Help, my house is a mess

[mamaofthebeartribe]

I really need some tips and advice on my home.
I have 5 children so there is a lot of 'stuff' my husband has ADHD so can struggle when the house is untidy but I am struggling with keeping it clutter free.
I don't even know where to start. I feel like my days are endless tidying and asking the children to tidy up. I want to just throw everything in a skip!

Any advice is greatly appreciated on anything you do in your own home to keep it simple and clutter free.

(Probably a pointless task by the time the summer holiday starts but il give anything a go)

Do you have a job to get to?

If not it's good that you have the whole day, it's a long stretch and when you sit there and look at the mess you don't have to rush. Block out a day and if possible move the kids around that day so they are out of your way a room at a time.

Get a bin bag and declutter as you tidy. Get rid of anything you can. Look at Marie Kondo maybe but there are lots of decluttering tips and that's a whole different thread.

Decide on a strategy. Sometimes I will say it's all about getting any item of clothing out of the way into a basket in the kitchen, then it's toys, and so on.

Or you could move through the house with the bag and grab all you see and just keep going round the house until it's done.

Do a room a day and I think in your case it needs to not just be tidying or cleaning but your priority is decluttering, getting rid.

Go and buy some nice boxes from a discount shop to put clutter in at least for a time before you can get rid of it. Go around the house and take collections of clutter and put them in boxes then stack them.

Just do things in stages and tell yourself it will fall into place, it can just take some time.

I've done this and got my house to a manageable place but am still cleaning every single day, even with one child.

So I think this will take a good while for you to get sorted but just keep telling yourself you have time and it will get there.

Great advice. I love decluttering.
Before you do anything think of homes for your stuff. So keep things where you need and use them (eg. Pens and stationary near the homework area your kids work at or envelopes and stamps wherever .. baking stuff- if you don't back often out it in a lidded box and store out of sight)

Keep only what you need and actually use. I literally got rid of mugs and cutlery and all that to charity. Excess duvet covers. Toys - be absolutely ruthless.

I bought storage canvas bags (habitat at Argos are lovely) and put spare soft toys in there. Nice and tidy. I'm going to buy more for clothes.

Once you choose what you don't want and it's gone .. you will get addicted.

If you have an attic put half of the kids toys up there for a few months. Then take a look and anything that they haven't missed gets donated. Just keep doing that. I find it works great with soft toys.

I also love IKEA Trones for kids books and those belly baskets (Primark) I keep one for kids shoes. I literally keep nothing out if I can.

Thankyou to you all for replying. I don't work at the moment but have three school runs to do as still collecting from nursery half day, which I walk so there's never the time to just get stuck in.
It desperately needs decorating aswel which doesn't help the look of it either.
I will be as ruthless as possible. 😂

It hasn't helped we went to the mother in law's for the first time yesterday (haven't spoke in many many years) and the kids were gushing about how beautiful her house is.Made me feel a bit sh*t which is silly and I've just had a cry on the phone to my sister.

Mother in law's house is nice as she doesn't have young kids with additional needs. Good cry gets it out. No harm.

Honestly if you even have 20 mins. a day then do 20 mins. Or give yourself a target. One carrier bag a day or whatever works for you. Is there anyway mil could mind the kids for a couple of hours to tear into it.

Apologies. Dh needs.

A couple of tips I got years ago - never leave a room empty handed and have a basket for each person in the room - pop their bits in and "train" everyone to empty their baskets regularly.

Set a timer for 15 minutes each day. It’s amazing how much you can get done if you know you have a limited time.

Is there a charity shop you go past on any of the school runs ?

Yeah the timer idea works well. Instead of focusing on everything pick one shelf, or one drawer. I now have a strict policy of 'is this annoying?' and then I bin it. I also think of the house in layers. Your first layer of decluttering will take ages but eventually you are managing cleared out areas which is a much faster job.

Right I'm going to get stuck in for the hour I have spare this afternoon. Boys are going to watch a movie while I tackle the shoe boxes. Taking advice just to tackle one bit at a time.
Will grab some bin bags and tomorrow will be excess toys (they need to go while the kids are not here as you always get the 'i need to keep that')

The rest of the school events next week have been cancelled due to the weather which will give me a bit more time to declutter before they all finish for the summer. Once it's uncluttered I will get some decorating done.

Thankyou for replying to me this morning, having one of those days where everything is just crap.

Watch Joshua Becket on youtube (short, concise, inspiring) - he promote mininalism and has literally changed my life. Start with his earlier videos.

Another fave is The Minimal Mom on youtube. Mum of 4 children living in a small house and so lovely and encouraging.

I've stopped keeping things "just in case". I've stopped keeping things I don't really like just because they cost money. I have cupboards and drawers that have loads of space in them so can find everything easily.

Yes I've just done the shoe boxes. I've urged myself to charity bag the school plimsolls. They will be going to school in pe kit again next year, their "COVID keeper" as they call it. So will be wearing trainers. It's just hard to get rid of stuff that I think one day one of the younger ones 'might' need 😅
I will watch those you tubers mentioned. I have quite a small house, not a lot of storage space tbh and with 7 of us here it can get a bit chaotic.
The kids are very good with chores and bedroom tidy etc but sometimes I feel like a nag and it would just be better to have a place for everything.

Got myself a bit overwhelmed this morning just looking around at a whole house that is in desperate need of a sort out.

Hey mama,
I'm not a naturally organised person and it's a real effort for me to keep clean (my standards are too high as v.tidy mother & MIL and I give myself a hard time for not keeping up like you also.)
Advice to get rid of most things is great, it helps. I have three boys here and DH so it's a lot.
15 min timer is a good idea just get in a room give it 15 mins full blast sorting out and then leave. Do the next when you have time.
Once it's all done and cleared your head will be in a better place so you can start working out how to keep on top of things.

Hand me downs - bin bag, label throw in attic. Then put a reminder on your phone for when the next DC will want them or you may forget (like me)

Boxes boxes and more boxes. I bought a cheap label maker from home bargains aound £10
Buy boxes for in your larger drawers/ cupboards wherever , label what goes in the boxes and put the box away. It's so much easier if everything has a place.
Eg one of my kitchen cupboards is the home to bits and bobs has the following boxes. Occasion - spare cards, candles, a lighter
House Tools - pliers, tape, annoying screwdriver set for the tiny screw toys etc you get the drift there's also Stationary, Medicines, Covid tests and a few other it's just home to stuff that has no home. My bathroom cupboards have the boxes too - Hair removal, sanitary, daily, hair products, skin care.
It's just easier than chucking everything in.
I know what it's like with the kids and never finding anything.

Use your label maker for DC drawers in their rooms encourage to tidy too. I have labels on the inside most drawers as it makes sense in my head (helpful for DH maybe) even so simple as socks, pyjamas, gym clothes, plain t shirts, it just feels better and easier.

Another tip I try and get into my boys (and myself) - If you walk around and something is on the floor pick it up and don't put it down until it's in the right place. They're forever dumping stuff randomly on surfaces.

Washing - to get on top of my washing if I get behind I sort into bedrooms rather than colour loads. It's much quicker to put away once done as just take the basket to the room and that's it. I had a rota for a bit which worked really well to stay on top of things providing you all have a weeks worth of clothes. M- towels & dc1, T- dc-2, W- dc3, Th- mineand DH & workwear, F - bedding & uniforms.

It's really hard and you're not alone. Sorry this was long

Oh why have I never thought about washing in bedrooms rather than colours. Honestly the washing is probably the biggest argument in the house, me having baskets and baskets of it everywhere, to wash to dry to fold/iron and put away.
Today I have sorted the downstairs bathroom, sorted all shoes out into storage boxes for their own bedrooms and cleared all the clutter from the bathroom drawers. So that's one room I have down. Six more to go!
Honestly thankyou everyone for your helpful tips. I didn't think I'd get any replies ☺️

The thing I did recently is accept not squeezing the resale value out of everything. I realised id been ignoring items that I 'could' get a couple of quid for on FB marketplace but could never be bothered to list. I took the lot and a whole lot more to charity and friends all in one Saturday afternoon and it was like a weight lifted. Sure I 'could' have made £50 but others appreciated and saved me soooo much time.

thetombliboo genius thinking and planning

Totally doing this. Love the sound of your cupboards. That annoying screwdriver !! I have a birthday box which I love. Candles. Balloons and cards etc.

OP You have five children. You are amazing ! My daughter and 4 year old grandson live with me and every room gets devastated every day with his toys and stuff and that is just one child.
Give yourself a break and stop worrying and do not compare your house/life with anyone else's as that is always going to be negative.
I had three children and worked and the house was always a work in progress. The important thing is to be happy and not worry too much about the clutter.
Only bit of advice I can give is never to leave a room empty handed. That was my mantra and I still practice that now.
Good luck !

Joshua Becker on YT is fantastic.

Also:

Minimom
The Minimal Mom
Jana Leigh

You know there's no law actually stopping you from ordering a skip...?

By the way just to remind people there’s decluttering but there’s a line! I desperately miss so much stuff that my mum cleared out, special comic books and school copies, dolls … so I do sneak out things they had absolutely no interest in, but I also watch out for things they’re especially proud of and sometimes ask them what their best things are!

I'd love a skip, just can't afford one atm. So it's wheelie/recycle bin or charity shop stuff.
I am mindful of their work and stuff they cherish. we've made a rule we keep one subject of their school books. So next week when they bring them all home, they can use the spare paper out most of them for colouring but I only keep RE books. They all have a folder each for certificates etc so they can keep special things for themselves.

Still going strong, have been on garden duty today. There's a pile to go and everywhere is neat and tidy. 🌞

Check out your local dump op, generally really cheap for a carload. When we decided we couldn’t afford a skip my mind was nicely blown by how cheap it was to bring it ourselves!! Enjoy!

Following because I’m in a similar situation, 4 kids under 6 here and the house is just getting more and more cluttered and I feel overwhelmed. I think I need to retrain my mind though to just get rid of stuff because I always end up keeping things ‘just in case’

Ps. The reason your MiLs house is beautiful is because she doesn’t have 5 kids!!