Disclosure made in therapy is being passed on as a safeguarding risk..

[Idontwantthat]

I'm having counselling and last week I disclosed that there had been S.A when I was young (this was 16 years ago)

During the opening few minutes of my session today my therapist said what we discussed was flagged as a (historical) safeguarding issue and it had to be passed on to social services as he's still out there. She wanted me to give his name and I very reluctantly did as it felt like I didn't have much choice and was under pressure.

I made it clear I don't want to speak to the police and I don't want my name mentioned to anybody and she said she would make a note of that.

I have a bad feeling now. I don't want her to do anything with the information. I know the statistics for prosecuting historical sex crimes and they don't weigh in the victims favour. I don't want to go back there. I mentioned it purely in a therapeutic manner so that I could process it and move on.

I don't think I'm going to feel comfortable disclosing anything else now.

Can somebody tell me if this is procedure or whether it's unacceptable?

I feel so sick and my hands are shaking. This is the last thing I need.

I'm going to call the organisation and ask to speak to the manager of this therapist.

Family Action Group if anybody is wondering. Avoid like the fucking plague.

Her 'line manager'?

What kind of setting are you seeing her in? Is this her private practice or is she working in an organisation?

Counsellors do not usually have line managers. The majority are freelance/self employed, many of them even if they are working for GP practices and being paid by the NHS budgets.

Exceptions might be counsellors employed by a company or in an educational setting.

I will take a look for you.

Maybe hold on, and wait for some advice here before you pick up the phone.

oh OP!

I know exactly how you am feeling right now.

"They didn't do anything about it. They didn't help me."
This screamed at me from your other post.
I totally get how all this will be fucking with you.
I'm raging for you.
Take care of yourself.

They really have got the wrong end of the stick here.
The abuser isn't in a position of trust, you haven't disclosed a current risk and you don't wish to pursue further action in relation to yourself.
Try talking to a much more senior person in the organization.

Are you accessing 'emotional/ wellbeing' through the Family Action Group website?

oh shush now Sandra.
thats exactly the kinda bullshit that leads to people disclosing when they dont feel ready to...

have you actually read the OP's post.

Sod off.

I worked as a therapist for a organization in the charity sector, I think this is quite usual.
We had lots of line managers!

So she is from an organisation called PAC UK which is there to support birth parents who have had a child adopted. I'm a birth mum (aswell as being a full-time mum to my younger children)

I contacted them a few months ago as I wanted to go along to one of their birth parent groups and talk about my first child's adoption. They offered me the counselling.

She works out of the Family Action Group building which is where I had my first session.

I've just tried calling up and nobody is answering. I hope she doesn't call me back herself as I have absolutely no desire to ever speak to her again. I only want to speak to her superiors to lodge a complaint.

Thank you all for talking to me. My head has well and truly exploded :(

So she is from an organisation called PAC UK which is there to support birth parents who have had a child adopted. I'm a birth mum (aswell as being a full-time mum to my younger children)

I contacted them a few months ago as I wanted to go along to one of their birth parent groups and talk about my first child's adoption. They offered me the counselling.

She works out of the Family Action Group building which is where I had my first session.

I've just tried calling up and nobody is answering. I hope she doesn't call me back herself as I have absolutely no desire to ever speak to her again. I only want to speak to her superiors to lodge a complaint.

Thank you all for talking to me. My head has well and truly exploded :(

What's the point in therapy if you're (collective you're not personal you're) going to be fearful of opening up. I thought the whole point was not be say whatever it is you're feeling. You might as well talk to a random stranger on the train.

I'm so sorry OP they really have betrayed your trust here. Just remember no one can force you any further into action, what has happened is the worst it can get. bloody idiots.

Oh op that isn’t acceptable at all, can I just give you some reassurance that unless you give permission and offer information (which you are not obliged tI do under any circumstances) then there is nothing they or anyone else can do about it. If anyone calls just say you have no idea what they are talking about and put the phone down.

Even if the police were to be involved ( which they won’t be) without your information and evidence nothing will happen.

So nothing is going to happen.

This must be extremely triggering and distressing for you. Op you are not a child anymore, no one can hurt you now okay. You are safe, even if you don’t feel it now.
If you feel you can, call the line manager and tell them you do not give your consent for this to be escalated and it is to stop immediately. Remind them of their confidentiality agreement to you and this is an historical matter.

These days, even in private conversations with priests, any historical or ongoing safeguarding issues will be picked up.

I've just spoken to somebody at their office, told them what has gone on and said I need to speak to somebody senior about it as I want this whole process stopped as its a data protection breach. The guy said he's going to talk to his colleague and find out the best person to pass it on to and they'll give me a call back shortly.

Hopefully that puts a pause on things if she hasn't already done it.

Almost always your counselling relationship is water tight. It’s highly unusual to have any need to report anything. Your organisation sounds like it is working differently to many. Maybe there are reasons but this should have been crystal clear to you at the very beginning.

@Idontwantthat :(

Try not to reel from this (hard I know)

The reality is...probably nothing will proceed until after the weekend.
Forget about speaking to anyone on the phone.
Get an email out to the tonight or first thing. (Im sure someoone here could help word it - I'm waaaay to ranty)
Say you will be complaining (you don't have to follow through if its too exhausting - they've nothing to offer you now in way of making thing right, all trust has gone.

Get back to your G.P.
PUSH for trauma informed therapy... i'ts there, you just have to fight for it.

Feel free to PM if you like.

@LaurieFairyCake im really concerned that if the perpetrator is alive and has potentially has access to children and vulnerable adults that you have never asked the name of the perp.

It is most definitely a good practice safeguarding procedure and I have worked for 20 years with women & trauma in teams of psychologists , nurses & counsellers.

Are they a counsellor or a therapist? That may make some difference with private counsellors here who might have different duty of care. NHS therapist here and we have to break confidentiality if we think there’s a risk to yourself or anyone else. In my case this is covered by the confidentiality agreement which I tell patients at the start of sessions. It sounds here like they are worried the abuser could potentially have contact with children so they just need to make sure the information is shared. Imagine if the abuser was still in a position where they could abuse people and then it got out that the counsellor hadn’t shared that information. They have a duty of care.

You've been let down so badly and treated awfully / insensitively. I hope someone senior and experienced gets back to you as soon as possible.

www.pac-uk.org/about/staff-profiles/ may give you names of leadership and/or management team. At first glance it doesn't appear to give email addresses or direct contact details though (other workers are also listed - which you may not wish to see).

Local or national rape crisis helpline (or one to one support) may be a safe place to talk through how this worker has impacted on you.

Counsellors working in organisations usually have line managers and/or clinical supervisors so their decisions can be reflected on in supervision. It’s usually a good thing because you know any big clinical decisions (discharge, escalation, risk management) isn’t just being made by one person, they have a second opinion

I am a counsellor too, and under no circumstances would an historical case be considered an immediate risk of serious harm. It’s not the counsellor’s job to cross examine clients or to police a clients feelings or decisions.

If you worked in trauma maybe the cases are/ were very recent and on going involving multiple agencies.

I think we have to be careful not to give the impression on this thread that private information is forced out of clients against their will, and escalated without consent in normal practice. This simply does not happen in most cases.

OP I've just been to the PAC-UK website (because I'm raging on your behalf!) and almost every person on their team trained first as a social worker. The rest primarily as teachers. Not a single one is qualified to do proper trauma therapy with someone who has CPTSD (one does EMDR but there is a LOT of training required to get beyond the basic level of that and I'd be surprised if she'd done it all - it's expensive and long).

I'm not finding Family Action Group when I search so can't speak about them, but I'm going to bet it's a similar story there. I think if you need support regarding adoption issues then that's the place to go, but nothing else.

I also think they'll be biased in their view of social services because of their backgrounds. Regardless of extra sessions that are free I truly think you need to follow your gut here and stay away from them. They're unlikely to be able to be a safe place for you.

You need to find a therapist with significant experience of dealing with sexual abuse ("trauma" is a wide term these days). They - at the very least - need a BACP registration. What I'd recommend however is a "Counselling Psychologist" who focuses on CPTSD/abuse. They have significant experience and expertise. Their training is demanding.

And don't be shy about contacting them and explaining your budgetary constraints. There are therapists out there who offer reduced price therapy in certain slots. Not all do and some don't advertise it, but you lose nothing by sending an email.

I'm still in shock by what this supposed counsellor and her manager have done to you, and their incredible misinterpretation of the confidentiality rules. You're handling it very well btw. Well done for going after them.

I agree with the above you need to see a professionally trained counsellor registered with BACP that specialises in childhood sexual abuse.

I am deeply sorry this has been your experience.

@SantanaBinLorry oh shush now Sandra.
thats exactly the kinda bullshit that leads to people disclosing when they dont feel ready to...have you actually read the OP's post.Sod off.

Would you be comfortable knowing this person is your teenage daughters teacher? I don't think so.