Disclosure made in therapy is being passed on as a safeguarding risk..

[Idontwantthat]

I'm having counselling and last week I disclosed that there had been S.A when I was young (this was 16 years ago)

During the opening few minutes of my session today my therapist said what we discussed was flagged as a (historical) safeguarding issue and it had to be passed on to social services as he's still out there. She wanted me to give his name and I very reluctantly did as it felt like I didn't have much choice and was under pressure.

I made it clear I don't want to speak to the police and I don't want my name mentioned to anybody and she said she would make a note of that.

I have a bad feeling now. I don't want her to do anything with the information. I know the statistics for prosecuting historical sex crimes and they don't weigh in the victims favour. I don't want to go back there. I mentioned it purely in a therapeutic manner so that I could process it and move on.

I don't think I'm going to feel comfortable disclosing anything else now.

Can somebody tell me if this is procedure or whether it's unacceptable?

This is standard procedure.

You do not need to chase a historical case and don't need to talk to the police.

I had counselling I the rape crisis centre a decade ago and in my welcome session the first thing she told me was that if I disclosed anything relating to child abuse, child sexual abuse or basically anything regarding a minor that this was the circumstances in high they would be required to break confidentialty and inform police / social services.

I would try and keep going with the counciling, now you have disclosed talking about it more should lead to any more reports.

Not procedure

I've counselled hundreds of adults who have suffered SA and never asked for the name of the perpetrator

It's quite different if you're counselling a child or a child discloses about another child (I also work in schools)

If they think that their is a risk to someone then they are duty bound to report it. Is the person you mentioned still in a position where they will come in contact with young people?

Yup, this.

I'd suggest talking to the therapist's regulatory body as this is not standard practice. Certainly not part of any safeguarding training I've ever done, not for historic abuse.

I didn't say anything that implies he's a risk to children now, he wasn't in a position of authority or anything at the time nor now that im aware of. He was just some dickhead bloke.

The last thing I want is somebody making contact with him, be it the police or social services, and saying I've told them about it.

I'm so sorry for what you went through.

The police are almost certainly not going to act on this information. If you wanted to pursue it they might, but without your cooperation it just won't happen. They definitely won't contact him.

She's going to speak to her supervisor and email me later telling me what the supervisor has said and what's happening with the information.

I feel more anxious now than I did before I started therapy 😐

I think this is now standard with NHS therapists, not those is private practice.

It happened during my last sessions and since the person didn't have access to children and the abuse was historic, it didn't go any further.

Don't worry - it's your choice.

Thanks all, it seems it'll be ok then. I'm so relieved.

I will say it has done nothing for my ability to trust the therapist though and she may well find that my walls have well and truly gone up now.. which is shit because I really needed this therapy.

I know they have safeguard procedures in place for if there is a current risk to children but I didn't realise something 16 years ago would be flagged in the same way.

It isn't NHS funded its through an independent organisation that support people regarding a certain thing (not rape crisis - not S.A related at all actually)

We have the same procedure in place at our workplace. However this should have been made very clear to you before starting the sessions and secondly you should not have felt under any pressure to disclose the name.

Usually when a disclosure of abuse occurs I gently remind the person of our procedures. 9 out of 10 times they choose not to share the abusers name, and I fully respect that as a valid choice.

This happened to me years ago. Years of waiting for therapy for her to push safeguarding onto me when I disclosed childhood abuse. I never went back for fear of the recriminations and never got the help I need. I am furious with her more now than I was then. She went on and on about the safeguarding issue in the first 15 mins and made me feel like this was more important despite the fact I made it clear the perpetrator was now so disabled they needed full time care so couldn't abuse others

This was my experience exactly, apart from the perpetrator being disabled. The first 15 minutes was all about my disclosure and from that point onwards when we did finally get around to discussing the reasons I needed the therapy I was so on edge I changed some of my answers desperate to avoid bringing up anything else that would be flagged (there's plenty of it, but I won't be mentioning any of it now)

The fact he could have done it to others, or still could, was made 'my' problem if you know what I mean. I was a hero if I gave his name but if I didn't then he could be hurting other people.

I'm so sorry you had that experience, it's fucking shit isn't it?

Do you feel able to revisit the possibility of counselling again now or in the near future with somebody else? You deserve to get the help you need.

I am a mental health worker where I assess and work with people. This is definitely not procedure, not for us anyway. We make it clear if there is any concerns around safeguarding we would break confidentiality. However, if you have not said anything that is a concern to the safeguarding or welfare of yourself or any children around you/him then this would not be procedure. I have had many people disclose all types of abuse to me including being SA as children and never have I, nor my colleagues, reported it as a safeguarding concern. Actually, 1 instance was reported and that was because the person was allowing her children around the perpetrator.

I would take this further if I was you.

I was made aware that anything I disclose that poses a risk to a child would be passed on which I understand completely, she just never told me that included historical information in the long distant past.

I wish I hadn't said anything, that information was part of my journey and contributed to the issues I have now so it felt relevant to mention as I wanted to get the most I could from the therapy. Never again.

I hope she comes back to me later and says her supervisor told her she can't go anywhere with it. I don't see how logically they can pursue it without my involvement anyway as PP said.

She wants to pass it on to the social services department in the town it happened in. They did fuck all for me when it was happening so I don't think they'll give any more of a toss now. So frustrating.

Your counsellor has got the wrong end of the stick here about safeguarding procedure. It is understandable in a way and she's thinking about her responsibilities, but she has got it very wrong.

She 100% should not be asking you for his name or pushing you to take it any further.

If you'd told her that he is still abusing children and you know this, that would be different. But you didn't say anything like that.

Is she registered with a practice, or with a body like BACP (I think you can search her name on the BACP website to check) - if so, I would put in a complaint so they can flag it with her as she needs some re-training on safeguarding.

I really hope this doesn't put you off counselling in the future.

If she's not on BACP, I would recommend finding a therapist who is, as they have to have met particular training requirements to get there.

I actually wanted to go into the current difficulties I'm having with my partner which I feel might border on emotional abuse but I won't be doing that now incase she reports me to social services for that aswell.

No wonder people don't seek help 😐

I've just quickly looked at the BCAP register and can't see her on it when I search her name

Sorry to derail, but I think it's OK to post as you will understand. Reading your thread sent me back 4 years to when I was in therapy (eating disorder) and I disclosed something which the MH nurse was obliged to follow up.
I can't even explain the feeling (I just want to distract myself).

I'm sorry this all happened to your OP and that therapy then brings a whole set of other worries. You are very brave and your future will be brighter.

It's sad to hear that your walls have gone up around future therapy.

One way of looking at it is, if you know the policy yourself, you have nothing to worry about.

The only instance in which they should take it any further is if they have grounds to believe that you or others are at risk.

Discussing historical abuse doesn't meet this criteria unless you actually know that he is still doing something similar now.

Please carry on with therapy, hopefully knowing the safeguarding policy will help you feel comfortable to assert that and say no. But really, if you are with a reputable and properly trained/ experienced therapist it really shouldn't come up. I would definitely switch therapists if I were you after this.

I really recommend finding yourself a BACP registered therapist who has experience working with people who have similar issues around abuse.

They will handle it much more sensitively and they are experienced working with people in similar situations so won't make you feel uncomfortable.

OP please dont let this turn you off getting counselling. I know it feels like you were brought down a road you hadnt even contemplated or wanted. The reason they do this is because sometimes a person who abused years ago might have access to children now and may be abusing them or those children may be at risk of being abused. The purpose of it is to assess what contact that person might have with children to work to try to keep them safe.

I dont have experience with the UK system but where I am a person who has disclosed abuse does not have to engage with social services or the police to take the issue any further. If they contact you, you can decline to get involved.

You can if you wish give them information you might have about him now eg does he have children of his own, does he volunteer with children as this will assist them with deciding what to do about safeguarding.

My experience is that some counsellors wont ask for a name so that the reporting is limited, some will ask and push a bit harder for it.

Do continue to get help for what you are going through.

childhood abusers are often still in people’s lives. They may keep them at a distance or even cut off direct contact, but the family networks that brought them near keep them near. This can make it all the more important that the victim be able to process the childhood abuse in an ongoing manner. It also means that an external investigation could very much complicate the victims life, even if no specific accusations are leveled.

in short, this policy hasn’t been thought through at all.

Thank you. It really is fucking shit. We have to wait so long for therapy just for it to crash and burn. I have been toying with trying to access support again though I am wary as hell now. I am so sorry you feel unable to confide in your therapist now and I absolutely get why you feel like this