Bbq etiquette

[hashbrownsandwich]

You are invited to a friends birthday bbq. Invitation states 'Come to ours any time from midday, bbq, drinks and the kids can play - being a bottle and something to throw on the bbq, we've got the sides and rolls etc covered'.

What time do you actually expect to eat?

My AIBU is I would expect to eat around 1 but my DH reckons people would expect it to be served on arrival 🤭🤣

They have to bring their own meat and drink? I don't think 1 o clock would seem too late, but would think it'd just be as people arrived with their food ready to be cooked as they may arrive in dribs and drabs.

If guest's r bringing the meat then they should expect to eat around 60/90 minits later for cooking times..

That sounds to me like a loose ongoing all afternoon bbq. If they're providing sides then they'll be ready near the start, but the rest depends on who brings what and when they come.

'Served on arrival'

Well yeah, served with sides and rolls!

It can't be served on arrival if you have to bring it with you.

I agree about 1pm

I'd expect it to be on-going through the afternoon.

You're expected to bring your own burgers etc?

That's weird and poor hosting.

I'd expect it later tbh, maybe 2/2.30. there is no set arrival time so can't expect people to be served on the unspecified arrival time

I would expect later than 1 and definitely not 12. I’ve never been to a bbq or a dinner party and eaten less than an hour after arriving. Usually it’s drinks, mingling and nibbles for a while.

PIL do this sort of thing and usually the first round of meat is ready at about 2pm and the second lot around 5pm.

My friend bought an expensive house with a huge garden because she wanted to be the hostess for bbq's and get togethers but whenever you're invited you have to bring your own food and drink. Personally, I think it's rude and if you can't afford to host, you shouldn't.

But back to the OP. I think probably an hour or so after the first guests arrive.

I'd expect the bbq to be lit at 12 and kept on until everyone invited has been and had their fill

The BBQ should be warming up from about 12.30 and eating within the next 45 mins to an hour. Ice creams at 3. Everyone gone by 4pm.

Me too. Some like to have alcohol in between servings. I know I do.

Nothing wrong with BYO, it’s what people do when they aren’t loaded but want to see their friends and family, and saves wasting money on different foods to cater for different needs if people just bring their own.

I would expect mid afternoon onwards for any food that needs to be cooked.

Food ongoing throughout the afternoon, but obviously the meat isn’t going to be served on arrival if guests are bringing their own. It’ll be served whenever it’s ready. Guests are arriving ‘from’ midday; this is a casual thing, not a sit down meal

I shouldn't worry too much as I doubt many will turn up.

Very poor form and cheap.

You are not really having a BBQ, just offering to cook and eat other peoples meat basically.

Barbecues in our friend circle are pretty much some element of bring your own. Host usually provides some stuff and the basics but everyone brings some meat, buns, salad, drinks, etc. Pretty common!

I would expect to eat maybe an hour/hour and a half after arrival, not immediately.

BYO is standard procedure in a South African braai. Host does all the salads and sides, guests bring dop and tjop. (Drinks and chops!)

Lighthearted: So what happens if you've brought Waitrose Finest burgers and someone brings Tesco Value burgers and you get served those do you just have to suck it up.

Bring your own meat barbecues ( or vegetarian) are quite normal for my friends for larger parties. Everyone gets to eat what they want, very little waste, and not too expensive for the host. If we invite 40 people then 10 don't turn up that's a lot of meat to find a home for. You also don't have that "how much should I allow for everyone" sinking feeling. I think you're more likely to get better cooked food as everyone is cooking their own, not one person trying to cook 50 sausages and 50 burgers.

Well like PP state, how can you eat immediately if bringing your food?

If we have a barbecue we would provide all food and it would be ready at a given time so we weren’t cooking loads whilst guests were there.

About 20 mins after you throw your food on the bbq, which the event is centred around and will be up and running on arrival

We're abroad and it's perfectly normal here to bring something to a bbq. Most of our friends would feel awkward turning up without anything. It's not poor hosting unless you are running a restaurant. A casual bbq in the garden isn't the same as a formal dinner party, either.
We have the biggest garden and enough space for all of the kids to roam around, so tend to be here. We usually provide salads, drinks and meat such as (chicken) sausages, turkey steaks and vegetarian options. If anyone wants red meat, they are asked to bring their own because we don't usually eat any.
I'd expect the bbq to be ready about 60 to 90 minutes after people have arrived.

It's perfectly normal with my friends too. Only a few of them have the space to host big get togethers so I'm happy to bring steaks and leave them with the clearing up!

I would say you won't be eating until 1.30 -2 earliest