To leave 16 yr old at home alone for 2 weeks

[FanGurlll]

For various reasons DS, 16, doesn't want to come on holiday this year.
Would you leave your 16 year old home alone?

I feel 16 is too young for two weeks, mine still wanted to come with us then. My friend left her son when he was 17 and she came home to find he had a huge party and her house was wrecked. However, she’d had problems with him, drinking and drugs and bringing random people back to the house and stealing from her too. I think you know what sort of teen you have.

Not a chance.

Depends on the teen. I’d have left one of mine at that age no problem but not the other, she’d have had all her mates round and it would have been carnage. I didn’t leave her until she was 19.

Nope. Far too long.

I would, but I have very good relationships with my neighbours and 2 very good friends who live very close. There'd be lots of ground rules and regular checking in by friends and neighbours. He's very sensible though.

What's your support system like?

@RandomMess I agree re the unexpected. That’s why I was so pleased to have a lovely willing neighbour on hand

Well my parents did when I was that age - I had a great time (though wasn’t for a full two weeks). Did culminate in having a party and the police being called - but hey no major damage done.

This was the 70s and DM no longer mentions it!

Not in a million years

Tbh if they are not capable by age 16 then somethings gone wrong.

Nope I wouldn't do it!

If there's a good reason - for example, he has a great summer job and would lose it if he took 2 weeks off - I'd consider it. Would depend on whether I trust him to be reasonable, whether he's stayed alone for shorter periods - at the very least a weekend - and so knows what to expect, and if there are friends/family nearby who he'd be able to go to in an emergency.

I was left at this age. It's fine.

If you've done your job and raised a competent young adult who can cook safely, will actually clean up after themselves and can be trusted to have only small gatherings and not huge parties then it is fine.

You know your kid better than anyone else. You know if they are capable. They're a young adult, not a child. If they've been given responsibility as you raised them then they'll be ready for it.

I think you know your own child..... My eldest nearly 18 is only just beening left for a few days with good neighbors and family round the corner, however so is my 14 year old. They both work and can cook but I know the limits they both have. As a parent it's your judgement, no one elses

No. We didn’t leave overnight until just 17 and I mean one night, probably because it didn’t arise, but two weeks at 16 is too long.

God no , left mine for 5 days at that age . I said he could have a few people round -there were 70

Err nooooo

Nope.

Have left my now 16yo a couple of times for a night, in charge of the dogs. Would do a a weekend, but not 2 weeks.

Left him (then 15) and ds1 (then 18) for a long weekend last summer.

Left ds1 (then 17) for 8 days, but he had the option to stay at his dads (and I think did so for a couple of nights), and ds2 was there occasionally after school with their dad collecting him later.

I'd have no concerns about MY 16yo having parties, or basically being fine as long as nothing untoward occured. But wouldn't really want him to be on his own for a couple of weeks in our location - small village, rubbish public transport, no shops, and would be worried about the potential untoward happening!

I'd leave both of them for 2 weeks if i needed to, although tbh the 16yo is probably the more responsible and if I was going on holiday he'd like to come with me anyway.

@MajorCarolDanvers - of course nothing has ‘gone wrong’ if your 16 year old can’t be left for 2 weeks. There could be plenty of reasons which are obvious, surely.

My gut reaction with my own teen DC is that I wouldn't but that's partly because they're quite young for their ages and I don't think they would want to be on their own for two weeks.

However I know some 16 year olds who have moved away from home to live independently in other parts of the country to take up educational/sporting opportunities and they've been fine. In short, it depends what the individual is like. It would also depend on there being friends/neighbours/family nearby who could help in an emergency.

Yes, 16 is fine.

In my opinion, times have changed. Up until the end of the 00s, it was normal to give a 16-year-old a fair amount of Independence and freedom (it was normal to leave home, work full-time etc). Over the last decade or so, for better or for worst 16 and 17 have very much become a child. I know legally that at these ages one has always been a minor, but it’s only been recently that these ages are given a lot less responsibility in life.

Op, you are the only person who knows your son, but I wouldn’t

Not a chance!

I you've done your job and raised a competent young adult who can cook safely, will actually clean up after themselves and can be trusted to have only small gatherings and not huge parties then it is fine.

It's really not as simple as 'do all the right things and your teenager will definitely be a reliably responsible and sensible young adult' and 'fail to do all the right things and your teenager will be bad' though, is it? Teenagers of good parents still do stupid shit sometimes.

I couldn't in the area that I live. Someone would bully their way in. My DD could be left overnight from nearly 15 with a mate staying. I had family close by. Two weeks for a first time is too long.

My friend’s mum did similar and the stories are still golden 25 years later 🤣🤣

In my experience, British people baby their children. So, when they reach 16, they're not as mature as they really should be.

I wasn't born here. Where I was born, teens are given much more independence and responsibility. Being left for a couple weeks at 16 wouldn't even be a question.