk too much?

Pinklady245612 · 31/07/2022 17:26

Ava should have arranged transport

NCHammer2022 · 31/07/2022 17:26

Ava was the one at the party, Ava should have arranged transport.

HandbagsnGladrags · 31/07/2022 17:26

Are they not familiar with Uber?

Idontknowwhattothink · 31/07/2022 17:26

Ava is BU. Why should he be driving her around because she drank too much? Given she's stayed over surely she can drive now anyway. If she has no car what was her strategy for getting home?

DashboardConfessional · 31/07/2022 17:26

Ava should use whatever transport she was going to do the night before, or pay for a taxi.

hopeishere · 31/07/2022 17:27

Ava should have realised she wanted a drink and organised transport home afterwards. Going over the limit and having to stay over is a bit juvenile.

Hunderland · 31/07/2022 17:28

No-one's really BU; she asked him on the off chance, he said no.

He might have been free and happy to do so or, as in this case, unable or unwilling as is his prerogative.

RagingWoke · 31/07/2022 17:30

saying Ava drank too much suggests she intended to drive home, where is the car? If no car she presumably had plans to get home and wasn't going to call her ex after the party for a lift home.

It wasn't U of the dd ask her dad, but he wasn't U to say no.

I'm guessing OP is either Ava or the new wife. No need for drama either way.

KeyboardWarriorsUnite · 31/07/2022 17:31

Why is anyone unreasonable here?

Surely it's ok to ask - it's also ok to say no.

Craftybodger · 31/07/2022 17:31

Ava needs to grow up and start being responsible! How did they get to the party? What was the plan on how to get home?

Tom would have been very generous to take them home but he was under no obligation to help them.

Clymene · 31/07/2022 17:32

He doesn't have responsibility to drive his ex home because she got drunk at a party.

Fine to ask though.

Their shared daughter has bugger all to do with it!

2pinkginsplease · 31/07/2022 17:32

Ava should have arranged her own transport. She should be more organised.

HundredMilesAnHour · 31/07/2022 17:32

Tom isn't a taxi service. Ava / DD should have arranged their own transport home.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 31/07/2022 17:32

Ava - entirely wrong to try to bring Tom into it at all.

Bonheurdupasse · 31/07/2022 17:33

Ava is BU, she should have arranged transport.

Toottooot · 31/07/2022 17:34

Ha Ha ha - not Tom’s responsibility in any way.

gamerchick · 31/07/2022 17:36

Nobody is wrong. Shy bairns get nowt. A question was asked and an answer given. The end.

girlmom21 · 31/07/2022 17:36

Ava is ridiculous. She must have been pretty hungover for the 14yo to try and take responsibility for them getting home the next day IMO.

Forestgate · 31/07/2022 17:38

Ava is BU

yonce · 31/07/2022 17:41

Ava is BU.

There's no need for Tom to explain his plans - he can't do the favour asked, he can't do it. Not U at all.

The angle of being U as it impacts the shared DD makes Ava even more U in my mind - getting so drunk you can't get yourself and a teenager home impacts them DD more surely and puts them in that position to begin with.

Cheeky of teen DD to ask Tom, Ava should have just arranged taxi / transport etc without teen DD needing to ask someone else.

comealongponds · 31/07/2022 17:45

Obviously Ava is BU, I assume you’re Tom or Tom’s wife OP?

Maybeebebe · 31/07/2022 17:47

Why did they need a lift back ? How did they get there in the first place?