To want baby number four?

[Ohforgoodnesssakess]

I know I am. I’ve just had baby number three and I am consumed with sadness this will be the last one.

she is so perfect I want another ten of her. Cannot believe i am never going to be pregnant again, give birth again, have a newborn again etc etc

i was so hoping I’d feel ‘done’ when she was born

i know rationally it makes no sense to have a fourth although it didn’t make sense to have a third either and that didn’t stop me and I’m so glad I did but I can’t stop feeling sad

tell me this feeling goes away? I can’t end up with twenty children!

I had a 4th and still felt the same but sanity stopped me.

Teenage years have been very expensive and challenging.

I always wonder why people want so many kids. What would you hope your 5th child would give you that your first 4 already don't?

Not everyone is, but most are. If they weren't the human race would have died out by now. I'm oddly not, not most of the time. Might get a random urge sometimes, but it's easy to ignore because I think of what a child entails and that kills the urge instantly. 😂

Agree.

Ironically their kids will pay the price. Imagine the heat in 50 years?

Stop at 3 OP and enjoy what you have. I have 2 at uni. I dont have the funds to pay for their fees. They are going to graduate with loans of £27K each. I give each DC £1000 a month which covers their rent and food. Anything else, they have to work at the weekends for. Can you afford it? It will only increase in the next 20 years.

be grateful for the three healthy children you have

Or it doesn't. Some of us have four children.

Just because someone can afford 4 children now does not mean they will be able to afford them in the future

Just cos you can afford one now doesn't mean you will be able to in the future. By this logic, no-one should ever have a child and the human race dies out

I have 4 and I’m happy with my decision. I’m totally done now but still had that urge when the last was a newborn. There is a way of saving money with more children You need to reduce food waste abd reuse clothes. As for climate change I know many more people choosing to have no children. If we all did that then humans really would become exstinct.

No. Give the 3 that already exist a better life.
How will you have time and money for 4 humans? Not cutie babies, 4 living breathing thinking feeling HUMANS

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I think it’s quite a common feeling? I certainly felt it when my second was a newborn. She’s 20 months now and my husband does not want anymore. Realistically, I don’t want any more as I would struggle to divide my attention between three. 2 feels manageable to me. I also struggled going from 1 to 2 and found the first year of my DDs life immensely challenging. I don’t know how I could do it again. I don’t know how much of that was 2 under 2, lockdown and my husband working away a lot and leaving me on my own but it almost broke us and I was quite depressed looking back. Even knowing all of this, I’ll always wonder ‘what if’ but I know it’s not the right decision for our family.
Enjoy your new baby and congratulations.

We are never going to “all do that” so it’s a rubbish justification for the climate impact of having loads of children.

What is this nonsense? What do you think those of us with 4 do, pick the ugliest one and keep it in the basement once its not a cute baby anymore?

I never felt 'done' till I had 3, then met my now husband and wanted one with him so had a fourth. I felt completely after that but I'd probably have had more had I not been sterilised which I wanted as I'd had four c sections.

Sorry replied to wrong thread.

I've got 4 and don't regret it. Looking forward to grandkids

Some people never feel done but you weigh up how much you can afford and how much other children will impact the children you have

Rainbowmilk birth rates are falling, someone has to have children. Why guilt the people that want them? Some people want none some want four and in an advanced society birth rate falls as none is a more popular choice then four.

Because having four children is horrific for the environment and I have to live on this planet?

Someone may “have” to have children (as if there’s a dire shortage of such people and you’re all doing us a favour…) but nobody “has” to have four.

But its not horrific for the environment, at all. Not comparitively.

Rainbowmilk you only don’t see the effects of a low birth rate in this country because we import immigrants. Try to imagine the NHS without workers from countries with higher birth rates. It’s selfish to have children it’s also selfish no to have them.

@berksandbeyond obviously there are people with more time and money with you so 4 is no stretch.
There will be wealthy families will 3/4 children who have a much better life than very poor families with 1/2. Having 3 or 4 children does not mean your children will not have a good life. I wager a bet my 3 have more in their lives than many other children their age. So will our 4 when they arrive.
very wealthy example; The Beckhams have 4 children. Do you think they should’ve stuck to 3 to give them a better life? Didn’t think so.

Having children is mad really isn't it. So much about one's selfish impulses and urges and so little about the impact on the actual human lives you're bringing into the world and what it means for and to them. As well as the impact on those that already exist.

Most people give more thought to buying a used car.

I would have loved to have been surrounded by children but we stopped at 2 because we couldn’t afford more than 2.

@Bigwetdog impact on the child that’s being born?