No one sent any cards

[ThereIsTooMuchConfusion]

I know this is unreasonable. I send cards to people all the time, I’m not super sociable but I am always there when people call and listen to others. I buy things for others when I see them and know they will like it.

my gran died 2 weeks we were really close and no one has sent anything. It was expected and she was as old. I miss her. I feel pathetic to be angry that not one of my friends has sent a card.

What a gorgeous message from your friend ❤️

You both sound lovely!

Each to their own of course but this is so surprising to me.

We can still grieve & be sad, and want that acknowledged, even when the person who has died was old or death was expected.

It's recognising their significance to the bereaved person, and marking their life, whether in the form of offering condolences, attending the funeral or writing a card.

@ThereIsTooMuchConfusion My condolences for your loss.

I send a card when I hear of a friend or neighbours loss.
i was deeply touched when people wrote to me when each of my parents died, I know that a simple message can be a comfort.

But not many peoples send cards or letters to share thoughts & wishes around key life experiences these days. At the moment, It is far easier to find an end-of-year card for teacher than a tasteful ‘with sympathy’ or no message card.

If I see a suitable card for a bereavement, I buy a handful.

Most people would only send one card so if you’re not the most immediate family member it wouldn’t go to you. Tbh the more family members you lose the more you realise that many people are just pretty self absorbed and don’t acknowledge it at all

I’m sorry for your loss.

I do send cards and sometimes even letters. However even I wouldn’t necessarily send one for bereavement unless it was to a spouse or close friend’s parent. So please don’t take it personally.

I'm not in the UK, and sympathy cards are still sent here - although I'm sure in lesser amounts than they used to be. However, cards are generally sent to one address for the whole family. I don't think I would send a card specifically to a friend for a grandparent loss, although I would certainly acknowledge it in person or by text. Sorry for your loss.

Sorry for your loss. Although you like sending people cards most people don't and just prefer to message it doesn't mean they don't care its just not really a thing anymore

Please do not take it to heart. Some people would not understand that this is important to you. 😘

Here is a virtual card for you! 🌄I am so sorry you have loss your gran, my children’s relationship with their nana was so special and you have said, how close you were to your gran. You are not pathetic, you just want someone to acknowledge that you have lost someone who you loved very much and was so special to you. 💐

My dad died recently. My siblings and I got loads of sympathy cards, our children (young adults) got none.

I don’t think it’s the norm to send a sympathy card for the loss of a grandparent.

Sorry for your loss. May she Rest In Peace.
I still send cards and I’m renowned for it simply because it is such a rarity. I don’t really know of anyone else who does so please don’t take it too hard. Also, don’t let it change you -you are who you are so keep sending those cards because it is as meaningful for the person who receives it as it is for you to give it.💐

Sorry for your loss OP. You sound like a lovely person. However, it's not usual to send cards when grandparents die, in my circles, so try not to think too badly of people.

Sorry for your loss xxx

Ah, I'm sorry OP. I do understand. I think at these times you feel more vulnerable and a card is recognition of that. I hope you had some thoughtful messages from friends?

I am a big card sender and sadly have sent a lot of sympathy cards in the last couple of years with the loss of friends' parents. I do not think I would send one for a grandparent, however. If I knew your parents, I would probably send them a card.

I'm 46 and love getting and sending cards but it is, as others say, very variable these days. I had an operation a few years ago and was in hospital and off work for 2 months. The cards I got really made a difference to me, maybe because I spent a long time recovering on the sofa and it was lovely having them around me in the lounge! But I wouldn't think badly of someone for not sending one - my friends are all different and many just don't do cards. They would get in touch and support me when I needed them, however, which is the mark of a friend.

I lost a parent last year and some of the people I would have deemed close friends have shown no support whatsoever. One in particular which is very hurtful.
I have learnt that people just aren’t who you think they are and don’t really understand grief until it happens to them. That’s why grief is so lonely.
I’m sorry for your loss xx

I think grief is sometimes price you pay for having love in your life. It's usually worth it though. I'm sorry for your loss.

I am sorry for your loss, OP, your gran obviously meant a great deal to you.

It's such a difficult thing to know what to do when somebody suffers a bereavement. Perhaps not everybody has talked about it in advance, said what their wishes are? I know that my personal view on this is not mainstream. I lost my brother last year, I was sent a huge basket of flowers by one close friend and a card by my other close friend. I was truly upset at receiving these. I was struggling very much and I couldn't wait to get the flowers out of my house. Both friends meant very well but both missed the mark. I didn't want visible and tangible reminders of my loss.

We are all different. You didn't say whether you send cards for bereavement, just that you send cards all the time. Again, if this is normal in your circle and appreciated, then yes, your friends should know this. If I were a friend I would send you a card as it would be expected; I wouldn't want one in return. Just different expectations. I'm sure your friends would be saddened to know that you're upset by the lack of cards. If you're close then this is something that you can mention to them and I think you should so that everybody knows what the score is.

Sorry for your loss xxX

@ThereIsTooMuchConfusion
Sorry for the loss of your loved Grandparent.

I wouldn't know of anyone that would send a card to someone who lost an elderly grandparent outside the family, as it is ''Expected'', and in the natural order of things.
Wouldn't make it any less painful though, if you were close.

Grief hurts, and I am sorry for your loss.

Absolutely this.

I am so so sorry about your nan. I hope you feel better soon.

I am like you, a bit old fashioned and I love sending cards. However I notice that the younger generation is more into whatsapps/Facebook messages and other lazy/free/less meaningful means of communication. Some don't even make a phonemail on a birthday, and think a quick WhatsApp will suffice. It's a shame, and I think, like you, that a card is way more thoughtful.

I lost my niece aged 5 and I don’t think anyone sent me a card. But that never crossed my mind. What mattered was the friends that were there for me on a daily/weekly basis checking in…
sorry for your loss. Hope you’re ok.

You aren't ''Pathetic'' at all.
When Dad died, I read a book by Virginia Ironside called ''You'll get over it'' {She meant that to be purposefully provocative, as it's the kind of dismissive thing people can say}
It was really helpful in understanding grief, and why it hurts so much, and why things just like you describe can be so 'Hurtful'.

I miss my elderly neighbour, who wasn't even a relative.
She died aged 92.

I love card but I am the odd one out in my social circle. I would expect close friends to cheer me up though. Like surprise me or take me out. Its what I do if I know they are upset.

OP, I’m really sorry for your loss.
please try not to take this personally. I rarely send cards. Are people calling to offer condolences or sending messages of support?