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AIBU?

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Original poster

Lift home scenario

84 replies

workim · 31/07/2022 17:23

Ava & Tom have a teen dd together (14), not together, Ava is single, Tom has a wife & baby.

Ava & dd attend family party, Ava drinks a little too much, they sleep over. The family member happens to live near Tom & his wife.

The following day, dd explains to dad that they stayed over and could he drive them home (only about 20 mins away) It was not dads day to see dd, he says he cant but with no explanation other than he has plans.

Who is BU

Tom - Should have done it as it affects dd

Ava - Should have arranged transport

OP posts:
Brigante9 · 31/07/2022 18:52

They should have got public transport or a taxi. The dd was a bit naive to phone her dad for a lift. I’m assuming Ava and Tom don’t get on too well?

Trying20 · 31/07/2022 18:54

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oviraptor21 · 31/07/2022 18:56

Ava.
But in this scenario, you (OP) are Tom.

Toottooot · 31/07/2022 18:58

So fit happened in the end and fit een are you - Ava or Tom’s wife?

KVick · 31/07/2022 19:00

Ava has a drinking problem. She should not have gotten inebriated and a family event that she brought her young daughter to. She needs to quit drinking.

Trying20 · 31/07/2022 19:00

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BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 31/07/2022 19:01

I think OP is Tom's other half.

PuppyMonkey · 31/07/2022 19:06

We’ll just to throw a curve ball. I think OP is another family member in the house feeling annoyed at probably having to give a lift when she thinks Ava or Tom should have stepped up.Grin

Starseeking · 31/07/2022 19:09

Ava should have arranged and communicated to her teen DD how they were getting home well before teen DD felt compelled to ask Dad (doesn't sound like he was even in the same house!). Poor teen DD feeling that she had to ask; she'll probably feel rejected and think it's something to do with her, that dad said no.

Ava is being extremely unreasonable.

PortalooSunset · 31/07/2022 19:09

Ava. Especially if she's still too pissed to drive the next day!
The dd was not unreasonable to ask her dad though I don't think, just as he was not unreasonable to say no (and no further explanation was needed, as we see so often on here "No is a complete sentence"!).

Trying20 · 31/07/2022 19:09

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Bellyups · 31/07/2022 19:10

Ava is unreasonable

TheGetaway · 31/07/2022 19:10

Ava sounds like fun but should sort out getting herself and DD home

saltinesandcoffeecups · 31/07/2022 19:13

Why is Ava unreasonable? She clearly did the responsible thing by staying over after drinking. Do we know if that was the plan all along? Nothing in the post indicates Ava put the DD up to calling Tom. Why did the DD call Tom?

If I had to guess Ava planned on the possibility that her and DD would stay the night. DD didn’t want to wait around the next day, got impatient and called Tom, Tom said no, and now DD is kicking off stirring things up.

OnaBegonia · 31/07/2022 19:16

Ava needs to call a taxi.

Shinyandnew1 · 31/07/2022 19:18

How is Ava being unreasonable-she hasn’t asked anyone for a lift!?

BeenHereForYonkyDoodles · 31/07/2022 19:19

Ava needs to grow up or put her hand in her pocket for a taxi to get dd home.
Nothing to do with Tom. Actually Tom doesn't sound like a doormat so good for Tom.

GoodThinkingMax · 31/07/2022 19:23

The following day, dd explains to dad that they stayed over and could he drive them home (only about 20 mins away) It was not dads day to see dd, he says he cant but with no explanation other than he has plans.

While Ava should have thought about getting home, Tom is also BU for not helping his daughter.

I feel so sorry for the daughter- she’s just seen how little her father cares about her.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 31/07/2022 19:26

Shinyandnew1 · 31/07/2022 19:18

How is Ava being unreasonable-she hasn’t asked anyone for a lift!?

Right?! For all we know Ava’s still snoozing and has no idea about the controversy she’ll wake up to.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 31/07/2022 19:28

It was fine for Ava and her dd to ask if there was a chance if a lift, but they should graciously accept it if the answer was no. Even if the reason for the No was that Tom wanted to sit around naked scratching his balls, he’s not a free taxi service.

Starseeking · 31/07/2022 19:31

Ava is unreasonable because she should have advised her DD before they went to bed "We'll stay here for the night, and get a taxi home". Or whatever arrangements she had made to get them back home in the morning.

What Ava shouldn't have done is leave her teen DD not knowing how they were going to the extent she felt she had to call her dad to ask him.

vera276 · 31/07/2022 19:51

@GoodThinkingMax he has a newborn!! What about the mum?! She hardly cares considering shes's on the lash in the presence of dd and reckless enough not to arrange a way of getting home, what is that teaching dd?

vera276 · 31/07/2022 19:53

Op is Ava 100%. Look at the language, drank a "little" too much.

Also says the journey is "only 20 minutes away" making out its not a big deal.

girlmom21 · 31/07/2022 19:55

GoodThinkingMax · 31/07/2022 19:23

The following day, dd explains to dad that they stayed over and could he drive them home (only about 20 mins away) It was not dads day to see dd, he says he cant but with no explanation other than he has plans.

While Ava should have thought about getting home, Tom is also BU for not helping his daughter.

I feel so sorry for the daughter- she’s just seen how little her father cares about her.

Oh don't be ridiculous. She was with her mom 20 minutes from home, not stuck alone halfway up snowdon

RamblingEclectic · 31/07/2022 19:55

Ava should arrange transport (and possibly did that her DD doesn't know); however, I hope Tom took the time to see if there was more to why his 14-year-old would ask this even when unable to do so.

It seems odd and could be a sign of something else is not right - maybe Ava seemed off the morning after and the daughter was worried? Maybe something happened and she wants to find a way to talk to both of them at the same time? Or maybe she just didn't know how they were getting back and her father was her first idea in trying to be helpful.