No one sent any cards

[ThereIsTooMuchConfusion]

I know this is unreasonable. I send cards to people all the time, I’m not super sociable but I am always there when people call and listen to others. I buy things for others when I see them and know they will like it.

my gran died 2 weeks we were really close and no one has sent anything. It was expected and she was as old. I miss her. I feel pathetic to be angry that not one of my friends has sent a card.

Honestly, it just wouldn't occur to me to send a card, unless I hadn't seen/supported the bereaved person, when I would send a card.

I'm sorry your loved one died, but sending, or not sending a card really isnt, in my experience, any kind of measure of how much others care for y ou.

It wouldn’t occur to me to send a card. I didn’t receive any cards for the death of my grandparents or for my Dad. To be honest I don’t really tend to get them for my birthday either apart from one from my mum. I don’t send cards to friends either, I think most people under 40 don’t really send cards for things anymore.

This is what I thought, too.

Sorry for your loss OP.
people do send less cards nowadays, the usual way is to post on FB if something happened in your life ( it’s not my favourite way of doing it but it the reality)
Are you sure that your friends know about your loss?

Judgey much? I don't send cards because it's outdated. The idea of pulping trees to make cards and envelopes, to pay for sending them and the carbon used to do so, just to convey a sentiment you can do by text or voice or facetime is inane and old fashioned. It's pointless.

It's not about laziness, its about it not being 1950

Like most, I don't think I would send a card for the loss of a Grandparent, possibly unless I knew the Grandparent (in which case I would likely be sending it to the parents, for the loss of their parent). Not to minimise the loss, but I am likely to be thinking how lucky they were to still have grandparents into adulthood, and would probably say that I was sorry to hear that, but not really think it was something I would send a card for.
I am sorry that you are sad about it though.

Agreed. So sorry OP ❤️

I would have sent you a card.

So sorry for your sad loss 💐

I'm sorry for your loss. When my dad passed away I got a card from work, a card from my ex best friend and another card from her mum. And a card from DH's family. I wasn't expecting them really. I guess I'm trying to say maybe people didn't realise your gran was alive and close to you. Even my dad and I got four I didn't expect.

My DF died a month ago. I’ve been taken aback by the range of responses - some acquaintances sent lovely flowers, others whom I thought were very close friends didn’t even send a card. The particular stand outs are two friends for whom I bought flowers and a card for when their parent died in the last few years and they sent me condolences via text.

i didn’t receive nor did I expect cards when my grandparents died.

Sorry for your loss op. I guess it depends if your friends are card people or not. I would send you one but then we send cards for engagement/anniversary/thank you etc.

Sorry for your loss, OP. I am of the younger generation (mid-20s) and always send a card when someone passes away or there is a significant life event. Two of my friends recently lost their grandparents and I sent cards, and when I lost a family member last year my best friend sent a card to me. It is definitely still the done thing in some circles. I do think technology and social media has made people more careless in some ways; for some a text is enough while I feel it is very impersonal.

I wouldn't expect one for a grandparent tbh but sorry you're upset

I don’t often send cards and I never have and never would send a card to offer my condolences - it would just never enter my head to do so.

You can’t judge your friends for not doing something that you usually do.
We are all different and show our love in different ways.

Sorry for your loss x

L always send cards with a personal message. Perhaps OP your post might make others think how such a simple gesture can mean so much to a grieving relative xx sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry, OP.

To break it down into choosing, buying, writing and sending to try to make it seem like you’re really putting effort in and to call others selfish and lazy for not doing it is ridiculous. You can choose, buy, write and send a card in a very short time.

It’s not ‘tosh’ to say lots of people don’t send cards anymore. None of our friends do and only a few older family members do. There’s been threads on here before about it, lots of people don’t.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I think it's lovely that you send cards but you shouldn't expect it of other people. It doesn't mean they don't care. I usually wouldn't send one for someone's grandparent. I don't know why I just wouldn't.

A few people still send my Xmas cards when I haven't sent them one for years. If they are disappointed in me not sending them now it's on them!

Sorry for your loss OP. 💐I get it - I remember being upset by how few people bothered to send my mum anything after my dad died. TBH I think a lot of people are cowardly about sending sympathy cards because they 'worry about saying the wrong thing', which imo is a pathetic excuse not to say anything at all. Either that or they just can't be arsed.

I know not everyone's a card person, but bereavements are an occasion that really does call for cards imo.

Well, I went to check - text messages are indeed far lighter on CO2 than letters.

But on the scale of things, I think that sending a card in this sort of instance is clearly meaningful and more appreciated than a text.

0.014 grams for a text message
140 grams of CO2e for a 10-gram letter

www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2016/01/07/461381813/how-much-do-your-text-messages-contribute-to-global-warming

When my father, mother, and sister died, I didn't get cards either. They werent old or sick. The family that I had left didn't even say "Sorry for your loss", they just acted like it didn't happen. People are cunts op, I'm sorry for your loss xx

I'm very sorry for your loss 💐

I'm very much like you - I send cards, remember people & important events & make a point of actively sympathising, including sending a card / writing a letter.

I know that many people don't now, and think that you have to take that into account.

I hope those close to you have sympathised directly / called - that's important and if they know you, they really should.

Also, your grief for your gran is totally valid.There isn't a hierarchy in the sense that you shouldn't be expected to grieve 'less'.

I hope you have lots of happy memories to comfort you.

Cards aren't really the done thing these days especially for a grandparents. If I was to send a card it'd be to the person's husband/wife or children, you wouldn't think to send a grandchild a card.