Am I: "Out of order" ?

[StupidUsernameUnavailable]

I have made arrangements to see a really old friend for lunch this Saturday. Due to covid and, well, life we haven't seen each other for nearly 3 years.

This Saturday would also have been my FILs birthday (he passed away last Sept)

My SIL has said that she wants a family picnic and everyone has to be there. I said it was a lovely idea and that DH and kids would be there but unfortunately I wouldn't as have plans with old friend (whole family know who this friend is).

I am out of order and selfish to have planned something on such a special day.

Am I? 🤷‍♀️

Has sil actually said you’re being unreasonable or are you just worried in advance? The only person that counts here is your Dh, imo, so if he’s ok about you meeting a friend, then go for it.

Would never have occurred to me or my husband to make a thing of our dead mothers’ birthdays because they’re, you know, dead. I think about her on the day but having a family picnic or whatever seems really odd to me. Go and see your friend and have a good time.