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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave 16 yr old at home alone for 2 weeks

231 replies

FanGurlll · 27/07/2022 17:56

For various reasons DS, 16, doesn't want to come on holiday this year.
Would you leave your 16 year old home alone?

OP posts:
OnaBegonia · 27/07/2022 19:53

You know your own son, if you feel
he's responsible then go your holiday.
MN don't leave 20yr olds home
never mind 16!

CallOnMe · 27/07/2022 19:57

Why do you have to give up your holiday?

Is there any way to compromise? They bring a friend, go home earlier etc.

If not they’ll have to suck it up as there’s no much else you can do.

Fluffytheevil1 · 27/07/2022 19:57

No. I wouldn’t trust my 16 year old alone for the evening. We left him to look after the dog while we went to the theatre. We came back, back, the door was wide open, the oven was on with nothing in it, every light on up and downstairs and the dog locked in the living room ‘watching’ Nickelodeon at cinematic volume, also bursting for the toilet 🤨he was upstairs binge watching something with his headphones on. I was in bed before he realised anyone was there. I don’t think I’d have a house left if he was left longer than that.

TheTeddyBears · 27/07/2022 20:04

I imagine I wld leave a 16yr old but no way for 2 weeks! Maybe a week and if a relative wet nearby incase if emergency and to check on them/the house.

StPaulandTheBrokenBones · 27/07/2022 20:05

I have just come back from Spain and my DS stayed at home for two weeks to look after my cat. He’s 17.

The house was tidy when I got back (DS was out at work when I got home) and he’d washed down the patio and got me some milk in for when I got in. The cat was happy and the litter tray was clean. Plenty of food and water out.

Not all teenagers are irresponsible so really it depends on the maturity of the teen.

Softplayhooray · 27/07/2022 20:06

FanGurlll · 27/07/2022 17:56

For various reasons DS, 16, doesn't want to come on holiday this year.
Would you leave your 16 year old home alone?

Oh good God no, I wasn't even a rebellious teen but I remember the party with a motorbike being ridden round our kitchen table and all sorts when the parents were out for a couple of nights. My older brothers were to blame really but so much can go wrong!!! It'd be asking for trouble in my view.

Saucepanwarrior · 27/07/2022 20:06

Fluffytheevil1 · 27/07/2022 19:57

No. I wouldn’t trust my 16 year old alone for the evening. We left him to look after the dog while we went to the theatre. We came back, back, the door was wide open, the oven was on with nothing in it, every light on up and downstairs and the dog locked in the living room ‘watching’ Nickelodeon at cinematic volume, also bursting for the toilet 🤨he was upstairs binge watching something with his headphones on. I was in bed before he realised anyone was there. I don’t think I’d have a house left if he was left longer than that.

He put Nickelodeon on for the dog…? 😂 He could at least have chosen Animal Planet for the poor dog.

TemperTrap · 27/07/2022 20:07

FanGurlll · 27/07/2022 19:10

Hmmmm, differing opinions!

I'm not too worried about parties, but I suppose you never really know.
We do have reliable neighbours and family close by, but I'm not comfortable with it to be honest. Equally, I'm pissed off that I have to give up my holiday because of it!

Is there a family member they can stay with?
Their choice, holiday or granny. I certainly wouldn't be giving up a holiday because of a grumpy teen.

FanGurlll · 27/07/2022 20:11

I'm hoping I can talk him into coming. I can't physically force him.
We are going abroad, so no compromises really, can't come home early and can't bring a friend.
He could maybe go to my parents, but they'd be under strict instructions not to run around entertaining him.
Best outcome is that he comes with us, and next year we will plan to leave him home.

OP posts:
Bairnsmum05 · 27/07/2022 20:13

It's a tricky one as legally he can vote and get married at that age.

A580Hojas · 27/07/2022 20:13

SausageMonkey2 · 27/07/2022 19:19

Scottish kids go to
uni at 17. Depends on your kid.

My dh is English and went to Uni at 17 years + 1 month (August baby).

Living at Uni is a totally different world to being left on your own for 2 weeks. Everyone at Uni has other people around them and support and services to take care of them if needed. They also aren't left in sole charge of a family home to which they could invite all their mates and half the neighbourhood.

Luredbyapomegranate · 27/07/2022 20:13

I am not sure why so many people are shocked. It’s perfectly possible to leave home at 16.

Whether I’d do this would depend on the teen - are they responsible or will they have mad parties, or get up to other trouble.

Assuming they are responsible and you have a neighbour who could check in if necessary then it’s fine.

But there’s no way I’d give up a holiday. If I wasn’t comfortable leaving them they would be coming with the threat of no allowance (or whatever would work) for the next year.

MissMaple82 · 27/07/2022 20:13

Fucking hell, no way

A580Hojas · 27/07/2022 20:13

Sorry, 18 years plus 1 month.

FanGurlll · 27/07/2022 20:13

Cross posted @TemperTrap ! He actually likes going to Granny - but 2 weeks might be pushing it a bit Grin

OP posts:
Siameasy · 27/07/2022 20:14

I was left and I was non-plussed but today’s 16 year olds are more like a 12 year old. So probably not. Many don’t even seem
to have part time jobs, that was a must in the 90s.

FatBettyintheCoop · 27/07/2022 20:17

Knittingnanny2 · 27/07/2022 18:06

I should have added that I wouldn’t have left him for 2 weeks though.
By the way, not every 16 year old will trash their home when left alone.

Yes, it's usually the 'friends' that trash the house, not the homeowners offspring. 😂

I used to live in a Semi. Years ago, my neighbours left their 19yr old and 17yr old at home when they went abroad for two weeks. The kids had a party and one of their friends set the rubbish bins on fire and I had to climb over the fence with the garden hose to put it out. They were very grateful that I didn't call the emergency services. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🤣

SexyLittleNosferatu · 27/07/2022 20:18

honkeytonkwoman38 · 27/07/2022 19:53

And this thread is a prime example of why when they go away to university they haven't a bloody clue how to function!

Completely agree with you.

rookiemere · 27/07/2022 20:18

Festoonlights · 27/07/2022 19:33

Absolutely not. I wouldn’t even leave a 16 year old overnight. 18 years old is our agreed age.

Is that a joke ?

SexyLittleNosferatu · 27/07/2022 20:20

Fluffytheevil1 · 27/07/2022 19:57

No. I wouldn’t trust my 16 year old alone for the evening. We left him to look after the dog while we went to the theatre. We came back, back, the door was wide open, the oven was on with nothing in it, every light on up and downstairs and the dog locked in the living room ‘watching’ Nickelodeon at cinematic volume, also bursting for the toilet 🤨he was upstairs binge watching something with his headphones on. I was in bed before he realised anyone was there. I don’t think I’d have a house left if he was left longer than that.

In all seriousness is this not your failing? You've raised a kid to the age of 16 and yet they aren't capable of spending one single night alone without a series of mishaps?

SD1978 · 27/07/2022 20:20

Then he goes to his grandparents. I'm sorry, I get 16 is an awkward almost adult age, but he is dictating that he doesn't want to go, therefore you don't get to go, and he gets to do exactly what he wants. No. It's holiday abroad, or grandparents. I can not believe you're entertaining everyone is miserable on the whims of a 16 year old teenage boy!

SmellyWellyWoo · 27/07/2022 20:23

Yes I would, but would have family checking in on him a few times a week and would obviously keep in regular contact.

Scarlettpixie · 27/07/2022 20:24

No I wouldn’t.

why doesn’t he want to come? Can you involve hom on choosing where to go or what to do?

if he won’t come I would just not go this year.

Sallyh87 · 27/07/2022 20:25

I think it’s okay, I’d still nervous though. I went to University at 17 so not much older and I was fine.

Bintymcbintface · 27/07/2022 20:25

Sorry but I think it's funny you've gone from "worrying that they're alone, hearing noises at night" to "putting the bins out" oh my poor child.... THE RUBBISH BIN!