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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a weird question for a doctor to ask

170 replies

ReallyDoc · 28/07/2022 23:52

Took my DS to A&E today. He had a seizure. Second one he's had. They say nothing to worry about as its febrile seizure and related to him having a high temp and he shluld grow out of them. When DS woke up he was very sleepy I mean he's three and just had a seizure so..he was very quiet.

Anyway the A&E doctor asked a bunch of questions and then discharged us happy DS is fine. One of these questions was "are you and DP (e.g. DS dad) related by blood?". I was like "good god of course not" and he laughed a bit and it was all fine

But now I can't sleep analysing why he asked that. Does he think there looks like there is something genetically off with my kid? What the hell is he suggesting? Or is this a normal question to ask???

OP posts:
LibrariesGiveUsPower · 28/07/2022 23:54

I’m guessing there’s a potential condition out there that causes fits that’s genetic and problematic if it’s inbred.

I wouldn’t think any more about it.

Prunel · 28/07/2022 23:56

Id assume there’s a potential genetic issue from close relations, with some similar symptoms

Aconitum · 28/07/2022 23:57

I have heard of this being asked before in a medical situation - can't remember the situation now but I googled it and found that there are a surprising number of parents who are related by blood and it can of course have medical consequences.

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 28/07/2022 23:57

Possibly this? www.bradford.gov.uk/media/1901/hgsg-briefing-paper-consanguineous-marriage.pdf

Aquamarine1029 · 28/07/2022 23:57

This reply has been deleted

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Aquamarine1029 · 28/07/2022 23:58

*have serious consequences.

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 28/07/2022 23:59

Do you have cultural links to a community where consanguine marriage has traditionally been common ?

tenyrsago · 29/07/2022 00:00

It’s a normal question. The midwife asked me at booking and I assume would have asked you as well

BiscoffSundae · 29/07/2022 00:02

I was asked this at my dds autism assessment 😕

Namechangechangingnames · 29/07/2022 00:10

I was asked this at my midwife booking appointment and when doing my wedding bands with my husband.

perhaps you live in an area where there are a lot of consanguineous marriages?

Hunderland · 29/07/2022 00:14

I was asked this by the Dr when I was pregnant, it's not personal to you.

Children born of blood related parents are more likely to have health issues so they do need to know.

Fraaahnces · 29/07/2022 00:15

I know it feels insulting, but there have been more kids born in the UK as a result of cosanguinous relationships in the last 20 years than any other time in history.

Regularsizedrudy · 29/07/2022 00:19

This is a normal medical question. We’re you not asked at your midwife booking appointment? It has nothing to do with what your kid looks like 🙄

5zeds · 29/07/2022 00:21

It’s just a standard question. They have asked dh and I this multiple times and we are VERY obviously not related. They’re just ticking a box.

FavouritePi · 29/07/2022 00:25

I was asked by my first midwife and also in A&E after a seizure too.

FemaleAndLearning · 29/07/2022 00:26

When my daughter had her first seizure A and E told me we are all allowed one. Then she had her second and she had tests and she had epilepsy. How old is your child and did they have a raised temperature. My daughter was poorly when had her first but did not have a raised temperature. She has grown out of it.

Strange question to ask you if they thought it was febrile seizures. I would want to be seen by epilepsy doctor to rule out epilepsy.

BerylBird · 29/07/2022 00:29

This issue (marriage of cousins / relatives) frequently get aired on here, and more often than not, many Mumsnetters, in their white middle class Surrey / Hampshire bubbles, are aghast to find out that it's actually really, ready common in some ethnic communities.

Sweatinglikeabitch · 29/07/2022 00:30

I was asked at my midwife appointment. It's just a medical questionnaire tickbox type thing. Not a personal judgement at all.

Coffeeenema · 29/07/2022 00:30

He should really have explained why he asked.

Sweatinglikeabitch · 29/07/2022 00:31

Although I remember the dentist asking if I added sugar to DSs formula at his first appointment and feeling judged. But they have to ask.

VanillaIce1 · 29/07/2022 00:38

Feel like the odd one out. Never been asked these questions before.

Loopyloopy · 29/07/2022 00:39

It's a tick box question that should be asked with any illness that could have a genetic cause. Consanguinity is less uncommon than you might think.

Doggydarling · 29/07/2022 00:42

It's a box to be ticked, nothing personal. A village near me has a considerable number of spouses who are first/second cousins, its accepted in their particular culture but it has led to the school needing more and more special measures in place to help children who have difficulties as a result of their parents being related, its become more evident in recent years because previously the children seldom attended school.

SaggyBlinders · 29/07/2022 00:53

I worked in a residential school for children with learning disabilities many moons ago, and remember asking one of the children's mothers if her husband was supportive with something. Her reply was "yeah, we're from the same family, his dad is my brother".

God knows what my face was doing while I was processing that she'd just said she was her husbands aunt. Hopefully kept a poker face. But yeah, it's more common than you might think.

ChuckBerrysBoots · 29/07/2022 01:00

A study in Birmingham found almost 50% of Pakistani mothers were in consanguineous marriages, and about 16% of the population as a whole were. Staggering numbers.