To think this is a weird question for a doctor to ask

[ReallyDoc]

Took my DS to A&E today. He had a seizure. Second one he's had. They say nothing to worry about as its febrile seizure and related to him having a high temp and he shluld grow out of them. When DS woke up he was very sleepy I mean he's three and just had a seizure so..he was very quiet.

Anyway the A&E doctor asked a bunch of questions and then discharged us happy DS is fine. One of these questions was "are you and DP (e.g. DS dad) related by blood?". I was like "good god of course not" and he laughed a bit and it was all fine

But now I can't sleep analysing why he asked that. Does he think there looks like there is something genetically off with my kid? What the hell is he suggesting? Or is this a normal question to ask???

Unless the kids of each end up getting with each other as forget the family link when it gets complicated. Or if their grandkids then get together.

Same! I’ve never ever encountered this attitude, in fact quite the opposite, cloistered away as a source of shame! FIL had a disabled brother who was denied medical care and died young, he’s never been spoken of again, married 7 years before I even knew he existed

This like I said its common for people to have children BEFORE they realise they are cousin here because virtually everyone is related and people lose track especially with all the half siblings and step siblings that arent always raised together.

If they werent 'raised together' then they dont 'know' they are related until later, usually people are aware if someone is a half sibling but cousins not so much.

Theres also a 'village raises a child' mentality and 'keeping with our own' (avoiding SS and care) when means its not usual for some kids to be raised heavily by other family members or even friends of the mother who has ditched out which confuses stuff more so people raised like 'siblings' might not even be related at all but not know who exactly they are related to.

It’s a routine question.

As this seems like it is now common knowledge, particularly within the communities it most affects, WTF are people still doing it?! It's incredibly selfish to do this to your child, and also the NHS and education system etc.

I have Hindu friends who are married second cousins. That’s how they met!

but first cousins with no other degree of consanguinity, there isn’t that much of a risk which is why it’s legal, so whilst cousin marriages is out of the norm to us, this kind of marriage really isn’t the issue (when it’s rare and there’s no other degree of consanguinity)

in my in laws, they actually take pride in how many people are married inside the family, it’s seen as an accomplishment. Concerns would be dismissed as against us or unislamic (which is obviously ridiculous) they believe that they are superior for keeping marriages inside the family and there’s a belief that marrying outside of the family, specifically women outside of the family, that those women are often infertile. You can’t reason with stupid.

In the UK, too. Victoria and Albert were cousins, and the Queen and Prince Philip were 3rd cousins.

I'm sure I'm duplicating here as have only skimmed the thread, but as others have said it's a fairly routine question in lots of situations.

In your context, what has happened is almost certainly a 2nd febrile seizure, but a little more serious than most such seizures. If there is any additional reason to suspect there is something else going on, then decisions to investigate further might be made. Additional reasons might include, other neurological symptoms before or after the seizure, a family history of epilepsy, or an increased risk of genetic disorders due to having closely related parents. So all of those will have been screened for by questions.

Best wishes and I hope this is the last episode you get, or that if it does happen again it resolves more quickly.

Communities are still doing it cos they don’t give a shit and place more importance on these marriages of convenience than any alleged health risks.

i remember going to the children’s hospital outpatients noticing most families there were either Asian or Jewish we went regularly due to dc allergies. More so Asian and my Dh told me it could be due to them marrying relatives.
But then I also wondered if many of these families are less likely to abort foetuses with disabilities or Illnesses than not religious groups (huge generalisation I know) because majority of cousin marriages around me the offspring seem fine. I’m sure if they carry on Inbreeding there would be problems which is what I’d like to see actual research done on, do one off cousin marriages cause problems repeated marriages etc. what are the links?

Definitely not condoning it as the families who do this where I am give very little autonomy to those they are arranging the marriages for. They see it as a way of ‘security’ for the daughters that they are less likely to be abused if they marry a cousin/relative which is BS and many times this is how they brainwash them (why not teach about healthy relationships instead and or stop the abuse in the first place rather than accept it) or for the boys they usually want to keep the money in the family or someone the mil can control or someone the mil thinks will happily take care of her in old age -this is not what really happens as it breeds toxic behaviour from my observations but people continue as they feel they owe favours to family members. It’s so tribal and there is no need for it nowadays unless they happen to fall in love themselves.

I’m talking about Pakistani people from a certain background as British born Pakistanis won’t choose to do this unless they are giving into parental pressure.
And don’t get me started on the many British men who happily marry cousins/relatives from back home as they don’t want westernised women who can stand up for themselves, Pakistani or not. Not talking about parental pressure here although I’m sure it comes into it. I don’t think it’s a religious thing as the religion encourages marrying outside, widening genes and meeting other ‘tribes’ etc people I know from Muslim cultures I know find it’s uncommon for them.

i think if more research is done on the health risks and evidence is actually presented clearly I’m sure there would be more restrictions on this as surely it would be costing the nhs. So far it remains legal so what can you do. And maybe families would actually pay more attention as im sure at the moment they are in denial about it or say it’s racism etc. the fact that doctors often ask but don’t say why they ask as there probably isn’t enough evidence so they are still collecting data it seems.

Once you get to 3rd cousins you're as genetically diverse as any random pairing. I suspect many people are distant cousins without even knowing it since we still don't actually migrate much and a generation or 2 ago pretty much nobody would have

A first cousin is highly consaguinous and a significant increased risk of inherited conditions especially deafness and metabolic disorder. Some communities which promote the practice of cousin marriage even have children as 'double cousins' meaning 2 cousins marry then those cousin's siblings marry then the offspring of these sets of cousins marry (I think I got that right?!) These are about as related as half siblings so extremely high risk.

This isn't a culture bash, it's a very high risk practice which can have devastating consequences whatever your 'ick factor' on it is

i can assure you this is really frowned upon in Hindu families, where children are raised to think of their cousins, even second cousins as brothers and sisters.
of course it will vary by family but that’s broadly the culture.

The people in thinking of who married in family are Hindu too

The risk of genetic conditions from first degree cousin marriage is doubled from 3% to 6% but overall is still low risk…

www.bradford.gov.uk/media/3276/cousin-marriage-and-genetic-inheritance-leaflet.pdf

it’s the double cousin or generations of first cousin marriage that is the real issue

My biology teacher talked about genetics and how the invention of the bicycle improved the gene pool in the local villages.

i think if more research is done on the health risks and evidence is actually presented clearly I’m sure there would be more restrictions on this as surely it would be costing the nhs

I live in a city with a very large population of people of Pakistani / Bangladeshi origin / heritage. My best friend is a sister midwife in said city's largest maternity hospital and the problem is very, very real.

A lot of work is being done in the community to address the issue, but some parents - particularly first or second generation immigrants, who aren't quite as integrated as many (the community has been part of this city for at least four or five generations, in some instances) are unwilling to take it on board.

I think it would be very difficult to marry cultural sensitivities with legislation.

This really explains why certain religions are so over represented in my special needs school. I always wondered why that was the case. This thread explains a lot.

My ex husband is from the Middle East. His parents were first cousins as were one set of grandparents. He had an autistic sister and 2 siblings who died very young

My teenager sons school friends parents are first cousins. Normal in their family apparently.

It's not marrying your cousin per say, it's having children from a small gene pool.

It's happening in Amish communities too.

Historically Martha's Vinyard had a very large hereditary deaf population, to the extent that everyone on the island used sign language - not ASL but their own language.

It was used by deaf and hearing people, there is an account of women on neighboring farms going out with a telescope each, one would start looking through the telescope while the other would sign and then the process was reversed. Very useful before the telephone.

I think when you are part of the majority it is difficult to see how ingrained cultural beliefs are about what is normal.

When I was teaching a BTEC unit 'equality and diversity' I would often ask the class to put their hands up if they washed meat before cooking. It always split the group and often there was some robust debate.

I've also seen a similar debate happen on here.

I've been told it's OK for diabetics to eat anything grown above ground but not things grown below ground. This is a cultural belief.

Now there is some truth in this when it comes to vegetables with some exceptions, sweet potato is one, but fruit is a different matter.

I think there is a lack of cultural understanding in healthcare and research and as I said before the shadow of eugenics makes it harder to say' "I'm going to research X group".