To think this is a weird question for a doctor to ask

[ReallyDoc]

Took my DS to A&E today. He had a seizure. Second one he's had. They say nothing to worry about as its febrile seizure and related to him having a high temp and he shluld grow out of them. When DS woke up he was very sleepy I mean he's three and just had a seizure so..he was very quiet.

Anyway the A&E doctor asked a bunch of questions and then discharged us happy DS is fine. One of these questions was "are you and DP (e.g. DS dad) related by blood?". I was like "good god of course not" and he laughed a bit and it was all fine

But now I can't sleep analysing why he asked that. Does he think there looks like there is something genetically off with my kid? What the hell is he suggesting? Or is this a normal question to ask???

I wouldn't worry, i got asked this at my midwife appointment. It's to do with genetic conditions etc.

There is research showing link between epilepsy and consanguinity— www.researchgate.net/publication/237123759_Arranged_marriage_consanguinity_and_epilepsy
— that is why they ask.

Failed by autocorrect and sleep deprivation yet again

“I think we’re avoiding the reality if we try to cover up the fact it’s very common in British Muslim families from certain Asian countries”

This, please don’t refer to “south Asian” communities as one block. The prevalence in the UK, as all the data shows, is within Pakistani Muslim families where cousin marriage has been traditionally very common and actually encouraged.

With the rise in the incidence of donated sperm and children with fathers unknown this is perhaps a bigger problem than might be imagined beyond the communities mentioned above and people would probably not even know.

I do think some health professionals have a habit of asking various questions with acute insensitivity, making assumptions and being generally quite offensive. It's hard on occasion to see if they were just answering a tick box or doing it in a way to assert their authority and diminish the patient's dignity.

Consanguineous marriage is linked to a huge number of health issues in children and doctors will ask everyone to avoid racially profiling people from the community where it is more likely.

Realistically the chances of it through sperm donation are incredibly rare when you consider the scale of population and the fraction of the population conceived via anonymous sperm donation.

Far, far more likely that the rise is from communities where this is common practice and can occur over generations heightening the risks over time.

I would support making marrying your first cousin illegal in this country.

We could no that @swallowedAfly but let's not forget that FGM is illegal but the law has been invoked only once. I'm not sure what good it would do.

It is actually far more common than you'd think.

Me too. It’s a standard question in ante natal checks and anywhere that genetics could be a factor.

I do know families where the parents are blood relatives - it is legal to marry your first cousin and I’ve found several instances while I’ve been researching my family tree.

It's a tick box question in most cases. However when I worked at the Royal London Hospital in Tower Hamlets, there was a specific clinic to deal with the medical problems arising from consanguineous marriages.

I always notice when reading Agatha Christie or Georgette Heyer or Jane Austen that cousins are marrying right left and centre. I'm not sure at what point people realised it was problematic.

My DS had fits too but I was never asked that!!

He did grow out it and is perfectly healthy now

I work with two doctors (actually consultants) both married to their own first cousins.

One has two daughters - both married to first cousins brought over from Pakistan to marry the daughters.

Other consultant only has one son - he’s marrying this year. Haven’t bothered asking if that’s a cousin too.

Its to keep the money in the family, they were very open about it

Chances of recessive genetic conditions are increased in people who's parents are blood relatives. For a recessive condition to be inherited you need two copies of the gene, one from each parent. This is much more like in close relatives. Perhaps there is a recessive condition that presents with fits, or maybe it's just a standard question. Doctor really should have told why he asked.

Is there really a polite way of asking someone if they sleep with their cousin though??

As I said upthread, lots of first cousin marriages in my family tree (fortunately not in my DIRECT line) and we are all VERY white! (White Irish).

It does happen

This is untrue.... again in my line of work, FGM protection orders are something I deal with more often than I'd like to and I've had a number of cases where an elder sibling/mother has had it done and we have managed to protect a younger child from the same horrific experience. Whilst prosecutions are less common, protection orders are instrumental to helping stop this barbaric practice.

She was married to her nephew? I didn't think that was legal😲

I got chatting to a school mum, who mentioned her husband was her cousin, ie, his mother is her Auntie, her sister is also married to his brother.
I think the previous generation was the same, interrelated. I know it's a cultural thing, and it help to keep money in the family.

Sadly they have a son with Autism and LD - I can't help wonder is more likely because of the close relationship of those before him?

Well as its not illegal to marry a 1st cousin in the UK, and it happens frequently in various areas of society, it's a legitimate question to ask if he thought a condition your child had may have been caused by this.

Yep defeatist thinking there - bans on FGM may not stop all cases but they've stopped a hell of a lot. It's not it works for everyone, everywhere or it's not worth doing.

Making something illegal also offers protection to people who seek help - if it's not against the law no one, ie police etc, can really step in and help you. Even if they could people might not realise that as it's not highlighted as 'against the law'.

Banning first cousin marriages could have a knock on effect in reducing the number of girls ending up in forced or coerced marriages at a young age - if it's illegal it's not going to get your brother's son into the country anyway or keep the money in the family etc so what's the point? It takes out one of the incentives. No not all but again, something, and in this case I'd guess a large something, is better than nothing.

I used to work in a unit for people with learning disabilities. One of our residents parents were first cousins (White British). The cause of the resident's learning disability was not known, but her parents relationship was suspected to be a factor.

I think it was a routine question and wouldn't give it any more head space.

They asked me this when I was pregnant

Honestly I was so ignorant about this. I really thought it was incredibly rare.