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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner bringing baby

275 replies

Hoppinggreen · 28/07/2022 19:33

Genuinely not sure if IABU so honest opinions welcome. Sorry so long
My cleaner retired so I looked for another and found a small local company. The lady cleans herself and has a couple of people who work for her. She came to see me and we agreed they would do 3 hours per week but doubled up so would be there for 1.5 hours. All good, more than I was previously paying but that wasn’t a problem as they seemed very professional.
We are currently on holiday and the lady suggested they do a really deep clean while we were away. Again all good and I was prepared for it to take quite a while as my old cleaner really only surface cleaned and I just did the toilets etc regularly.
I told lady we had a Ring doorbell so I would know when they went in and out as I dint think it’s fair not to be honest about that. 2 cleaners came yesterday and were there for quite a while but needed to finish off today. Again, no issue with that.
I checked the Ring today and one cleaner arrived and unlocked the door, then instead of going in she stands with her back to the Ring Camera in what looks like a deliberate attempt to block it. There is no other reason to stand in that spot. Once she is “in position” she shouts to the other cleaner (couldn’t hear what) and then that cleaner walks up the drive and past her. The angle of the camera means that it is still possible to see the 2nd cleaner enter the door - with a toddler on her hip but it wouldn’t be obvious it was visible unless you knew exactly where the camera was pointing
They both go in and then both come out very briefly to take a stroller in. They stay for 2 hours and leave carrying toddler again. I messaged boss lady who said she would look into it and then messaged to say someone’s childcare had let them down.
So mnetters am I BU to be pissed off?

There was (looks to me) a deliberate attempt to block the camera
My house isn’t toddler friendly and could have been dangerous if the child wasn’t properly supervised at all times
I dont see how you can effectively clean while supervising a toddler.
I am minded to pay for yesterday in full but only for 1 cleaner today - so 2 hours instead of the 4 I was billed for, would that be reasonable?
Also, I am not sure that I want them to clean for me regularly now
What do other people think?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 28/07/2022 21:22

Hoppinggreen · 28/07/2022 21:05

No, I got a cleaner for 2 hours and someone trying to clean and mind a baby at the same time for 2 hours

I am actually going to pay for everything billed but I was curious if I was BU or not to be a bit miffed they took a baby into my house without asking when it was either unsafe and/or distracting.

Show quote history

Final paragraph
RTFT

OP posts:
Whataworldwelovei · 28/07/2022 21:25

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2022 21:18

not insane but thank you for asking about my mental health status although I can’t see how it is relevant.

ok, so you are fully in possession of your senses, that means your comments are instead purely nasty & insulting.

You think I am nasty because I think a cleaner should be paid for the work they have done. Ok petal, I will think about your character assessment of me as being nasty and insulting… (yeah right)

milesymoo · 28/07/2022 21:26

@TheHateIsNotGood Are you really comparing SAHMs who look after their own children in their own house and tidy it in their own time and at their own leisure to someone who is employed to clean and the client is billed by the hour?

OP has said she's paying in full but I don't think it's unreasonable to question how productive they were with a toddler when she is literally paying for their services by the hour

Blossomtoes · 28/07/2022 21:28

I dont see how you can effectively clean while supervising a toddler

Women have been managing it fo centuries. We’re renowned for our ability to multi task. I think you’re being really precious.

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 28/07/2022 21:29

TheHateIsNotGood · 28/07/2022 21:21

Goodness me - by your premise:

if 2 people can't clean very well if they're minding 1 toddler between them

it would then follow:

that all SAHMS must live in shitpits - seeing as if you can't clean properly with 2 adults and 1 child what possible hope could there be for 1 Adult 'minding' multiple children?

Give yer head a wobble OP, or drink a well-shaken holiday cocktail - whichever alters your thinking best - goodness me, you need it.

Can 2 people clean for 2 hours solidly (drink or loo break apart) AND safely supervise a toddler?
I don’t think so
I have been a sahm with a toddler and I can’t see how.
Besides, this is a pad for service, not a friend helping me out

I have had a cleaner before who after cleaning for me for a while asked if she could bring her child during the school holidays. I was fine with it. My previous cleaner who retired brought her 5 year old grandson a couple of times too, after asking.
My real issue is the (probably) attempt to hide it and also that this one off clean is supposed to be a sort of trial before cleaning for me weekly.
As I said several times I will pay in the morning in full (despite being sober) but I’m a bit miffed (not fumming or anything)

OP posts:
Rosebel · 28/07/2022 21:31

I couldn't get worked up about this. They came and did the job. For all you know the toddler /baby could have been asleep the whole time.
They weren't trying to hide it from you as you saw them clearly take the stroller in and saw them leave.
Also if you are going to pay in full why are you asking?
I don't think you should use that company again though. I don't think they did anything wrong but you do. You don't trust them so it's best to use a different cleaner.

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2022 21:33

TheHateIsNotGood · 28/07/2022 21:21

Goodness me - by your premise:

if 2 people can't clean very well if they're minding 1 toddler between them

it would then follow:

that all SAHMS must live in shitpits - seeing as if you can't clean properly with 2 adults and 1 child what possible hope could there be for 1 Adult 'minding' multiple children?

Give yer head a wobble OP, or drink a well-shaken holiday cocktail - whichever alters your thinking best - goodness me, you need it.

SAHMs are just that. Not employed to do a job. And how many posts are there on MN where the poster despairing of trying to stay on top of housework with a baby?

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2022 21:35

You think I am nasty because I think a cleaner should be paid for the work they have done

No, I think the way you've addressed OP is nasty & unnecessary.

She did not pay a cleaner to come with their child to her house. You cannot work as efficiently with a child. They also did not even ask her.

This is not the employment terms agreed by OP - of course she's unhappy, rightly so

dottypencilcase · 28/07/2022 21:35

TheHateIsNotGood · 28/07/2022 21:21

Goodness me - by your premise:

if 2 people can't clean very well if they're minding 1 toddler between them

it would then follow:

that all SAHMS must live in shitpits - seeing as if you can't clean properly with 2 adults and 1 child what possible hope could there be for 1 Adult 'minding' multiple children?

Give yer head a wobble OP, or drink a well-shaken holiday cocktail - whichever alters your thinking best - goodness me, you need it.

I was a SAHM when my DC was small. My house was a shitpit. It's the way the whole thing was conducted that the OP has an issue with.

OP- YANBU. Your house, your rules.

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2022 21:36

Blossomtoes · 28/07/2022 21:28

I dont see how you can effectively clean while supervising a toddler

Women have been managing it fo centuries. We’re renowned for our ability to multi task. I think you’re being really precious.

Not while being paid to do so in someone else's house, and without their knowledge or permission.

Badger1970 · 28/07/2022 21:36

I wouldn't have an issue with it - if I'd been asked.

Bringing a child into anyone's home without their knowledge or permission isn't on, however.

Itsbackagain · 28/07/2022 21:37

I wouldn't be happy with that at all and, as you say, should the child have hurt themselves badly - whose insurance would be covering that? I can bet their employers insurance wouldn't so they'd be coming after you.

Aria2015 · 28/07/2022 21:38

Did they block the camera when they got the stroller and also when they left? If not, I'd argue that it's possible the camera wasn't intentionally blocked when they entered. I mean, what would be the point of blocking them entering, but not when they get the stroller or leave? It would still be obvious they had a child with them?

JacquelineCarlyle · 28/07/2022 21:38

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2022 21:16

I am actually going to pay for everything billed but I was curious if I was BU or not to be a bit miffed they took a baby into my house without asking when it was either unsafe and/or distracting

You are NBU, at all.

I don't agree you should pay for the billed hours. You asked & agreed to pay for, 2 people to clean your house. Not, as you say, one cleaner & one cleaning / minding a child.

An established cleaner asking if their child could come as a one-off - possibly. Someone you don't know doing it without discussion - no way.

I wouldn't pay in full; and I wouldn't use them or the company again. (I've never actually had a cleaner btw, but am applying the same standards as I'd expect from any other employment)

I completely agree with this!

MyrrAgain · 28/07/2022 21:40

I wouldn't book them again. They weren't upfront. And how can you work solidly for hours with a toddler? I know I certainly couldn't clean my house with the kids present and relying on me.

Blossomtoes · 28/07/2022 21:40

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2022 21:36

Not while being paid to do so in someone else's house, and without their knowledge or permission.

Show quote history

Don’t be ridiculous. It’s either possible or it’s not, it’s not dependent on circumstances. And clearly it is possible.

HangOnToYourself · 28/07/2022 21:41

TheHateIsNotGood · 28/07/2022 21:21

Goodness me - by your premise:

if 2 people can't clean very well if they're minding 1 toddler between them

it would then follow:

that all SAHMS must live in shitpits - seeing as if you can't clean properly with 2 adults and 1 child what possible hope could there be for 1 Adult 'minding' multiple children?

Give yer head a wobble OP, or drink a well-shaken holiday cocktail - whichever alters your thinking best - goodness me, you need it.

This logic is insane.

Whataworldwelovei · 28/07/2022 21:41

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2022 21:33

SAHMs are just that. Not employed to do a job. And how many posts are there on MN where the poster despairing of trying to stay on top of housework with a baby?

Show quote history

Can’t say I have ever seen many post where the poster are despairing because they can’t keep their house clean. On the other hand I seen a a lot of despairing post relating to the cost of living and how they are struggling with money but I guess everyone has different priorities…

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2022 21:44

Don’t be ridiculous. It’s either possible or it’s not, it’s not dependent on circumstances. And clearly it is possible.

Of course it depends on circumstances!

If you're in your own home, you do it at your own pace & to your own standards. Baby needs attention, you stop & pick up later.

If you are being paid to do a job (any job) it comes with a set of expectations & conditions. Cleaning someone'a house is a job, not a set of tasks, and is expected to be done to a certain standard without a baby in tow, especially without permission.

You are comparing two entirely different scenarios.

Whataworldwelovei · 28/07/2022 21:44

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2022 21:35

You think I am nasty because I think a cleaner should be paid for the work they have done

No, I think the way you've addressed OP is nasty & unnecessary.

She did not pay a cleaner to come with their child to her house. You cannot work as efficiently with a child. They also did not even ask her.

This is not the employment terms agreed by OP - of course she's unhappy, rightly so

You cannot work as efficiently with a child

so all the parents working during lock down whilst their children were with them were inefficient?

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2022 21:50

Can’t say I have ever seen many post where the poster are despairing because they can’t keep their house clean

You don't read enough MN then. It's pretty much a daily topic. Here are 2:

Help, my house is a mess www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/4589477-help-my-house-is-a-mess

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4175203-to-ask-how-the-hell-you-keep-your-house-clean

baxtersm · 28/07/2022 21:50

I'm currently on holidays too and have asked my cleaner to come in when I'm gone and do a deep clean. I've told her to feel free to bring her kids if she needs to and they can watch a bit of telly as I know it's school holidays and she struggles with childcare. However she said she wouldn't do that as they would distract her! My problem with your cleaner OP is that you are paying for the number of hours they were there.. for all you know half of that time could have been spent entertaining the child? And the fact that that they tried to hide it would be an issue too to be honest!!

Mallysmomma · 28/07/2022 21:50

You said they brought a stroller in so obviously strapped the baby in that whilst they were cleaning so your unsafe for children baloney doesn’t make sense. I personally think you are being very unreasonable. You haven’t even seen the job they’ve done but are complaining already. Who the hell checks their doorbell footage to spy on cleaners when you don’t even know there’s been a rubbish clean? Why not try and be supportive of other women that are trying to earn a living whilst being mothers!! If the clean was crap then absolutely it would be an issue but you don’t even know that’s the case. Such an unkind personality you seem to have. I am really saddened by this post!!

Blossomtoes · 28/07/2022 21:51

Cleaning someone'a house is a job, not a set of tasks,

What’s job if it’s not a set of tasks? That’s the very definition of a job. Cleaning’s cleaning, regardless of where it happens or whether it’s paid for.

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 28/07/2022 21:52

Aria2015 · 28/07/2022 21:38

Did they block the camera when they got the stroller and also when they left? If not, I'd argue that it's possible the camera wasn't intentionally blocked when they entered. I mean, what would be the point of blocking them entering, but not when they get the stroller or leave? It would still be obvious they had a child with them?

It’s not obviously a stroller
They have it under one arm with a load of other stuff but if you look carefully I am pretty sure it is.
The footage of them leaving is blocked too ( but again not as well as they thought).

OP posts: