To think this is a weird question for a doctor to ask

[ReallyDoc]

Took my DS to A&E today. He had a seizure. Second one he's had. They say nothing to worry about as its febrile seizure and related to him having a high temp and he shluld grow out of them. When DS woke up he was very sleepy I mean he's three and just had a seizure so..he was very quiet.

Anyway the A&E doctor asked a bunch of questions and then discharged us happy DS is fine. One of these questions was "are you and DP (e.g. DS dad) related by blood?". I was like "good god of course not" and he laughed a bit and it was all fine

But now I can't sleep analysing why he asked that. Does he think there looks like there is something genetically off with my kid? What the hell is he suggesting? Or is this a normal question to ask???

Weird, my toddler had 5 seizures in one day when she had covid, never experienced them before and not a single doctor asked the entire week we were there, we are south Asian so it’s quite common in some families to do the cousin marriage/relative thing (we aren’t related though). Whilst I’m glad they didn’t stereotype us, surely if there was a link someone would have definitely at least asked us unless your doctor knows something the ones we had seen inc consultant didn’t.

I wouldn't even put it down to culture these days. Man has affair - father's child outside of marriage. Man father's child years before marriage. Man father's children after marriage.... Of course women too but... Much harder to hide.

I discovered my son had 2 half sisters when he was 10, luckily he's in touch with them and they live 100 miles away.

But imagine if they met in a club not knowing?

I suppose they wouldn't know either if the GP asked them... But blimey it must be more common now than ever.

I'm waffling, I'll shut up!

What I do know OP is that I suffered a febrile convulsion aged one. My mother refused any vaccinations for me as a result in case I got a temperature... Whopping Cough is my earliest memory aged 3 - why won't it stop? Is this life? Why am I so tired? Mumps at 7. Measles at 11.

Don't go down her path 😭

I've never been asked and my kids have had siezures for years. They said my daughter's were febrile seizures at first. Even though she was 6 when she had her first.

Does he fall over it lot? We think she was having drop's and absesnses before then. We would be walking down the street and just drop to the floor. Eventually put on meds after a fourth one.11 years on she has siezures most days.

I was asked this like 4 times by my midwives. I think it's just standard but yeah after the fourth time I just felt harassed. We're from completely different countries. So no! We're not related!

It isn't an uncommom within certain cultures and has devastating effects on DC when genetics are close.

I suppose it is a question that needs to be addressed.

This.

Also it's not uncommon for it to be multigenerational.

@Kerrrmieee this kinda almost could have happened to me.

We're the same age and went to the same high school. Found out in my twenties and the thought of how "easily" I could have slept with my brother is chilling. There were times I was going out with his friends or he was going out with mine so we were always at the same parties in various states of inebriation, and he was a really good looking guy who basically everyone went through a stage of fancying at some point 😬

We're just lucky he always thought I was too quiet and I always thought he was too full of himself 😂.

We were asked in our booking appointment and during my miscarriage. It’s a standard question to rule certain issues out. We look nothing alike and don’t have a baby for them to judge the looks of, it’s just something they need to ask. Try not to be offended by it.

It certainly is not common amongst Hindus - very frowned upon in most Indian / Hindu families.

It's a standard question- DH and I were asked the same thing when registering our interest to marry. We are different races and ethnicities to each other so so way we could be but they asked anyway

This question is now routinely asked at midwife booking appointments too! I was absolutely horrified and thought it was asked because the midwife didn’t understand I was saying I had a wife. Apparently there are a growing number of children being born into relationships between first cousins after many generations of first cousins in certain cultures so they now have to regularly ask!

This question is frequently asked especially in certain areas. 😬

I’ve never been asked this. I can see why they do.

Maybe where you live comes into it?

I think it’s illegal in some countries to marry your cousin.

personally I think it should be illegal here too. There are unusually high levels of genetic problems in the Pakistani community near us.

Perhaps.... it's interesting to see the comments re: ethnic backgrounds. In my line of work, I come across it very often. You'd be surprised at the number of Caucasian families related to one another by virtue of the partner swapping that goes on 😬 Typically in those cases it's cousins or sleeping with an ex-partners sibling or parent so the kids are related even if the parents are not. With the ethnic families it tends to be that the parents are related to each other, usually as cousins or a further degree of separation.

Is there a reference for this?
it seeems very unlikely given small communities, lack of movement before, first cousin marriages considered acceptable
my great grandparents were first cousins for example (poor Southern European village)
the new element increase now - If there is one - could be related ti donor conception and multiple births from the same donor

While it's true that cousin marriage is more common in some South Asian communities, the two pairs of married cousins I know are white British. It just makes sense to ask everyone really.

My friend was dancing at a party when she was a teenager, flirting with a boy, when one of her 'aunties' came up to her and whispered that the boy was her brother! (Absent father who had multiple children by different women but moved within a small geographical region)

Standard question, not prompted by your son's looks, don't give it any more thought.

Asked this at booking in with both my pregnancies - once at a large hospital in an area of London with a v mixed population and fairly high levels of deprivation, and second time in a tiny hospital in the Home Counties with a very much not mixed population, fairly wealthy area etc. So I just assumed it was a standard question. Wouldn’t give it another thought.

A friend who’s a pediatrician was sent to do specialized training at a hospital in that as her specialty was going to be genetic illness and conditions in children.

We live in a country where cousin marriages are common.

There was as a very good factual documentary on TV about it a few years ago but I can’t recall the name of it.

i used to do genetic typing and that was a standard phrase,

@Namechangechangingnames

when doing my wedding bands with my husband

Either you have a very ... unusual... relationship, or you actually meant 'banns'... 😁

it seeems very unlikely given small communities, lack of movement before, first cousin marriages considered acceptable
my great grandparents were first cousins for example (poor Southern European village)
the new element increase now - If there is one - could be related ti donor conception and multiple births from the same donor

Well with massive population growth even if the percentage of consanguineous births was lower, the absolute number of children could be higher.